Oh Gwen, I knew what was going on and I am sure that each and everyone of us were praying for you.
I am so sorry that I forgot to tell you that when you are on the right track, that the enemy will attack harder.
That is showing you that yes, you are on the right track
I forgive you for the lie because Jesus has shown you the truth... He still had you and you couldn't do it.
I want you to also know that you have the power of His name to tell those thoughts to leave you. When something negative comes... bad thoughts that you know are not from God.... say out loud.... "Leave me in Jesus name" and change those thoughts to Jesus and praise Him. Keep a favorite Scripture handy or a special song... ask Him to give you your own Scripture.
Do it as many times as you need... not begging but believing it has to bow down to Jesus name.
Phl 2:10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth
and you will see that it will get weaker and come less often. It will try to get you in other ways or will try to sneak that old lie in but now you know what to do. Replace the old with the new because you are new now and the old died with your old self.
2Cr 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
Keep going to that new church popples... bring Mr Popples along too. Don't worry about the studies yet, just go and worship and be with like believers for now, soaking in how they know God... how God wants you to know Him. Let Him tell you what He wants you to do to break off strongholds.
You are so loved and believe it or not Gwen, you are doing great!!