There is so many other place this post would apply on this forum,but I am thinking this one is best. My daughter she will be 24 years old,come July.Our relationship has been a rocky one,we are not that close at all.Some where when she turned 15 and met who is now her husband,she became a diffrent person,very cold and calculating. Her husband has abused her and she has two children,and both have been directly in the middle of their fights,the oldest one has seen things that I believe has tramatized him a great deal.My daughter has gone back and forth(leaving him and going back to him)not really settling down.Back in November,she decided to leave him again,explaining to me the the unbelieveable things he done to her and had done to the kids.She got a slew of people involved,police and detectives.She met some one and moved to another town,got an apartment,and he let her use his car to go to work.All the while keeping tabs on her husband. She then asked me to write her a note explaing to the cops that she was in harm and she was afraid of what he might do to her so that she can get an order of protection from him.In March,she just got up one day and decided to go back to her husband,leaving everything behind,knowing he is not working and has no place to live.I then was supponed to go to court over the note I wrote back in November! Meanwhile,She asked me to borrow my car,so that she continue to work in the other town(she wanted to keep tabs on this other guy is my guess)She told me she would have the car back to me by April 20th.I was also watching her youngest child then too.Well,come April 17th,she called me telling me she got into a wreck,but it was fixable and that she wouild fix it on the 19th(she was off)before she brought it back to me on the 20th.I hadn't heard from her,so I called she kept turning the phone off,and finally got a hold of her about 2pm!I asked her where she was she said she was at the consignment shop,when she was supposed to be fixing my car!I told her that and she said well,I can't today because I have to go to work in 30 minutes!I was so angry!I told her to just bring me back my car !She pulled up and,she had her husband,the kids and another person with her inthe car as well!I figured they were running around in it all morning and I assumed she knew from previous times that I don't like people I don't know in my car.She then continued to tell me that she needed my car to get back home and she will return it later.Mind you there are 7 people living inthe trailer now.This happened at about 2:30pm,about 8pm her husband pulled up in his truck(yes he has a truck,but I figured he didn't want to wake up early and drive her to work every day)and she pulled up in my car.He came up and he threw the keys at me,saying here you B---H heres your keys,loose our numbers,were done with you,and he quickly left .I hadn't heard from either of them til our court date,May 15th(the day before my grandson turned 5)My daughter sat in the back seat,turned her head and would not acknowledge me.The husband strangely enough,sat in the pew as me,but quite a distence away,he kept looking back at her and then finally moved out of my view.The case was dissmissed at 4pm.I finally caught up with them,as my daughter was rolling up her window as not to speak to me,I tapped the window and asked her what she planned to do about my grandsons birthday the next day,she would not acknowledge me,kept looking straight ahead.He asked her if she was going to answer me or should he go,she said go,and they left!It broke my heart that she could be so mean like this to me.When I got home,I texted her(this is the only way she will communicate with me,usually being real ugly)So I inquired about my grandson again,she said my hisband told you to loose our numbers,and he was serious about that,I can't stand to look at you,I am done with you.
So I didn't contact her again.Then one day last week,I saw her,that person who was in my car,and the kids at the doctors office.My youngest one saw me first and just stopped and stared at me,I called to hima nd quickly picked him up and hugged on him.I then looked around and saw my oldest grandson,he was distant and didn't act the same,usually they would both come running up to me.Hekept looking at me,so I went up to him and gave him a hug,he looked to confused as to what to do,I waved to him to come to me as I was sitting away from them.He mouthed to me that I can't grandma,my mother won't let me but I don't know why! It almost made me cry!(The last time she trated me this way she told him that I didn't want to see him any more)no telling what they told him this time around.So then the little one who will be 2 come June,ran to me,He said Memaw and I picked him up and told him that I loved him,he smiled at me and gave me the biggest hug! I then went to the oldest child who looked scared as what to do,and hugged him again,He told me Grandma I want to go to your house,I told him I know baby and HUgged him and gave hima kiss and told him that I loved him,He told me the same and they left.My heart broke yet again.While all this was happening,she moved so that the back of her head was facing me.I then again texted her,she told me she couldn't believe that I was really texting her again,she said after she brought hearrassment charges againt me. I told her that I was not herrassing her,that I wanted to know if I could spend some time with the kids,she told me again to loose her number that she was done with me.I then got on the phone and called the police to see if I had any charges or reports filed against me,they said as of now you do not,so I dont know if she just said that to make me scared,because Iam sure the judge will see that I was just trying to reach out,while she was being the ugly one to me. But I do know thatit took 4 months for the court date to go through over the note written back in November,but.....when her husband was continually calling me one time threating me,when she left him,I called the police,and all he told me was that he could call her husband and give him a waring not to call me anymore.I never got one of those calls.So I don't know. But It is driving me crasy that she would treat me this way,I feel its abusive,manipulitive and I don't know why she is doing this to me.I have help her and those kids a coutless number of times and I feel so used now,it breaks my heart that she has no respect for me,and even more so keeping those beautiful children away from me.I don't know what to do anymore,reaching out to her is doing absoulutly nothing,but letting her talk to me like trash.Whay would she act this way to her own mother? What if any thing do you advise?