Hi my new sister in Christ.
I see you got your name change, I do not have any answers only prayers for you, your daughter and your husband
I hear what you are saying of the church and it may be judgement or they may be seeing a lot more clear than you are due to the love you have for your husband....PLEASE do not take that wrong I am NOT saying abandon him I am happy that you are willing to stick it out BUT just be careful that what may destroy him does not destroy you as well, he can only be helped if he chooses and crack does not allow you to have a choice after so long of doing it as with many addictions.
The issues with your daughter acting out and the church being judgemental and his addiction are ALL things that God can show you how to handle (the teenage thing just remember all teenagers are rough to handle) but I imagine by your post it is not the typical stuff. as for the church I don't know your church BUT I do know there are a lot of judgemental churches as well as people themselves that feel if you do anything like drinking, drugs or even other things you are not right with God and they do not KNOW God as we do, you see God wants us to come to Him as we are and allow Him to heal us = with God ALL things are possible, He does not want just the ones that do no wrong He wants the broken and hurt as well.
Some see God as this very strict forceful God, I do not I see Him as my earthly father only bigger and even more forgiving
Yes my earthly father beat my behind with a belt growin up, he even snatched me up by the wrap of my neck or hair (I really hated that) BUT he ONLY done that when it was needed, when I was being unreasonable or out of control, other than that my father loved me and provided for me and forgave me for all I done wrong (like sticking him in the back with a yard dart I threw wildly into the air OR playing in his truck and starting it while it was in gear and it backed into the fence messing up his truck AND the fence) point is he probably don't even remember without me reminding him that I done those things......sound familuar??? God forgives and forgets it is US that reminds.
PLEASE look DEEPLY into the counseling pages and if possible encourage your husband to do the same, and know we will open our arms to you both as children of God and a brother and sister of ours
I along with others here are VERY slow to judge IF we would at all, I will not say we are perfect because we are not but we will love and support you as you need.
Also encourage your daughter to come here there is a large awesome teen only area, this is an awesome site for all
PLEASE try NOT to feel uncomfortable here, we are family here and love each other as such and we ALL have our on burdens that we carry BUT we carry them together and it makes for a lighter load.
I hope to hear more from you and also to hear of God's blessings pouring out onto you and your family
May God wrap His loving arms around you and give you peace, God bless.
Your new friend and brother in Christ