Journal 5

[Larry77]

Going to have to reread this last step 5, a lot for me to take in today, maybe it is just the day.

To be renewed and have this new out look on life sounds so good, just not sure how to go about it or what to except or what I can do with being renewed. It almost feels like the devil is making me doubt myself and what I want to do and this change I want in my life. Making me think "what can I do" or "how can I change at this time and point in my life". So I will pray and hold on to the Holy Spirit and blow the devil off and carry on in the way I feel I need and want to go.

And the battle is before me...........

[Mackenaw]

Hello Larry

God bless you this day.

I am going to share how I look at this, but I have to tell you that others may not see it that way at all, but it works for me.

It almost feels like I'm two different people: My old self...the carnal me that just went about doing as I thought right. But, now I also have a new life in Christ, and in order for me to access that new life, or put it on, I have to die to my old self. God's Word tells me that I am a new creature in Him...a spiritual being; however, I still have this carnal body and my soul...my personality... and, with that comes, all my carnal way of thinking and old habits and old worldly teachings. But, again, I now have a new life in Christ, and that new life in Christ includes the indwelling of The Holy Spirit, Who, speaks to me and influences and teaches me, along with His Word, the way of God.

How do I die to my old self? I make the decision every day, and sometimes several times a day, to connect to God, spirit to Spirit, and allow Him to direct my steps, decisions, etc. I talk to Him. I ask Him to direct me, and I keep my spiritual eyes and ears open to Him throughout the day. Why several times a day? Because, I find, I default back, a lot.

Sometimes I will be going about my life, and suddenly He'll nudge me -- not physically, but like a knock, knock, knock in my brain. That happens a lot, when I'm, maybe, avoiding serving someone, and maybe I'm trying to convince myself I'm too busy at the moment. Or, it could be during a conversation with someone else, and I disagree with them, and my carnal self rises up and I want to "win". Eeeeuuuwwwwwww!!! By the way, my carnal/natural self can be so competitive and so ornery.

God will remind me that it is not about being right, but about being righteous -- being in right standing with Him.

Initially, I was a mess. I couldn't stay connected spirit to Spirit for more than a minute or two, before I was back to my own carnal thinking and doing. But, with practice, and with His blessed help, it felt more natural to be in my new nature in Christ. It didn't feel as awkward, or like I was pretending. See, I don't know about you, but when I start something new, it can feel like I'm just pretending, even when I'm not, but it feels that way because it is so foreign to my old ways.

I've given this example before, but I'll share with you. My husband used to be a police officer. When he first got on the police force and they gave him his uniform and gun, etc., he came home and he and I just stared at his uniform, gun, hat, holster, badge, night stick, ...then we just looked at one another and laughed. See, we've known one another since we were 12 years old. A cop??? my hubby??? really??? and he felt the same way...really??? Well, the reality was...Yes, he was a cop -- even though it felt awkward to him, almost as if he was pretending...until he walked as a cop for a while.

Well, it is sort of the same principle here...God says we are a new creature in Christ, and so now we just need to believe Him and His Word, and walk in it.

I don't know anyone that walks in Spirit (or in their new spirit life) 100% of the time. But, as we continue to seek The Lord, with the understanding of what He is doing inside us -- He is sanctifying us -- our new life (nature) in Christ, becomes stronger and stronger, and our old nature becomes weaker and weaker. Because The Lord changes our "want to", too. Thank You Jesus.

I hope this helps.

I'm praying for you, Larry. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[realtmg]

Larry,
As satan is seeing you getting closer to god ,he will step it up a gear to try and deter you and plant negative thoughts within.
This has been my experience.
We are in a battle of a spiritual realm.
Keep fighting the good fight of faith brother.
I enjoy your attitude in this study.
just take it slow and easy and allow God plant those seeds in rich soil.
keeping an eye on ya.

GBU

Real