Jill's thoughts for the day...

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Amen Vahn!!

Jill we love you!!! AND YOUR DAUGHTER TOO!!!
I know this ain't much but it is what came to mind
How many times have you upset, disappointed or angered God because of your choice or attitude??
BUT in ALL those times He continues to love you unconditionally (even when you are SOOO wrong) with the hope you will open your eyes and see He wants whats best for you, and yes it will be hard but if you do what He wishes you will be blessed beyond belief.

You see He didn't agree with our paths we chose but He continued to wait for us to chose the right path so He could lead us
and even when we were lashing out at Him or turning away from Him He never showed His anger or disapointment as much as He should have, instead He loved us even more.

This cannot be easy for you and I am sorry you are going through this with her, but love her like our Lord loves us
Look her square in the eye when she lashes out and tell her....I love you and I always will!!
OUCH!!!!...man did you see that black eye satan just got, did you see him shrink in size just now.
will this work instantly...nope!! will it work at all...who knows but what other choice would be of God??
Like you said there is no instruction book of how to deal with this, but there is a help manual and counselor

I know my words are of not much help but I care deeply for you and Vahn as my sister and brother in Christ and will ALWAYS be here to listen and offer words of encouragement anytime I am able, just as you both have ALWAYS done with me
Love you much sis and I pray He will give you peace in this.
Cuc

[xxJILLxx]

I am angry, angry at the world. My frustration has turned into anger. It is clear I am grieving... as a caregiver i notice the signs the symptoms. I see them now, in me. I am so ANGRY and i dont know what to do with it. I try to sit and watch a movie to get my mind off of things, i try to meditate to be intruded on with these hateful, dreadful thoughts. I am bitter and i dont like any bit of being and feeling this way. It is not who I am, but the feelings and thoughts are there nontheless.


Thanks for the replies, i know you all are trying and praying... thank you. I know many dont have a clue what to say to me, but i thank them also for there silent support and prayers.

I pray he opens my eyes and relieves me of this pain and anger so i can see things more clearly. Right now i cant see past the smoke coming out of my ears. I want to sleep, to escape.

Lord help me, i am scheduled 6 days in a row at work, Give me strength, patience, and love for the residents. Help me to leave my problems at home where they belong. Wash my mind and cleanse it with love for those i am to take care of. Help me Lord not to be touchy and emotional at work. Help me Lord to stay focused at the job in front of me despite the pain and anger i feel inside. Lord take over today, i cant do it alone... i need you. Send your angels to guard my mind and my soul. Be an ever constant reminder to me to let go of the situation at home. Help me Lord to be a teamplayer and the best aide i could possibly be, I am so sorry to disappoint you from my actions and anger... i dont know what to do with them. Lord please take it from me so i can focus on the job at hand. I love you Lord, i know you love my daughter as well, protect her Lord. Open her eyes. Send your angels to encamp around her mind and soul to watch over her always. Lord watch over us all, as we are all struggling with this. Give us patience and unconditional love. Remove anger, hatred and hurt. IN Jesus name i pray ~Amen

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Amen,
Jill we love you and just as the Lord does we understand your anger and frustrations

I am so sorry to disappoint you from my actions and anger...

He is FAR from disappointed in you, He would not be disappointed in you for loving and wanting the best for your daughter.

May in the coming days at work you be blessed by one He sent to you


Cuc

[xxJILLxx]

God bless you my brother cuc , God bless us ALL

What is compassion?

*Accepting where I'm at today

*Letting go of anger, grievance or grudges

*Making no judgements of others or myself

*Unconditional love

*Relaxing heavy expectations

*Giving up the need to know why things happen

*Finding a balance between my mind and my heart


These are my goals, my eternal goals... Lord help me and lead me to attain just a glimpse of these virtues and character traits within me. Help me to grow in these areas of spiritual immaturity to a firm standing with you as my cornerstone to build with me. Lead me and guide me under your umbrella of unconditional love and peace.

Through FAITH we can see that although heartache or hurt exists in the world with Faith we will recover. Helen Keller says it like this, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Faith is a action word... I must faithe it, act upon

Lord watch over us and I humbly ask for your wisdom, love and peace.
In Jesus name
Amen
♥Jill

[realtmg]

Amen. He is God.

GBU

Real

[xxJILLxx]

The kingdom of God is within you.

Jesus was once asked when the kingdom of God would come. The kingdom of God, Jesus replied, is not something people will be able to see and point to. Then came these striking words: “Neither shall they say, Lo here! or, lo there! for, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.” (Luke 17:21)

With these words, Jesus gave voice to a teaching that is universal and timeless. Look into every great religious, spiritual, and wisdom tradition, and we find the same precept — that life’s ultimate truth, its ultimate treasure, lies within us.

As Jesus made unambiguously clear, we can experience this inner treasure — and no experience could be more valuable. “But seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness,” he declared, “and all these things shall be added unto you” (Matthew 6:33). From this interior plane of life, he is saying, we will gain all that is needful.

Look within, seek and you shall find.
Be true to thine own self.

[xxJILLxx]

I am embracing this quote today

“The most fundamental aggression to ourselves, the most fundamental harm we can do to ourselves, is to remain ignorant by not having the courage and the respect to look at ourselves honestly and gently.”
― Pema Chödrön

[xxJILLxx]

Through meditation and prayer Holy Spirit showed me that i have built up walls concerning my daughter. Walls of resentment of her decisions. Walls of blocked love towards her. Walls of uncompassion towards her. They must come down before she comes back home from summer vacation. I must start fresh and do my part to renew my relationship with her. She is the only daughter i will have and I dont want to lose her because of some differences between us. I love my daughter and my daughter needs my unconditional love in this most confusing time of her life, the teen years. She has one more year of school here and I would like it to be a peaceful and loving one from everyone in this household. Old behaviors are so easy to fall back into, it is my prayer that the mold be broken on my outlook on my daughter and see her for who God has intended her to be and realise that she is on her own journey and I must trust Him with her. I am praying for a peaceful transition back home and a peaceful and loving environment for her here in my home... her home...our family home. I must not give up on my daughter, i must do my best with whatever circumstances arise. I will not let anyone or anything taint the love i should have for my daughter as her mother.

Thank You Lord for softening my heart towards her and I pray you give me the courage and strength to be a loving and supportive parent to her and the wisdom to stay within ALL YOUR virtues. I pray you give me the backbone to choose love over law without taking away from discipline when it is needed.

It is my choice to change my outlook on my relationship with my daughter. I pray we all as a family look within and see her as He sees her.

A daughter may outgrow your lap, but she will never outgrow your heart.
-- Author Unknown

[xxJILLxx]

Much like our tired muscles after a hard day at work need a massage. So too does our mind and soul. It is important to find the target areas that are tense within and release. When doing a self examination with Him i should not let any areas be restricted from Him lest I increase tension in my daily spiritual walk. If one area is off balance in spirituality the whole spirit and mind is skewed. I may begin to see things as they are not meant to be seen. Bringing my spirituality to a reality and not a fantasy and nowhere in between, should be in my daily routine as I further my walk with Him. Focusing on those areas that need His touch that no man or woman can touch or heal. As with our tensed muscles these areas needs to be worked out, the depth of how they got there at this point will not help the healing so much as why I am not letting the Holy One touch these areas. What is holding me back? Fear? I need not fear with Him as my healer. Yes they will be tender to touch, pain will come. I must relax fully and trust His hands, if i fight it i may cause more injury which in the long run could have me develop a spiritual dis-ability.

No walls, no blockages just letting His light examine and remove my defects in character and actions to better do His will.

[xxJILLxx]

Give this simple 4-line guidance a try for 21 days, you will notice a beautiful inner transformation – from noise to stillness, from chaos to clarity.

It may seem difficult at first, but do it consistently and consciously for 3 days and it becomes much easier after that. Extend it to 7 days, and then to 21 days. Please do not kick yourself for slipping on the rules, it happens, let it go.

After some time, observe how your outer world changes, as your inner world is transformed.


1. Say what you mean. Mean what you say.

2. Don’t say to anyone unless you can say to everyone.

3. Don’t say inside, what you cannot say outside.

4. Don’t say unless it is true, useful or kind.

Be conscious of what you say and only say it if any of the following is true:
Is what I’m saying …

True to me? An authentic statement from my heart?

Useful or helpful to someone or some situation?

Kind or compassionate? Such as a compliment, or an offer of help?

[xxJILLxx]

G R O W T H


Paul wrote, “Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.” The Day of Seeing and Knowing need not be just a mythic day in the distant future beyond the end of time. I believe that on some level, to some degree, every day of our lives has the potential to be a day of seeing and knowing. If we are flowing with God, then we are coming to know ourselves. That is because God is the great “I AM.” In the Torah, when Moses asks the Mysterious Voice of the Divine to reveal His name, the Voice responds simply, “I Am That I Am.” In the Hebrew, the connotation also includes “I Was Who I Was” and “I Will Be Who I Will Be.” Contained within this phrase I AM, the name of God, is an infinity of depth of meaning. What, or who, is God? God Is! – that is who God is. So whatever is happening, and whoever is part of the story of life, is in some sense part of God. To be divine is simply To Be, because “Being” is the name of God.

Being is always changing. Being is breathing. Being expands and contracts, rises and falls, eats and expels, lives and dies. Being loves and is loved, knows and is known. Being explores itself from all angles, seeking to know itself, to love itself, to be itself in all possible ways. To Be is to be on a journey. God is on a journey, and God is the journey. And God is the goal at the end of the journey – which itself may be but a new beginning. The Spirit of Christ says in the Book of Revelation, “I AM the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”

I believe that the greatest obstacle to our spiritual growth is the belief that there is an obstacle. Let me repeat that: The greatest obstacle to our spiritual growth is the belief that there is an obstacle. The moment we envision a wall blocking our path to divine perfection is the moment we stop moving forward. It is one of the greatest tragedies of religion that the One who is supposed to be the Door through which we can approach ever closer to God has so often been portrayed as a tree at the end of the desert road, the holy obstacle beyond which there is no passing.

Religious doctrines can be like a wall that prevents us from truly getting to know the Divine, and even from knowing ourselves. But those walls of religion are only a product of the human mind. They do not really exist in the Eye of the Universe, the sublime and all-seeing vision of God. Only in the collective hallucination of society do these barriers have any substance and power.

Job 39 5-8 "Who do you think set the wild donkey free,
opened the corral gates and let him go?
I gave him the whole wilderness to roam in,
the rolling plains and wide-open places.
He laughs at his city cousins, who are harnessed and harried.
He's oblivious to the cries of teamsters.
He grazes freely through the hills,
nibbling anything that's green.


Ah grace! Freedom to move and grow through ALL His creation. I will not be boxed in by man's doctrine. Let His Spirit speak from all His creation.

Silly human as I kept my own self bound as my own choice and out of my own ignorance of WHO HE IS and who I AM in His divine plan.

Job 40 3-5 Job answered:
"I'm speechless, in awe—words fail me.
I should never have opened my mouth!
I've talked too much, way too much.
I'm ready to shut up and listen."

Lord no barriers teach thy servant thy ways.

John 4 13-14Jesus said, "Everyone who drinks this water will get thirsty again and again. Anyone who drinks the water I give will never thirst—not ever. The water I give will be an artesian spring within, gushing fountains of endless life."

Abandon all my man made beliefs that hold me back from moving forward with You. I must be empty of myself and my trying to understand so I may absorb what You teach me. Just BE and listen. Listen with my heart, my mind, the hairs on my arms, my eyes, my touch.. Using all my God given senses to listen.

♥Jill

[xxJILLxx]

And just when you think you’ve overcome one of them, up it jumps, usually in a slightly different form.

Strenghtening the voice of God within, each day a new day, a new lesson. Opening to Him.

ODAT