Pines Pages

This forum is a place where those who feel called by the Lord are able to post about any trials or victories they are going through as they serve the Lord by reaching and teaching His children. You can post and then lock your thread so no one can reply, if you so choose. Think of it as your own personal diary or journal that you choose to share with others who are called as to share ideas, experiences and tips as they too serve the Lord.

Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Sun Feb 11, 2018 7:25 am

Thank you both. You're so kind. I appreciate your affirmation that I am called. I'm so touched by your kind words. I love you both.

I am feeling much better. I had a session with my therapist. I just have to be very careful right now until my symptoms ease up.

I've felt the prayers. God has been very close. I know He is for me and not against me. I know he can heal even mental illnesses. I have hope that one day I will be strong enough to mentor others who are struggling like I am now.

God wins in the end. I'm determined to be strong so he can win now. This morning I prayed and asked God what does he want from me. I felt him say, "live." I opened my arms to him and felt so much peace. I want to live in that peace every moment of every day but I'm not sure how.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Tue Feb 13, 2018 5:14 am

Yesterday was a difficult day. I backed into a huge rock and knocked my muffler off my car. The man came out of his house and was yelling at me. I felt so stupid. How could I have done something so stupid. Then I wanted to hurt myself. I realized that was not a healthy thought and not in Gods will. Then I started calling myself names. Like idiot, ect. I realized that isn't healthy either, nor in Gods will. He doesn't want us to harm ourselves with words anymore than calling someone else harmful words. I took a few deep breathes to try to calm myself down and align myself with Gods will. I wanted to drink. I couldn't because I was driving. Plus I knew I have to overcome struggles with something else. Everyone makes mistakes. This will fade in the past just like everything else does. I'll make it through this.

Then I backed into a snow bank and broke my other muffler! I started thinking I shouldn't be driving. I probably shouldn't have been. My head was so foggy. I bought a bottle of wine and went home and drank most of it.

So I didn't make it through these struggles with out doing some things I shouldn't have done. Falling down I guess they call it. But I did better than I have in the past by stopping and seeking Gods will with my thoughts. I'm not going to beat myself up for ending the day with a bottle of wine. Well I am a little. Guilt I guess is what it is. There is next time though. Hopefully I'll do better. This has made me stronger for the next battle. Which begins today! *laughter* Another day another battle. Yet another day another blessing from God. *Clap*

We can do this through Christ who strengthens us. *Pray* God is good.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Mackenaw » Wed Feb 14, 2018 4:26 pm

Amen! His mercies are new every morning.

Hold fast to the faith The Lord has given you, and the hope that springs forth from that faith and His presence within your soul.

God bless and keep you, Piney.
Love,
Mack
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Fri Feb 16, 2018 6:48 am

Thank you Mackenaw! I love you too. <3

My mother-in-law passed away yesterday. My response was to drink. I feel such guilt today. I'm trying to not judge myself and move on. I know his grace is new every morning, but mine isn't. I have to find another way to deal with stress and strong emotions besides drinking. This is really difficult.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Mackenaw » Fri Feb 16, 2018 2:55 pm

Hello Dora (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

I pray you, Cubby and your entire family receives the comfort of The Lord that He is sending forth. He loves you all so very much. These prayers are humbly lifted up to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf. God's will be done.

As far as you drinking to drown your sorrow, you aren't the first to do so. Again, today is a new day. The Lord is right there, Piney.

I know that in the past you have read many of the studies on this site, and have been blessed by them. I encourage you to re-read the study "Renew Your Mind". It will remind you of ways to reconnect with The Lord, and some of the options open to you. Here is the link: http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... urMind.htm

Keep posting too. It is a way to express your struggles and your faith. Jesus loves you.

Prayers continue.

Love and hugs,
Mack
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Fri Feb 16, 2018 3:29 pm

Thank you Mackenaw. That really helped settle my nerves down. In therapy they call it willing hands. To open your hands and receive and accept that what happened happened and what will be will be. I often forget and end up having to be retold and retold what I need to do. Of coarse when in the middle of anxiety it's difficult to think of what to do as my mind is racing and racing.

I saw the therapist today. He told me now isn't a good time to worry about if I drink or not. That I have bigger problems to deal with. He also introduced me to a new therapist that will take me into step 2 of my healing process. I've been on step 1 for years! I always get so fearful when I meet a new therapist because they haven't gained my trust yet. I do see how God is working so diligently in my life. How can I doubt His love and grace when I see him at work, but I do. I don't know why he loves a failure like me, but he does.

I took some medication to work with me a few weeks ago so I could take it when I eat. I lost it. They are about $2.00 for each pill. I have been so disappointed in myself since then for loosing them. I searched my car top to bottom a number of times. Today I was looking for my wallet in the car. And I asked God if it's possible would he show me where the medication was. I thought maybe I dropped it outside the car and it was gone for ever. I got out of the car and looked under the driver seat, a place I've looked over and over. There was the pills! I couldn't wait to tell my husband what God had done. He's here with us in our losses and our wins.

Oh by the way. The new therapist brought up God! I was told he was a christian counselor on top of a therapist. I do feel a peace when I think about how my next step will be with a man that loves the Lord, my Lord. He's not just a man who loves a god or a higher power.

God gave me back those pills to show me he is still with me in therapy, and in the death of a loved one. In every thing big or little.

P.S. I found my wallet. It was in the shopping cart at the store. Oh my. *Doh*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Mackenaw » Sun Feb 18, 2018 4:21 pm

Hello Dora (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

God is so very Good! He truly does want what is best for us, and He is so loving and tender-hearted towards us. He cares about our needs as well as our wants, as long as those wants aren't going to destroy us.

I love that..."willing hands"! So true.

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you, Piney.
Love,
Mack
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Mon Feb 26, 2018 6:59 pm

Sorry I haven't been on here. We buried my mom-in-law. She's had diabetes since she was 9, heart disease and in the end lung cancer. She was a tuff woman. I'm doing ok with it. I miss her but the joy and peace she now feels is so much greater than my loss. Plus I get to see her again. My father-in-law could use prayer. He misses her horribly. He believes in Jesus and heaven but every day all day is lived in absence of the woman he has spent 50 years with.

Now the good news! I was at church sunday and the preacher started preaching. After about ten minutes I felt like standing up and shouting that I'd been healed! The desire to stand up and yell went away quickly but I knew God had touched me and I was healed of my mental illnesses at that moment. I felt such peace of mind. My heart didn't hurt like it has always hurt. My feelings were of joy and gladness. I could breathe deeply. There was no anxiety or depression. I felt strong. I felt like a warrior child of God! Ready and capable to defend Gods spirit by standing up for Him and appyling the scripture as He saw fit. I was just so.......satisfied. Afterward I was timid to share my faith as we come from a church that stems from Mennonite. None of that Pentecostal crap. HaHa! I got a little Pentecostal and started sharing what happened. I talked about the sermon, which was on how we all need the Holy Ghost, how it was awesome. The preacher who is Pentecostal tries to hold back because he doesn't want to divide the church more than it's already divided. BUT he could not contain himself when it came to sharing about the tabernacle and how the Israelite's looked at the tabernacle every morning to see if they were to stay or go depending on the fire or smoke. That's all beyond me but I did learn that I need to look at the tabernacle (God) every morning and ask where am I do go today. I also know I have to walk in healing. I won't always feel so powerfully suited for battle, but I must believe that He has healed me because that is what He spoke to me.

I just had to share. I'm so pumped about this. I know I'll have down times and times where I forget. But I pray I never let go of this healing. Today was not the greatest day but all day I kept looking at God and remembering my skills that I was taught in therapy. Therapy where He led me by the way. :)

It's been a good week. Momma's with Jesus, I'll be there soon, and I'm healed.

My husband said it was a good sermon but he is very upset at the elders. I wish he could let go and let God. It's stealing his joy.

Thanks all.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Mackenaw » Tue Feb 27, 2018 1:49 am

Hello Dora :)

God bless you this day.

Yes, Amen! Your mother-in-law now rests sweetly with The Lord. I lifted up prayers to The Lord in the name of Jesus on behalf of her husband. God's will be done. No doubt he is missing her physical presence immensely. May he receive the comfort The Lord is sending him. I'm glad you, Piney, have felt the comfort of The Lord.

As far as your healing...Praise God! Hallelujah!! Thank You Jesus!!!

Wow, that is so wonderful, Piney. Answer to prayer! Hallelujah! When The Lord does that thing He does, and all doubt drops away from us for that moment of time, and we experience the love, peace, joy, comfort and bliss of Him, there is nothing that compares. And even though the fragrance of that moment fades a little, it is so impactful that we know it to be Him, giving us more and more hope and our hearts' emboldened desires for Him and His glory.

James 1:17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.

Jesus loves you, Piney. Keep the fire's flame burning bright!

Thank you so much for sharing.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Mon Mar 05, 2018 4:38 am

Thank you Mack!

My life still seems to be handing me more than others it seems. My daughter was in college when a student shot and killed his parents on campus. It's a crazy world we live in. I'm so thankful we have something so much greater in store for us.

I'm still holding onto my healing though.

Love yas!
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Mackenaw » Sun Mar 18, 2018 8:02 pm

Hello Dora :)

God bless you this day.

I hope Snowy has found comfort and peace from The Lord concerning the sadness and violence at her college which took place a few weeks ago. I had heard about the shootings on the News. Very, very sad.

I'm glad to hear you continue to claim your healing. God is so very Good!

Prayers continue to rise to The Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

Love to you and your family,
Mack
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Re: Pines Pages

Postby Dora » Tue Apr 10, 2018 6:10 pm

Thank you Mack. You're so kind.

My bipolar keeps throwing me in a spin. My moods are going up and down so quickly. I never know what I will wake up feeling or struggling with. I praise God on the good days and on the bad days. I was praying as I delivered the mail. Praying for everyone I delivered to. Then all of a sudden my mind seemed to go insane. I begged him for help. I can't even explain what was happening in my mind. I asked my pastors wife if it was an attack of the devil. She told me not to give him so much credit, that our brains can do weird things from time to time. It lasted all evening. The next morning I was fine. Then a few days later it began to happen again. I know this sounds strange but I started saying my times tables. It helped me to get my brain focused on other things. It really helped. lol

My son said out loud he doesn't care about his life. This is my youngest. My daughter and oldest son have been on and off antidepressants. Now my baby is struggling. I can't help to feel like this is my fault. My husband has always been a happy guy. He struggles to be happy right now as well. I keep trying to stay positive and being praise worthy.

Thanks for listening.

God bless.
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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