Pines Pages

[Dora]

momof3

last night I had a dream. My dreams have been horrible. Things chasing me and cutting me. Last night I had a dream that seemed to last for hours that I was in this beautiful blue room. The blue was so light it was white in areas. There was a box for me to sit and rest on. It was the most peaceful place ever. No windows or doors to allow anyone in. No one could see me, touch me, or speak to me. There was a singing. Like a heavenly choir. It was so low it was almost a whisper. And a feeling of Gods presence through out. He kept guard so I didn't have to. For once in my life I was competely at peace with out having to take care of myself and keep me safe nor anyone else and no one could effect me in a negative way. I woke up with such a gentle peace over me and a smile. I felt this was really huge. Since my dreams have been so upsetting. I tell myself they are just dreams but they stick for days in the back of my mind. Haunting me through out the day and coming back at night making me not want to fall asleep. Sitting here typing I asked God to allow me to go back to that blue room. Instantly I was there in thoughts. God was there. I nearly fell asleep. So I'm going to call it a night. Night Night

[Dora]

I feel the desire with in me is beginning to take on a form. The desire is to help the people where I grew up. To share my story so they are aware there's a problem there. To help them see it's ok to talk about it. To give them direction on how to get help and where. To walk with them through the process of reporting if they need someone to. To help them understand what sex crimes are and what they can do. I've begun this one on one and I am amazed at the difference it's beginning to make. I've contacted a coalition in central MO. They do not have the funds to reach out to lower MO. Which leaves the area with out any help. The closest center for abused women is 45 minutes away. That is the closest help. And the only help. They don't even know this is available. The coalition was very happy to hear from me and we are anxious to begin a work in southern MO. Also I've begun contacting a coalition in Detroit as it's the closest to my residence, though it's 4 hours away. They are willing to help me begin to make a difference where ever I choose. My hearts desire is for my home town in MO but working here to do what I can to help the victims of this horrific crime is a mission that is exciting to me. I'm so excited, so excited, sooooooo excited!

I feel I'm up against an impossible mission. But I know God moves mountains and I really feel called to this. May His good and perfect will be done.

[Dora]

I found a friend who will ride with me to Detroit to meet with the founders of the Coalition to stop child trafficking. I'm getting nervous as the day approaches and beginning to wonder if I should go. I question if I'm doing as called or going out on my own. I ask the Lord questions and instantly hear responses that stun me as I never imagined I would be doing something that could make such a huge difference. So It makes me believe it must be Him as I would never say or even believe that I would one day fill those shoes of someone who will help in such a huge way to stop this horrible crime. So then I begin to doubt that it was even His voice I heard. I feel His spirit swirl about me with excitement of what we will accomplish together. I heard things such as, "A willing vessel." Yes Lord I am so ready and willing that I can't sleep! The excitement of stepping out and speaking up makes my spirit soar with freedom and joy. Finally I feel like I'm about to begin what I was created for. I have never felt this way in my life! I lay awake at night thinking and planning. Not sleepy at all with joy flowing out of my heart and peace with in my spirit. There is nothing in this world that could bring such a feeling unless it was God right???? I wonder could this be why I was allowed to suffer so much as child. So that I could and would serve Him by coming against such strong and evil forces with out fear of harm or danger. I have spoken to a few people about my plans and I found I speak with such excitement and strength. Normally I am quiet and ponder and stutter and talk quickly so not to take to much of peoples time. So I feel I'm not one people enjoy talking to. When I talk about child trafficking, and how to stop it I feel I'm a totally different person. I feel so good inside about me and what I'm doing and I feel strong and brave. I don't care if someone doesn't want to hear, I talk anyway. I can cause them to want to know more. I see them begin to care and begin to want to do something. I see them go from feeling they can do nothing to beginning to see what they can do. I have sparked interest in 4 others in this short time to become child advocates against child trafficking. And others who are interested in learning more how to be aware. I really really really feel this is the walk I am to take. I pray I'm not wrong and that if I am He will guide me back to the path that I'm suppose to be on.

Please pray for me. Thursday morning I leave for the long trip to Detroit. I'm not one for travel, for driving, or for finding my way around small cities let alone such huge cities as Detroit.

Thank you for listening. Love you all.

[Mackenaw]

(((((((hugs)))))))

Prayers are rising for you, Piney -- prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus. May God's blessed will be done.

I love you, Piney.
God bless and keep you,
Mack

[Dora]

Thank you Mack

Unofficially I have a new name.

Northern Michigan Rescue and Restore Coalition.

Working to educate citizens and organizations about Child trafficking in all it's ugly forms. As well as to support the victims through directing them to resources that are already available for them.

I am so thrilled!!!! I feel like that hole with in me that continually beckoned to me that I was not doing what I was created to do has been filled! To what level the Lord will take this? I have a feeling it just doesn't stop here. I feel like Moses rescuing Gods people. I have been referred to as a Moses even today. Being in Gods will and doing fearlessly what He longs for me to do is the most freeing feeling ever!

[Dora]

I wanted to show you what the Lord has done.

He is so amazing.

There is a woman in my community that has shared for years with me her concerns for her nieces. She reported her niece for child abuse a few times. The mother left the state in my opinion to avoid CPS.

Yesterday this aunt, with out knowing my new mission to combat child trafficking, told me the mother shared with her that she was thinking of selling one of her daughters. It was completely a divine moment. I was able to pull out of my purse a card that had the National Human Trafficking hotline number on it, shared with her what will happen when she calls and what child trafficking looks like.

It was a struggle for me the rest of the day to know these precious babies are in danger. These particular little girls are the reason I got my foster care license as long ago I had sensed something was wrong in the household but there was no evidence. Some of the things I have to read and watch in training is very triggering to me. I could overcome easier but I just keep studying all day and long into the evening. I fear I'm obsessing. So today I've begun asking God before I make a phone call, open a web page, begin to read or watch training pages or videos. His will be done.

[Christnundrconstruxn]

Hi Pine, I pray you know you that your friendship is VERY important to me as you are one that was ALWAYs there for me through the trials.
I pray all is well with you and your family, I am so happy you have been chosen to fight for these poor children.
I only worry that you may be consumed by the pain and hurt of these children, I pray the Lord gives you the strength to do as needed for them but allow you to do so without much stress on you and your life as well as your family.
I from knowing what I know of you here don't think God could choose a better person to fight for them.
May God bless you through this as well as all other parts of your life
And may I wish you and yours a VERY merry CHRISTmas
Cuc

[Dora]

Thank you brother CUC. You mean so much to me as well.

I am consumed by the pain of the children. But I was consumed before I began this journey and that's what fueled me to begin this. Learning to allow God to lead and let Him carry the pain will be a must.

[Dora]

Every come up with an exciting plan? An excitement that makes life feel so worth living!

Then share that potential plan in hopes that someone whom you expect to be more knowledgeable will understand and help you make it happen even if that "help" comes in the form of arraigning their plans so yours doesn't get in their way.

Then with in two minutes of talking to that someone you're complete defeated and the air in your sails has been stolen.

[Dora]

This has been the most exhausting work!

The fighting drains me.

Human kind as a whole tends to jump quickly to the perpetrators side.

Last week I approached the elders of my church with questions on how would they deal with certain situations. So often when a person is abusing another the church feels they should confront as we are told to confront a brother who is sinning. What they don't understand is if they confront an abusing spouse or parent they abuser will lie and then will beat their family worse that night to punish them and try to keep them from ever letting someone find out again. Churches need to stop confronting abusers and begin to report abuse to the authorities!!! I was able to help open the eyes of the elders and pastors in my church and they are very willing to bring in a police officer, psychologist, and meet with us to help them learn how to handle these events better.

Then just 5 days later it happened. It was revealed to me that an overseer of the church was involved in a huge cover up with the help of the school principals, attorneys, police chief, and sheriff. A little girl was raped by this mans son. The dad completely denies it despite that the boy admitted to it in court. The boy got a slap on the hand and showed no remorse for his actions. The church jumped to believing the dad and trying to stay neutral because they don't know all the facts. This man is a representative of the church! The church is telling the victim, her family, and the community they support him by allowing him to continue as an overseer.

Today was the day to inform the elders and pastors of how the community perceives the church because they are allowing this man to continue.

There were moments they jumped to protecting the bad guy. But in the end they decided he would not only be removed but questioned. If the dad refused to repent and is unwilling to bring to light the horrible cover up that is ripping the community apart he will not be allowed to oversee anything with in the church.

Part of my mission is to bridge the gap between the community and the police. What the chief of police did and what the sheriff did just ripped that gap wide open and it may take a mountain mover to repair it. How can I possibly bring the community and the law officials together if they abuse the power behind their uniform. It is so utterly frustrating and disheartening. Lots of lost sleep over this.

This morning I woke to a vision of a huge dragon hanging over America. I knew immediately it was the dragon I am warring against. And I was reminded of His words that He has so very often spoken to me over the months, "I promised you victory."

I'm beginning to realize how my community cares about me. The mother of this young victim is the nicest person I've met in this area. The community is outraged at what happened to her. She had joined with me in bringing to the public knowledge of human trafficking. I wonder, just wonder, did God choose us because we know the pain. Did he choose us and give the two of us the favor of the community for such a thing as this? Is it possible that God has delivered into the hands of two meek women this dragon that is controlling the nation.

I know it must be His work by the way I conquered one mission which was to inform the church elders and pastors of how to deal with victims with out victimizing them. Then with in a week have such a huge community wide situation surface.

P.S. After all this talk of what to do in situations it was brought up how the pastor took my dads gun away when he was attempting to murder a man. I was using that as an example that there is a time he needs to stay out of things and let the police deal with it. But instead he tried to protect my dad from jail by handling it himself. Today the pastor said he didn't handle it right but he doesn't know what to do. I was Like ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! You CALL THE POLICE!!! Why don't they get it? He didn't do me any favor by not reporting. I guess this is just a sign that there is extensive training needed to be done with in the church and community as to when to call.

[dema]

You are so strong. I am amazed at your strength. God surely works through you. Hugs.

[Dora]

It has been a horrendous week. The worst was the disappearance of my sister who was living in the residence of the horrible uncle. I suspected one day she would come up missing. She has been found, alive. Not sure what condition she is in after being with him for months. To talking to victims for the Coalition only to have them blame themselves and completely be in denial of the perpetrator having been wrong. Frustrating. To the community being in complete denial that this happens and if it does they don't want to know about it. They like to think they live in a perfectly safe world. As well as the Sheriff treating me horribly. It was the first time since I began this quest that I was unable to contain my tears. Not with him. I stood strong and fought to be heard and questioned his words directly with boldness despite how I felt like crumbling inside. It was with the prosecuting attorneys office when I shared the mistreatment that I couldn't contain my tears. But my tears were heard! At least I got someone to attempt to have the prosecutor contact me. Though he never did. How can I encourage others to report when I am treated this way! I'm not giving up. I have a lot to say and will be heard one day. Perhaps it is just not time.

All of this has left me feeling a loss of hope. It is as if everything I heard was either wrong or as if God was just joking with me. I don't know why I keep fighting. Why don't I just give up. Then I think of maybe perhaps one day I will be heard and one little girl may be saved from what I went through.