Thank you for your encouragement CUC. I have come back to read that a few times.
God promised me victory.
He has now shown me He longs for victory even more than I do.
If anything comes of this trial I claim it a miracle from God.
Why would he not want victory? He uses the weak, the small, the frail, the confused, the unlearned. Why would He not want to use me? Why would He not want to use me to get victory over evil? I think He'll receive glory in all this. I'm still scared. But bravery doesn't mean being free from fear. And I must do as I feel called in my heart to do. I'm anxiously awaiting to see what He is going to do.
Then David put his hand in his bag and took out a stone; and he slung it and struck the Philistine in his forehead, so that the stone sank into his forehead, and he fell on his face to the earth.( 1 Samuel 17:49 *NKJV )
Fear not, for I am with you; Be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, Yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. ( Isaiah 41:10 )
After all it is written that; He gives power to the weak, And to those who have no might He increases strength...That is of course when; We walk by faith, not by sight. ( 2 Corinthians 5:7 )
For assuredly, I say to you, if you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for you. ( Matthew 17:20 )
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. ( Ephesians 6:10 )