God bless you this day.
I want to share something The Lord taught me, and I hope it will help you. I used to be a control freak. I say "used to be" because He has taught me and continues to teach and lead me into giving it to Him. Ahhhhhhhhh, God is so Good.
I could get overly descriptive in describing how control freakish I was -- you know, the ole "and it was the worst case of the condition 'control freak' that was ever known to man" type of thing.
Well, you know what He showed me? I was still being a control freak, because part of the condition of "control freak" had me talk about it, exaggerate it, romanticize it and write about -- as if writing an ode or poetry to it. So, in reality, by continuing to talk about it, I walked in it, a.k.a. I was still maintaining control, instead of giving it to Him.
A time or two, I remember asking one of my sisters to help me, and whenever she saw me being overly "controlling" to gently remind me. Guess what? it ticked me off when she would remind me. Why? because a control freak wants to be in control. Eeeeuuuwwwwww!!!
As you suggested, there are, indeed, steps to it. One step at a time, with Him.
Step 1: Pray and BELIEVE The Lord is helping you, and when you ask one of your kids (or whomever) to take out the trash (or whatever), let them do it.
Step 2: Pray some more and BELIEVE The Lord is helping you.
Step 3: Repeat steps 1 and 2.
Prayers are rising for you, Piney. May God's blessed will be done.
God bless and keep you.