Re: Pines Pages
Posted: Mon Jun 26, 2017 6:45 pm
I have therapy tomorrow and have decided I need to accomplish some of the paperwork that goes along with the therapy. Only I have anxiety over it so I avoid it. I causes me to look back into my life a bit. The mission of the paperwork is to help me understand what triggers me to s.h. Often I don't know why because my mind goes so strongly into the thought of how I need to s.h. It's been about 6 weeks since the last incident. I made some mistakes at work and there I went struggling with thoughts of hurting myself. It seems so weird. I don't understand it. Except there's a serotonin boost when you feel pain. I think what it comes down to is self loathing. Dad made sure I new I was lower than a worm. Seriously that was his words. I know he wishes he could take it back but it's a process getting it out of my head. I often turn to thoughts on how God loves me and sees me. Sometimes it's easier than others.
It appears to me the closer we get to the end times the more issues I struggle with.
It appears to me the closer we get to the end times the more issues I struggle with.