Can't believe how empty my life is....

[Faithandlove]

You would think that for someone who is a sold out believer for Jesus Christ, have walked with God for many years, have overcome adversities that even I didn't think was possible, giving to a fault, caring and loving, that life would by now, have dealt me a better set of cards!?!? And yet, I sit here at my computer, confused, dazed, afraid and doubtful. Just so unsure about so many things. I love God with all of my heart and faithfully serve Him. But I can't help but to think, that He thinks that I'm nothing but a big failure to Him. Because of my many tests and trials, that I keep failing and have to retake over and over again, I can't help but wonder if I'm being punished for something(s). I try and try and try and yet, I seem to be getting NOWHERE. I should be stronger in the faith and more in control of myself, but........I'm not. Just the other day, in a moment of weakness, I blurted out some strong words about a dear good friend and now, I probably don't even have that friend any more. Oh, I apologized and asked for forgiveness, but as of yet, I have heard nothing back from this friend. And this is what I'm taking about. I shouldn't be on this level. I should be much higher. But because I'm not, I can't help but to think that God is mad at me and until I can get myself under some kind of control, there will be no higher level and I will just have to suffer the consequences of my sins without any help from Him. And that scares me to death!!!! I need Him. And sometimes I think, He lets me go through all that stuff, to teach me a lesson. When I think that He won't hear or help me when I pray, sometimes, I don't pray. Because I think that since He is allowing this to happen, then He isn't going to help me. And then, I'm scared all over again to think that I'm on my own.

I faithfully serve a God who I know to be love. I want and need His love and I don't know how to get it. If I wasn't such a big disappointment to Him........... I don't know. I'm mentally and physically exhausted from just trying to get all of this into some kind of perspective and then to hold it all together.............

..............I feel, I am losing the battle..............

[Faithandlove]

Ok, it is a new day and I am still reaping the 'benefits' of the past days. It hurts, bad. I am not sure if I needed to see what God wanted me to see in this (I do have some insight), but if I fail this test this time, I don't know if I will be able to pass it next time.

I get so confused about what I'm supposed to do and what I need to do for God. Sometimes, I don't do anything. I can't seem to get my mind wrapped around the full text of what I need to do for Him instead of what I'm doing for HIm. Because I think right now, what I'm doing is making a mess of things, that I don't know if He will clean up.

[Faithandlove]

Ok, I had a breakthrough today and I am feeling much better. I still have some concerns, but thanks to all of the wonderful people on here who reached out to me in my time of need, with some of the best advice possible, I will have the strength to carry on. When you have people who are standing with you in the faith and helping you along, it's priceless. I have made some new friends on here and you all have me just amazed at the outpouring of love. I am so touched with all of the support that I have received in the last few days, that I just had to publically say just how wonderful you have been.

A BIG 'THANK YOU' to all of the workers of God on this site who give of themselves so freely to care for the sakes of others.

God Bless

[Faithandlove]

I woke up today with an uneasiness in my spirit, and I don't know why. Hmmm, must be something in the air? I think what I need to do is focus my attention on something/someone else and God and maybe then the answer will be revealed to me why I feel this way?

[Faithandlove]

Ok. I have had this unsettling in my spirit all day. I don't know if I'm missing something that God is trying to tell/show me, or if it's just me? I have been praying and reading my bible off and on and listening to one of my favorite ministers' online. The message was great and I did reap from it, but yet, I can't seem to shake this feeling that something is amiss! I don't know if it's something I did/am doing wrong? Or something I said/am not saying? I just don't know. And it's really bothering me. I think I will stand still a little longer and wait on God to see if it's something that I'm failing to do/see/say.

[Faithandlove]

Satan is really on the warpath. It's been a few days now and I still can't shake this feeling of doom and gloom. I don't know what's laying ahead and yet, I feel fearful. I'm worried. I know that what I'm feeling isn't of God, I know that. And I know that God will work things out, but for now, all I see is the enemy speading himself wide. Like all over the place as it says in Job. My head hurts from trying to figure this all out.

[Faithandlove]

I'm losing it!!!!! I'm so scared. The fear of the future and what could happen at any moment..........I can't eat, I can't sleep.

Please, God, help me to just put my trust in you, to stand strong and to keep my eyes, focused on you. Please hold my hand, tight, and don't let go.

Amen.

[Faithandlove]

These past few days, I have been really negative. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I have come to the conclustion that, God is in control. I have realized that the trials and testings that I am going through, God has allowed. And He is the author and finisher of my faith. Not only will He bring this to pass, but He is the one in control of its' passing. The only thing that I need to do is to wait on Him and watch Him bring it to pass as only He can. I feel so foolish for not letting God take the wheel. The way the problem stands now, I wouldn't have been able to solve it anyway.

Father, forgive me. I'm so sorry.

So now, I am going to unlock this thread. I think I can handle whatever posts (good or bad) that may come my way.

I'm ready: Hi everyone!

[realtmg]

GRACE!

We all fall short.
Today is a new day.
Yesterday is gone.
God loves you even though you feel you have failed Him.
May God's peace be manifested tomorrow.
It happens to all of us.
Do NOT dwell in the past!

GBU

Real

[Faithandlove]

God bless you, brother.

I don't know what I need to do. Like I don't know why I can't just shake this feeling. I know that what I'm feeling isn't of God, and yet, I don't know how to get over it. Satan is nagging at my heels and screaming in my ears that things aren't going to work out for me. That God isn't going to help me. That I'm just going to have to deal with the consequences of my deceptive mistake. I have been doing everything I know how to not listen to the voice of doom, but it's still there.

Today, I am going to try to reach out more, just to get my mind off of my circumstances. In the past, this has really helped.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Faithandlove

God bless you this day.

I hope the following scriptures help you.

Psalm 103:10-11 He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our iniquities. (11) For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward them that fear Him.

The Lord loves you, and He always has your best interest at heart. We do have an advocate in Jesus, and He knows the temptations of this life, and He is continues to extend His mercy and grace to you.

Hebrews 12:9-13
(9) Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence; shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
(10) For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but He for our profit, that we might be partakers of His holiness.
(11) Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward righteousness unto them which are exercised (trained) thereby.
(12) Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees;
(13) And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way (His way); but let it rather be healed.

Faithandlove, Jesus loves you. The enemy may be nipping at your heals, but The Lord is right there loving you, and He will prevail. Trust Him.

I'm sending up prayers to our Lord in the name of Jesus, on your behalf. May God's blessed and perfect will be done.

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[Faithandlove]

God bless you, sister. Yes, these scriptures have really helped me. I feel so guilty about needing all of this help. But I sure am thankful that you and all the rest are here to help me.

God bless.