A Big Struggle

[God_Loves_All]

What I’m about to mention below is about a big struggle that was in my life, that to this day is still in my thoughts.

The thing that I struggled with in my life was cross dressing (so it’s about my life dealing with it & also covers some facts that I’ve learnt) and as I said it can still be a that is in my mind even though now having 20 plus years I have stopped doing.

Though some people throughout this world may think this cross dressing is an innocent thing, from experience I know that it isn’t. Yes it might start of as something that mostly men could be curious about at any age, but mostly while at a younger age, but the problem is it can led from being innocent to an sexual addiction, especially if it’s something that you grew up with.

For me cross dressing did begin as an innocent thing, just wanting to try on/wear clothes that were my mum’s, but through the years it began more of a sexual pleasure & also a need.

This need/desire/interest/urge (whatever you want to or may call it) started for me when I was 11. One day I noticed an old dress laying on top of something’s on 1 side of my mum’s bedroom & for whatever reason (to this day I still don’t know & I tried to figure it out) I wanted to try it on. I do remember getting the chance to try it on (I think it was doing a dress up thing at home) & after awhile I remember wanting to try on a dress that my mum wore at the time & it was from that moment the desire/urge/need/interest was strong in me.

After realising recently that this temptation to cross dress, I realised why the constant thoughts & taking things of my mum’s came from. Though I didn’t know much better, but the feelings I felt when I got the chance to dress up, I know that I knew better when I was growing up especially when I was in my twenties.

Though I could easily blame the Devil/Satan for tempting me with this, I know that since I did become a Christian about 2 years after I started cross dressing & especially after a bad situation happened evolving the whole situation, it didn’t change my outlook to it until recently.

I don’t if I had any background situations in my life that made be chose to cross dress as long as I did. Maybe it had to deal with being in single parent home after my father left my mum, maybe it has to deal with not ever having a girlfriend, but then again while it was in my life not ever having a girlfriend was God’s plan for my life (but I’m only guessing that 1), whatever the reason was I’m not going to play the blame game anymore I’m just going to grow from it instead.

Now the reason why I decided to stop cross dressing, was mainly thanks to God. I realised that if I wanted to be a stronger person for God that I needed to stop cross dressing & that I had to stop relying just on myself to deal with it (because I tried that before).

I don’t know if there will be any men that currently cross dress will be reading this or not, but I need to mention this.

Among cross dressers there is a prevailing theme that cross dressing is a reflection of “who they are.” Some even believe that they were born with a female soul trapped in a male body. But while there are those that believe that, I believe that God didn’t make a mistake & though cross dressing as come a part of who I once was & others still do, we weren’t born that way. That statement can also be for those that are homosexual.
______________________________________
I now believe that cross dressing is sinful, those that cross-dress weren’t born as females, but as males so what we do must come from Satan/the Devil. Satan does this so we can move further away from God and the love that God actually as for all of us within this world.

Like many things of this world Satan/the Devil likes to deceive us by thinking that we actually need that thing (whatever it is) in our lives, but the truth is that actually if we try to live without it we find out that we don’t need it (I know this from experience). For those of us that are Christians throughout this world we know that we can rely on God to help, support & love us through everything that we battle.

I do know that for me, cross-dressing was hard to stop doing. I once wished that I stop after I told a Christian female friend (at the time) about it & she basically told me that it was something that I should stop doing & when I look at it now (I guess) that she was trying to help me by talking to 1 of my best Christian friends about it thinking that he knew & he eventually talked to me about it. Through this whole situation I lost one of the best things that I was involved with within my church. After that I did try to stop, but the thoughts of cross dressing was continuously in head that I ended up starting again.

Stopping cross dressing is not an easy thing to do, I know from experience. I know now that I don’t want to go back into that habit.

If there’s anything that I have learnt from this is that if we get sick of something that is in our lives we should never raise the white flag on it has it’s what Satan wants from us. Also I have learnt that we especially Christian’s need to be careful who we seek help through, especially if they say things like, you can’t overcome it or (in my case) if you feel comfortable about it then there’s no harm with it.

To all Christians that read this, I don’t know if this is any help to any of you, but you all need to realise that you can encourage family & friends through their battles if you are willing to try, even if that is through prayer. Yes it be hard work at times (especially if you have never had to deal with it), but sometimes they just need someone to talk to about their struggles. I totally benefit from that, I have 2 wonderful close friends that I regularly see & they always encourage me with everything that I go through, especially with the struggles that I can still have with cross dressing

As I continually walk with God I know that he is constantly there for me & I also know that if I can’t find a solution to the thoughts that I have the Christian friends that know about it that I can txt or e-mail at anytime.

[dema]

There are many things I do not understand. I do feel it was very wrong for your church people to condemn you or to keep you from your previous activities. Romans 2:1 is very clear about not judging, and that includes judging for sexual things. Helping you would not have involved restricting your church activities.

It sounds like you could have had gender identitity issues. Providing you with a male mentor might have been something positive the church could have done. You being able to stop may have been because you were taught about men. And how to be one. It seems logical that if you were never taught how to be a man, but you had a strong woman parent, that it might be more comfortable to pretend to be what you knew instead of learning to be what you are but did not know.

I wish more Christians would learn to just look at the issue and then to love the person through healing rather than to mark them and get all hotsy totsy about it.

None of us are good enough. Not one. We have no right to spotlight certain sinful habits while excusing our own. We should love and help each other in ALL things.

God bless you. Thanks for sharing.

[God_Loves_All]

Whatever the decisions that came from the church eldership happened. Yes 1 may call it judging, but I guess at the same time being that I was a young group leader, I needed to a role model.

I might of had a gender identity issue, but even though my father wasn't around, didn't mean that I didn't have male mentors. In some ways I did still know how to be a man, cross dressing for me was more of a part time thing, when I felt the need to dress up

I agree it should be about loving the person & not thinking about the sinful things that they might do. It's up to God to judge us all, but while we are still on this planet, we need to once in a while if not more be accountable of looking after fellow believers.

[xxJILLxx]

Hello God's soldier,

Welcome to Oasis!

I am moved by your testimony and praise God for what He has helped you overcome thus far! Hallelujah! No matter what the "issue" is that us individuals have... we all have our own "issues", isn't that right?

In your post as i read, i see a strong man that holds himself accountable for his own actions, not making excuses for them. I see alot of honesty and yearning to help others who may be troubled with similar issues. No matter what the reasons behind that behavior, the main thing is that through Him, you are overcoming!

It's up to God to judge us all, but while we are still on this planet, we need to once in a while if not more be accountable of looking after fellow believers.

amen brother!

I look forward to seeing you around. Have a safe Holiday and blessed New year.

God bless n keep you
♥Jill

[Gods_Maiden]

Kepp it up God's Solider, I hope that maybe 1 day my brother can follow in ur footsteps & just always remember as a Christian u r not alone in what the Devil can do to all Christians

[AKingsKid]

That is a beautiful testomony and I appreciate what you had to say! Thank You and God Bless!!

To God Be The Glory.....

[tdub]

To AKingsKid, I am new to this website and just read about your battle. Everyone around us have issues of sin. One of my battles throughout my life is a sexual perversion similar to your battle. I would like to share four verses that the Lord has written into my heart.
for faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God. Romans 10:17
for the word of God is living and powerful sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even unto the division of soul and spirit and of joints and marrow and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12
Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Romans 12:2
Jesus tells us..."This is my commandment, you are to love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this than to lay down one's life for his friends. John 15:12,13

When I ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7) while I read the truth about who God is, who I am, and why I need Him so much that is found in His word, I am strengthened.

The root of my sin is selfishness, no matter what the sin may be. Jesus in John 15:13 is saying that He did the most unselfish thing possible. So when I am tempted, or urged, or give thought to my sexual sin, I praise the Lord that He is with me in my battle of selfishness.

Thank you brother for your candid confession,
In the perfect bonding love of Jesus,
tdub (a grandpa in Christ)

[tdub]

Sorry I just noticed that I addressed my message to a responder to your posting,
you are not AKingsKid, you are God_Loves_All, as I said I am new, Ha!