Renewed Mind, Renewed Life

[lyl1114]

Tonight, I sit in front of my computer with the same uneasiness inside as the beginning of my journey here on oasis...

Trying very hard to weed out all the negative things in my mind. I keep telling myself of all the positives. But it isn't enough today. I try to keep my focus on Jesus...but my mind seemed to have lost the way to Him...

When my husband is not at ease, I feel that much more NOT at ease. Financial burden hasn't been lifted...I hope and pray that it will but it hasn't. About a month and a half ago, we thought there was going to be a change in my husband's job...working with another company with better...everything. But things have changed and we just don't know where God is leading. To earn some money, my husband occasionally plays poker. Many would argue poker isn't gambling. I beg to differ. This is one of his favorite hobby, which turned into his second job. Things are good at times and things are bad at others. He is a responsible player but at the same time, I don't find peace in it. And I am guilty of relying on that as well. I tried talking to him today so he can have some hope because right now he is so devastated and so beaten down with life. I would mention that He should seek God more but he would just get angry, asking HOW he is supposed to do that exactly. I don't know either. He believes but his faith has dimmed. I mentioned this site but he isn't really up to it. I DON'T want to force him.
I have been battling a lot in my mind. I guess tomorrow being my birthday has something to do with it as well. It will be the worst one ever. I know I shouldn't complain nor compare...but really, I just can't control it. I keep fighting it but I can't seem to believe the things I am telling myself. With nothing in our bank account, I am at loss of what to do...God has been providing manna for us up to now, just enough. It is still stressful. And I sure don't want to be like the ungrateful Israelites. I know I should trust but all I feel is sadness. I KNOW I don't deserve anything. I am not angry at God but I am just totally beaten down.
I've been through this already soooooooooooooo many times and I know what I should do. But I can't help but feel so down. I wish my husband would be more of a spiritual leader and assure me with God's words that things will be ok. I am tired too.

I know God wants us to trust in Him but each decision making and living each day, I cannot seem do to it nor know what to do. I have moments when I am confident but lately, I am losing every confidence.

I ask for your prayers that I can still my heart and hear God...

[jimf]

I edited this post, I was responding to your first post and did not feel my post was right for your last post. Threads seem to give me trouble, Praying for you Jimf

[lyl1114]

I started the day with a lot of crying. Just let it all out...

And the verse that came to mind today was...
2 corinthians 12:9
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness."

Lord, teach me and help me deny myself and look to You. I am so weak but once again I put my faith in You.

[jimf]

lyl1114, I'm praying for you and your family. Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you (lyl1114),” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you (lyl1114) and not to harm you (lyl1114), plans to give you (lyly1114) hope and (lyl1114) a future. CAN YOU TRUST HIM WITH YOUR LIFE AND FINANCES ? Trials are difficult, but there always seems to be something great at the end of them, Hang in there. Jimf (Hope I posted this in the right place)

[Jedidiah]

Hello Lyl1114
I offer this prayerfully. When I have experienced the deepest suffering, those are the times that I have encountered the sweetest comforting from the Gentle Shepherd.
He does not carry the sheep that is full of joyous bounce, but He carries those who are wounded, weary and distressed.
I offer you two thoughts from my writings that may help you, from a little book I call Honey in the Morning ...
“The God of all comfort.” 2 Cor 1:3.
Five words that speak such tenderness.
A description in a nutshell, that gives a touching definition of God. He comforts us in all our tribulation. The word translated “comfort” here, is the word “Paraklesis” He says in essence here, “The God who stands beside us, the one who holds us close in all our tribulations.” It has in mind compassion. Consolation. Encouragement and strength. How often, when in torment of soul, have we not drawn aside and felt His Blest Presence, sweep us as it were, into His arms, and hold us close to His breast?
I knelt down in torment; ~ My soul torn apart ~
Distressed by my trial ~ Rending my heart ~
My spirit was weeping, ~ And groaning I prayed ~
“Lord Jesus, Please hear me and come to my aid,”
His arms swept around me ~
Drew me close to His Breast, ~
And there in sweet safety, My spirit found rest!
Whatever your need, whatever your trial, He is the God of all comfort!
So....
“Count it all joy…”
“Beloved think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you: But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when His glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy.” 1 Peter 4:12, 13.
I love that word “Beloved”. It speaks of such favour. It speaks of something so special, precious and cherished. Something valued. To be safeguarded and looked after. No wonder He goes to such lengths to perfect us who are to Him “Beloved”.

He chooses the choicest, and refines the finest.
He puts the most precious through the hottest flame,
Those who are worth the most,
He makes them more perfect,
For Himself, For His glory, For His Holy name.

So count it all joy, Yea, count it a privilege,
And count it sweet honour, not shame,
When called to deep suffering, Remember He’s with you,
He won’t leave you alone in your anguish and pain.

Facing the fire as you’re put through the furnace,
And passing the test He has planned.
In the end you will carry the seal of your Maker,
The beautiful imprint of His nail scarred hand.

“The Lord knows them that are His…” 2Tim 2:19
By the way don't feel bad if this comforts you today, and next week you need a little comfort again, when you fall and graze your knee you need a little ointment and a plaster, and if you fall and graze your knee a week later, a little ointment and plaster is needed again.
Blessings Jedidiah.

[lyl1114]

today was a tough day....lots of storms in my mind.. It was one of those days you don't want to wake up...closed my eyes shut and refused to open them...
last week I felt such overwheling peace and joy in the midst of my trials, that things of this world was not that important. That I keep my eyes on God, it is okay.
but having to deal with my problems at hand, I became so anxious and full of worries. I still just don't know how we are going to make ends meet. But at the end of the day, my heart is at peace again knowing my current trials are teaching me to be content and happy in God, whatever the situation it may be. So tonight I mediate on God and His goodness...

"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11

[lyl1114]

Learning to be content in all and every circumstance is tough.
Tonight I learned that my father, who I don't see often...has been having chest pains. A bone is protruding from his chest or a tumor is growing in his chest. He has no money to even go see a doctor or take a x-ray. He is still living with his sister, without a real job, chasing his dream to make it big through a very unrealistic "work"...he has lost his home, his family...yet he is still obsessed with this "work". Don't know how he is eating or how he is doing. I don't want him to affect my life. But he does. My heart aches for the pitiful life he has chosen for himself. Now with his health issues and unable to go see a doctor, I am in distress. My sister tells me God wants us to pray. This time for him. He hasn't gone to church in a little over half a decade...and he is an church elder. He NEEDS to go to God. He says he is right with God yet his life shows no sign of it. He will listen to or take advice from NO ONE...absolutely NO ONE. So I need to pray to God for him yet I don't know what to pray.
I still should have compassion for my father, right? Even though he affects my own life, which sometimes or most of the time affect my own family?

Lord, I am really lost as to what You want from me or what I am supposed to do....
Renewing my mind for a renewed life...

[Maverick_Reborn]

When we pray, most of the time, we do not know the right words to speak. The Holy Spirit intervenes and speaks to God for your spirit. Being in flesh, sometimes we can only pray for temporal things, which do not help in situations like these. Love your father, anf respect him as a father. He may intrude sometimes, but in the Eyes of God, we are all Children. Your father is just a lost Child, that needs God to guide him.

[Shan]

Hi I'm very new here.

There are somethings your saying that is exactly my life. I would like to guide you to this article I found. I have been studying it daily. It seems your a little like me in not having set boundaries in your life. Try this out, it has blessed me greatly and I've barely begun. It will change your life if you let it.

God bless,
Shan

http://www.cs.uni-potsdam.de/ti/kreitz/ ... 0000000000

[lyl1114]

It has been awhile since I was here....so glad to be back. Just want to say God is good...
A lot has happened since I was here last. Many things changed and must say Hallejuah!! A wise mentor here told me that God wants us to flex and use our faith muscles so we will grow. I see that I have grown a lot and that I am still growing. My faith in our loving Father has grown and in Him I find peace. Life is still not and never will be perfect but with a renewed mind, things are soooooo much better, hopeful, peaceful. At this moment, I am grateful. For all the hardships that made and continues to make me who I am and molding into who God made me to be. Praying that I will keep on this path and keep my focus on Him.
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well."
Matthew 6:33
Praying to God for you, my oasis brothers and sisters, who are seeking. May He bless you all richly.

[dema]

Praise the Lord! Thank you for letting us know. I have found that sometimes it takes a lot to get us to really release. But we learn so much in the process - at least for a little while. . I hope that you are a quick learner and are mightily blessed. Hugs.

[lyl1114]

So...what is it that I have done for God lately??
Solomon in all his wealth and riches, didn't just build himself a palace but he also built the Almighty God a beautiful temple. He gave all of his best to make the temple. I am challenged tonight as I think of what I can do for Him. Of course He doesn't need my things.
He is always giving His best to me. I have been selfish...always asking and always taking.
Holy Spirit, thank you for convicting my heart tonight. Help me to give my best to You, God, using the gifts you have blessed me with. Amen.