9 years of near perfect, then all of a sudden

[JasonC]

Me and my wife have been together for 9 yrs. 6 married. I use to pray to God every night and thank him for my awesome marriage, and to continue to bless us. But about 3 months ago, it just feel apart. We cant stop bickering. We are so far apart now. She has a new best friend now.(female). She took my spot.
At one point last year we were looking a church and finally found one we both like. She got to the point where she was ready to join and change her life, but I wasnt quiet there yet. We went 2 months with no church. Now Im wanting to get there and she isnt wanting to. The last couple months have made me see that we need God in our marriage. I got her to go to church with me this past Sunday, and the preacher preached on marriage. She said it touched her some, but she still isnt ready. So how can I get her to take this journey with me without pushing her away. Its hard not to get frustrated. I see it like this, she agrees this would help but yet she isnt ready. Seems like to me she would be willing to do anything to fix our problem. I pray everynight, we still have date nights but still.

[Mackenaw]

Hello Jason

God bless you this day, and welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I am glad to hear that your heart is softening and that you are desiring to respond to God's call. Your wife also felt that call from The Lord a few months back. You both have been "feeling" the call of God, and like most of us, you and she hesitated. Please know, however, that God is still calling you, and He is still calling her -- she just needs to hear or "feel" it for herself. Have faith, Jason, that The Lord knows exactly how to call your wife unto Himself. He loves her more than you do, because God is Love.

For right now, you can start by getting to know The Lord: God The Father, God The Son and God The Holy Spirit. He has much to share with you. I encourage you to begin a 14 Day Study on this site, called CCCC which stands for COOL Confidential Christian Counseling. It take about 1/2 an hour per day for 14 days. This Study has helped hundreds of people, myself included, in seeking The Lord and in getting into HIs Word...The Bible.

Jesus loves you, JasonC, and Jesus loves your wife.

Hope to see you around the site, JasonC.

God bless and keep you.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack

[JasonC]

Thanks will do

[grandma dolittle]

Jason,
You cannot fix your marriage, but God can. It sounds like the Holy Spirit is dealing with you. Listen and go to Christ. Run, don't walk to him! The first step in fixing your marriage is your salvation and living as a Christian should ( read from Romans to Rev.) which is a guide for Christians. Living as a Christian, loving her, and forgiving her will show Christ in your life.

You cannot get her to be saved, only the Holy Spirit can, but you can show her what joy Jesus can give. Study the Bible, get involved in the church. I pray the both you and your wife accept Christ and his great love. grandma

[dema]

You might look at why you are bickering. Sometimes if you take the time to appreciate what she does that you like, it will help a relationship a lot. You might also buy her flowers.

Another thing to try is the Love Dare. You can google it. It has to do with the movie Fireproof.

I also wonder if maybe her finding a friend challenged you to the point - well, I don't know how to say this. Is she seeing the friend constantly and NEVER talking to you except on date night? Or is it the timing of when she is talking to or being with the friend? Or are you jealous that she has someone besides you in her life? People need to have their own time. Maybe after a few compliments, you could talk to her about how to fit her friend into her life so that it isn't so challenging to you. Maybe she could give you a couple of days notice so that you aren't caught off guard. Maybe you could agree that after 8 PM that she would be available to you six nights a week. If you can figure out what specifically bothers you other than that she spends soooo much time with her friend, then maybe you could figure out a way to make it bother you less.

But you shouldn't ask her to give up her friend. And she shouldn't expect to be able to ignore you or interrupt you constantly to talk to her friend. There should be a compromise where she sees and talks to her friend, but she also pays attention to you and you to her.

And keep in mind when you feel like saying something, "Will this statement make it better or worse? Will it help the overall situation, or will it just ruin the date night without accomplishing anything good at all."

Sometimes that helps me a lot. If I get mad, then I just lose more.

It's tough, I know. God bless.