New, confused, and here for guidance

[SkyBlue]

Hi, everyone I'm 31 years old, single, and not looking. I have never been married, and I don't have any children. I was raised in a strict Catholic household where I went to church every Sunday. I have very loving parents, but I HATED church. I went to Catholic school and I grew up thinking most people were Catholic because that's who surrounded me. When I was 18 and got to college it opened up a whole new world to me. By 19, I was no longer a believer. Nothing bad happened to me. I have learned a lot over the years about critical thinking, science, and skepticism.

That brings me to now. This March I started going to Christian church with a friend just to see what it was like. It was nothing like church now I remembered it. It didn't even feel like church. It was fun and upbeat with awesome music and I enjoyed myself. I don't know what it was and I didn't know how to explain it (I still really can't) but I kept going. I didn't agree with everything the pastors said, but some of the things, I did. What I found was a lot of loving people who were looking to do good.

Here is my problem. As of now, I am feeling like I want to believe, but I still don't. I have this logical part in me that doesn't, and is stubborn. And sometimes when I read things about Christianity and interpretations of Scripture, it's completely the opposite from things I've read in sociology or psychology. There are so many conflicting views on things, that as an adult, it's always been easier for me to go with the latest scientific journals and literature. If I change my views on this, it's like suddenly the world doesn't make any sense anymore. I thought I had it all figured out. Everything made perfect sense. It doesn't make sense at all anymore!!!

I don't know if anyone can explain this to me, or if that even made sense. Basically, what I'm struggling with are conflicting world views and how I can remedy that if I were to believe in things from the bible. When I'm church, I feel like something is in me saying that I want to believe.... but these things are what is stopping me.

I'm not necessarily talking about creation vs evolution, but mostly everything... like miracles and how do we determine what a miracle is vs what isn't a miracle, or fate vs free will and how do we have both and how do we know this? Being born with sin, and the idea of sin. I've read some stuff about satan and emotions and trying to resist these negative emotions, which is the opposite that I've read in my Al-Anon book and other co-dependency books. (please, I'm NOT looking to debate these issues, just airing things I'm having troubles with)

Not sure if that was cohesive at all. I just feel a pull. I will continue going to the Christian church with my friend. Please comment if you have anything that can guide me.

[Mackenaw]

Hello SkyBlue

God bless you! It was good to meet you in Chat last night, and I look forward to getting to know you better. Welcome to Christianity Oasis.

I'll share a couple Bible scriptures with you, which I think address a few things you mentioned in your post.

1 Corinthians 2:9-14King James Version (KJV)

9 But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.

10 But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God.

11 For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? even so the things of God knoweth no man, but the Spirit of God.

12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the spirit which is of God; that we might know the things that are freely given to us of God.

13 Which things also we speak, not in the words which man's wisdom teacheth, but which the Holy Ghost teacheth; comparing spiritual things with spiritual.

14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.

And another verse:
Matthew 13:11
He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

Basically, only those that are Born Again -- those that have accepted Christ Jesus as Lord and Saviour -- can truly understand the scriptures, because they have the indwelling of The Holy Spirit, and He unveils the ways of God to them. To everyone else, it's foolishness because it's so contrary to the things they have learned through their own understanding of things taught them by mankind and the world.

In addition, the sanctification process is indeed a process. Those that accept Christ as Lord and Saviour, don't awaken the very next morning knowing it all. Born Again Christians are babes in Christ initially, and He grows us up in Truth and the knowledge and understanding of God.

SkyBlue, last night you mentioned never having had a relationship with God, and that is key. It truly is about getting to know God, intimately.

Jesus said this:
John 17:3King James Version (KJV)

3 And this is life eternal, that they might know thee the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom thou hast sent.

I'm excited for you, because I know what a difference it made in my own life when I finally and fully embraced that truth and sought to get to know God Almighty: God The Father, God The Son and God The Holy Spirit.

I gave you a link to a 14 Day Study on this site last night, but I will give you that link again, as well as a link to the list of various studies on this site which have all been a blessing to me.

14 Day Study, also known as CCCC Study: http://www.christianityoasis.com/CCCC/Forum.htm

List of various studies on this site: http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... tudies.htm

Again, welcome to Christianity Oasis. If you have any further questions, please let us know.

God bless and keep you, SkyBlue.
In Christ Jesus' love,
Sister Mack