Journal entry Day 2

[Rabinantha]

I'm feeling much more hope today.

Step 2 touched on weeding the garden. There was a pastor at the church I was attending last year that used this same analogy. Jesus used this same analogy.

Renewing my mind is something that I need every day. Dealing with mental health like depression, anxiety, ptsd, and bi-polar disorder I know that my problems are all IN MY MIND. I struggle daily with thoughts in my head. And the worst part is I know it is satan trying to get me to believe his lies and yet I find myself listening and believing what I hear. And then I hear the still small voice telling me to reach out to HIM and then immediately I hear satan again telling me that I'm content in my discontent, and I just give in, defeated. I feel like my arms are stretched out towards God and that satan is standing in my way so that I can't quite reach HIM.

But I have hope today. I believe I am being healed even as I type. I love how in step 2 it talked about having an expectation of success. I am excited about finishing this program, but I'm going to do it right and work through one day at a time. I am really good at starting things and not following through, but I want to change!

I also saw something that someone else posted on a different post, and that was not to skim the bible verses in the steps even if we already know them. I'm guilty of that, but after reading her comment I will spend more time in meditation of these verses.

I want to share a video that describes my (and many others) struggles. If you are feeling manipulated and lied to by satan please watch this. I pray it can help you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSwCOs-uXzU

I long for the day that I can finally be embraced by my Father.