Cleaning Up Where I've Mesed Up

[JTucker801]

The last time I was here, I had problems with sex addiction that I mistook for a pornography addiction. The truth is that it was soul-tie related. While I still have issues with it, I know it's a process. I'm working on my other issues while God works on me in this area, because it's a difficult soul tie to deal with on my own. The tie is with my son's mother, whom I loved. She has passed on as of almost two years ago.

I have fear issues. I hate to say it, but I do. I fear both failure and success. I've always hated failure, but was never taught how to shake it. And I want success, but am scared that I would ruin it if I ever attained it.

I'm especially afraid of dating again once my divorce is finalized. I made a foolish choice marrying someone who never loved me. I was a pretty easy mark, and that stings me to this day.

I've never really had a clear vision about living. Because of the actions of a rather hateful (racially so) Air Force Recruiter many years ago in Georgia, I missed out on military experience. So most of you have life training and thought patterns I don't, and I've been struggling on how to build a life for myself and my son. I'm hanging on very well, but I'm always falling back at many crisis points. I may be wrong here, but it seems like I've never had any lasting success to speak of.

As I go through these stepping stones again, I'm looking to reconnect with God and meet these issues head on to resolve them. That's all for now.

[mlg]

Hello again JTucker801,

What a blessing it is to do the counseling steps, and for a 2nd time. I too have done them twice myself. I have been through a failed relationship with my daughter's dad as well, and I understand how it can be scary being a single parent. May you know that you are not alone in your journey, and that God is there with you all of the way. He has this!

Personally, I struggle with my own trials and tribulations. But, I've found that the struggle is easier as long as I keep God as my focus. One thing I've found that has helped me more than anything, is to help others instead of focusing on myself. This has meant volunteering as well as being active in my church. I read earlier that you are beginning to study ministry. I believe that God will bless you in this, and that you will find that you can be successful in His ministry. There is always room for workers in God's Army. I don't think you've missed out on that military experience you wanted....you just applied to the wrong Army. God's Army is always recruiting and He is delighted to have you enlisted.

As for dating, take that slowly. You need time to heal you. When it's time, pray on it and God will open the doors if it is His will.

Welcome back again to the Oasis and the counseling program.

Take care

[dema]

God loves you. When we are weak, then he is strong. We aren't supposed to be perfect. We are supposed to lean. Sometimes asking for help is hard.

[Dora]

Hello. I'm sorry for my late reply. But I do believe God has control of timing.

I'm so glad to hear you are allowing God to work on your addiction. I'm also glad to hear you recognize it for what it is. God loves you to much to leave you alone with over coming this. You now have a testimony for others. I'm praying God continues to break you free. When you fall though, there is grace.

I read about how you don't feel successful. I think when we look at ourselves most of us feel unsuccessful. That's another trap of the devil. Our success is found in God. How much more worth can we have above that which God has given us through Jesus Christ.

I pray you come to the reality that once you repent and accepted Jesus as your savor you are a new person. Created perfect in the eyes of God. Sure we sin. But His blood shed on the cross cleanses us. Putting your importance of being in alignment with how God sees you, as his adopted son. He sees who is in you. He sees who you would be if you could.

John 4:4 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world.

Success is not giving into temptation.
Success is giving to those that need.
Success is encouraging the down hearted.
Success is Overcoming fear.
Success is being at peace when your world is falling apart.

Be encouraged brother.

God bless and keep you.