In need of a helping hand

[Taryn]

Stepping Stone 1

I've been struggling with anxiety and depression for over a year and a half now, and hallucinations for about a year. I've been on medication as well, and the combination I'm currently on (I've tried several different medications) seems to actually be helping some, though the past few days my anxiety peaked up again. I have so much trouble remembering that I'm not alone. I've just felt so isolated, and a little (okay, maybe more than a little) betrayed. Why do I feel like what happened was all my fault when the actions of others is their responsibility? How do I move on when I still feel haunted by and chained to the past?

[Christianity Oasis]

Greetings Taryn,

When our soul becomes imprisoned, whether it be due to our own thoughts and/or actions or whether it be due to other's choices which negatively affect our lives ... It is usually a "slow fade" into darkness (As the song reveals) and therefore, it is a "slow enlightening" as we return.

It is as if being struck on the head and in a foggy daze, we start wandering aimlessly down a path of darkness and danger where anger, jealousy, fear, lust, greed, envy, doubt, hopelessness, depression and other spiritual tools are used to lure us further into the darkness. (Depending on what the enemy of our soul feels that he needs to utilize, as to keep us in darkness and from healing)

Therefore, if and when we CHOOSE to return to the LIGHT of TRUTH. We must turn around (One cannot walk two different directions, at the same time, lest you get nowhere) and expect it to take a lil time to travel back down the path the other way TOWARDS the Light. Again ... It will take a bit of time to get back, just as it took time to travel into the darkness. But, we CAN if we focus on the LIGHT ahead and as Lot's wife was told ... Do NOT look back.

Instead of pondering on what has caused this imprisonment (Which causes us to dwell in the "Woe is me" syndrome) ... Consider focusing on ONLY how to get out. (Which brings forth HOPE)

Here is Wisdom ... Continue walking this new path that you have chosen to the END. There IS healing and HOPE ahead.

Not by giant leaps ... But, rather step by step. ONE step at a time.


One more thing ... You are NOT alone.

Your Turn .......


Luv ya

[Taryn]

Stepping Stone 2

Here on Earth, my parents and my husband have my back. In Heaven, the Lord. I am never truly alone, I just need to keep reminding myself that. I feel like God is holding up a torch, waiting for me to return to Him.

[mlg]

Hi Taryn,

I see you are doing the counseling steps. Yay! I'm so glad you have began the path to healing. I know that first step was very hard for you.

I believe you feel haunted, because you are still under the burden of pain. Pain can be very draining. It's like it soaks the heart out of us. God can remove that pain from you. He wants you to lay all of it at the feet of Jesus, and there He wants you to leave it....never to pick it up again. Often, we feel like if we do that, we are removing something from our life...maybe a reason to blame someone else, maybe a reason to have an excuse....or maybe we fear that it will happen again. But we can know these are weapons the enemy of our soul uses, to try and keep us from reaching for the Truth. Seeking healing.

You are on the right path...keep walking each step.

Giant

Take care my friend.

[Taryn]

Stepping Stone 3

I have God's full forgiveness. As long as I am working to make sure I don't repeat any mistakes I have made in the past, I am forgiven, and He loves me. Developing anxiety and depression wasn't a choice I made; what lead to them was a perfect storm of super-stress (caused by other people) that I was trying to survive. It was a lot like a hurricane in my mind. Was I trying my best to alleviate the stress? Yes. Were the people causing the stress helping me or hindering me? Hindering. I was trying to do my best and, apparently, they kept choosing to ignore how much effort I was putting in. So, instead of waiting for the storm to pass, I decided to GET OUT, and I got rid of one of my panic attack triggers in the process. I ended up developing more triggers, but that's a story for another time.

[mlg]

Hi Taryn,

It is awesome to see you on step 3. You mentioned as long as you don't repeat any sins of the past that you are forgiven. This is very true. But, if for some reason you do fall into a sin....just know that if you repent of that sin you will be forgiven again. Then it is up to you to get back up and try your best to do better. God knows that we have a sinful nature. That is why He sent us Jesus. To cover our sins with His blood.

You are doing well on the steps. I hope you are feeling some healing already.

See you for step 4.

Take care

[notforgotten]

Hi Taryn,

I know the feelings of being chained to the past. I always seem to dredge up the worst of memories. Although, I know in my heart that Jesus has forgiven me.

I also suffer from temporary anxiety do to my living situation that I am currently in. I take Xanax which helps a lot. I don't know what I would do without it. I am the type of person who will not take medication unless I need it. The Lord understands.

May the days ahead of you be filled with God's blessings.

[Taryn]

Thanks, notforgotten and mlg. I appreciate it.

Stepping Stone 4

Forgiving someone, especially after they really hurt you, seems to be like healing an old wound that just won't heal fully. From time to time, the wound flares up with pain (memory of the sin). Forgiveness is stopping yourself from saying "Why won't you leave already?" and instead saying "I love you and accept you for who you are." Forgiveness is accepting the pain for what it is, and letting it go, instead of fighting it. I still feel the pain from that very stressful time, but it's slowly fading.

[mlg]

Another day another step. Look at you!

Yes, the pain of the past is something Satan will take and try to use against you(such as the festering of an old wound)...especially if you don't forgive and let it go. I'm glad you are working to do just that. Let it go and let God!

Keep on stepping through the counseling path. See you for #5!

Take care

[notforgotten]

My wife use to have a hard time forgiving. This comes pretty easy for me. Although, I do remember the hurt of betrayal sometimes. It does get better with time.

[Taryn]

Stepping Stone 5

Emotions like anger and fear seem (in my experience) to come from a place of HURT. The two people who were at the epicenter of causing me to hurt were most likely hurt themselves for whatever reason, maybe miscommunication or a work friend quitting. Looking at that time with that perspective is actually helping me forgive them. Does that mean if I were to relive that period of time again I would do it the exact same way? No, but only because I have a better idea of how to handle a situation like that.

[notforgotten]

It seems to me also, that people who have been deeply hurt before tend to act out with more fear and anger than others. Forgiveness is essential. As far as doing things over, there are many things that I would do over if I could. Hindsight is 20/20.