Returning for take #2 of healing journey

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Returning for take #2 of healing journey

Postby Coolbellexoxo » Sun Jul 23, 2017 11:32 pm

So my first revelation after just the SECOND day(!!!!) was that I obviously fail to keep to the prescribed time allotments.
My biggest challenge will never be to jump ahead of schedule, it's more of a matter of not falling behind, as I have a habit of derailing and being stuck in thought. So I wanted to clarify since it hadn't really been on the first page...what if I take LONGER than a day to reflect on the material I've read? Because quite frankly, I've been cursed with many things that prevent me from accomplishing a reading in a single day....
a) I'm a very slow reader. I process every word individually and then collectively as a sentence and then in context as a whole thought. So it takes me longer than most people to absorb information due to my detailed and thorough mindedness. Not to mention, I drift in thought practically after every sentence...everything I read provokes some kind of memory or another reflection or relevant experience which takes me a considerable amount of time to settle with in my head before resuming where I left off. Also, many times when I ponder or digress off topic, I often know the gist of what I mean, but I lose the words in my own head to express it. And so I get hung up (sometimes for hours) on trying to recall the particular word/phrase that's on the 'tip of my mind'. But until I can put a name or set of words to it, I am completely trapped and stagnant. In part, I think my OCD is to blame..(I've never been officially diagnosed, but knowing me better than anyone aside from God, I can safely say I have it).Anyway, needless to say, today's first step (which I'd already read) and which ''should'' take someone 15-30 mins to finish, took me about 2-3 hours!! Not including journaling time....which is basically the equivalent because I invest so much time editing.

b) after attempting the 2nd day, I realized that there are links to OTHER pages with MORE readings to complement and reinforce the readings you're already on. As previously revealed, it's hard enough for me to focus and just keep to ONE page, so my questions now are...when do I read those side links? Are they intended to be read in tandem with that day's particular reading? Or should I read them after the journey? Should I take another day in between, or will that impede with the progress I'd make? Is it problematic to take more time than a day, if needed?

c) My work schedule is not balanced or stable enough to allow for consistent readings. The hours are so sporadic and I frequently come home even after a brief shift crashing from exhaustion because my job is so draining in every way possible. Any time I have off is to sleep and physically+mentally+emotionally recover. And then the rest of the downtime is filled up by doing chores, running errands, going to church, keeping somewhat of a social life.....to be entirely honest...even A DAY with this program is cutting it short and cheating me of meaningful time with the Word because now I feel like I have to RUSH through the message without retaining anything just so I can diligently follow the time guideline. It becomes more about catching up with time than catching up with God. So....how do I resolve that? How do WE resolve that??

d) I have too much to say. That much is already quite clear I'm sure. I think journaling may have it's benefits, but it's also a deterrent for me personally because of how much I know I'll want to write as a commentary on what I read. I also REALLY want feedback and responses, but I feel that people will turn away once they see how sizeable my entry is. I think I can say out loud to someone all that I would write in a significant fraction of the time, so my question is whether I can get connected to someone potentially through Skype or Google Hangouts or whatever method. That way, I can communicate more freely and share ideas in a more condensed amount of time, while someone who was WILLING could help keep me accountable every single day and help me see things with more truth and clarity and insight. Is that a reasonable request? Or is it recommended that I stick to journaling? Is there something more spiritually effective or edifying through writing over speaking?

Anyway, that's all the brain dumping I can afford right now. Please let me know how to approach this if you can. I haven't even had a chance to list ANY of the questions that I REALLY wanted to address from the two weeks of reflection since my last entry. That's what I need a real conversation for I think.

Thanks for reading, God Bless.
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Re: Returning for take #2 of healing journey

Postby Dora » Mon Jul 24, 2017 5:05 am

*Wave*

Take as much time as you need. If you need three days to process one days material then take three days. There's no rush. I trust God will take you through this at His schedule not ours.

You'll do just fine. *hug*
*angel7* Sorrow looks back, Worry looks around, But faith looks up! Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and trust in our Creator who loves us.
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Re: Returning for take #2 of healing journey

Postby mlg » Mon Jul 24, 2017 9:40 pm

Welcome back to the steps. As Dora said, take as much time as you need....just make sure to finish the steps...it is not how face you run the race...it is that you cross the finish line.

I look forward to reading your questions. We will do our best to help you find answers.

I hope you will share again soon.

Take care
Do you know my Jesus? Do you know my friend? Have you heard He loves you? If not, I'd like to introduce you.
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Re: Returning for take #2 of healing journey

Postby Mackenaw » Tue Jul 25, 2017 11:37 pm

Hello Coolbellexoxo :)

God bless you this day.

I echo what Dora and Mlg have stated: Read the Study at your own pace. :) Even those of us who read slower and whose thought processes tend to take longer, we still have a pattern -- or pace. So by all means, apply that time pattern/pace to this as well.

I feel it important to remind you that Satan will try to deter you. Remember, however, that The Holy Spirit is right there with you, so acknowledge Him throughout this journey.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless you,
Mack
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