What am I doing?

[FineFreshFierceWoman]

This is really hard for me and really don't want to do this. But I need to. I was doing so well. I got out of a relationship last year and vowed to not have sex. I was doing so well but then last month I met someone and was talking to him and he was saying all the things I wanted to hear and was falling for the fantasy. So we met and I went to his house, I know big mistake. Well I wanted to be strong but I gave in and we had sex. I knew what was doing and I enjoyed it. I actually skipped school to spend the day with him. So I left the next morning and went home I didn't talk to him for a week, but in the mean time I met someone else and we got together. So the first guy I talked to again and well repeat previous time with him. I have not talked to him since that day and it was about 3 weeks ago. I still talk to the other guy and have seen him a couple more times. I also met a guy and we have become really good friends. Well I was to go out but plans fell through and called him up well ended up doing things with him. So in the course of a month I was with 3 guys and I have been so convicted by God cause I know this is now how he wants me to live. I am to have more respect for myself then this. I have just felt horrible. I don't know why I gave in to this. I mean a moment of pleasure is not making up for the heartache I am feeling now. Well now I met another guy. I know it's not like I am looking for anything I just talk to people on a social site I am on sometimes I meet someone really cool. Well I met this guy. He is so far a good guy. We seem to have things in come and some similar beliefs. The thing is we have had some very sexual talks lately and I am beginning to feel uncomfortable with them. I mean I was OK when it first started but now I am not. I know I need to stop it but part of me is afraid that I may have started something that I can't finish and that he might be upset and stop talking to me. We haven't had sex but have come somewhat close. I just feel like such a disappointment to me and God and not sure if I want to turn to him. I know he is just shaking his head at me. I know he still loves me and is always there for me but right now i feel like I let him down so bad. That I am a hypocrite I talk about my faith but I am not practicing it. I am not sure what to do now.

[Maverick_Reborn]

Hello =) I cannot offer much advice about the relationships, but I can tell you this: God never wants you to feel like you let Him down. Whenever you are having those dark feelings you should ask yourself who in your head is telling you all of this. The devil's attacks on the mind are like arrows; they pierce and damage until it destroys. The devil is trying to make you feel so guilty that you will not turn to our Father, but that is a dire mistake. I can only guide you so far. My words can soothe you but they cannot heal you. Talk to God, and your dark feelings will be lifted, for He is loving and quick to forgive, if only you ask for His forgiveness.

[Shan]

Thank you for sharing this with us.

You're not alone, this is something many christians are dealing with. Remember God provides a way out of temptation, you must act though. That might mean staying away from the social sites that you meet these guys on.

When I decided to quit smoking, I gave in to the temptation many times and didn't quit until I was finally deeply convicted in my spirit by His Spirit that what I was doing was a sin unto the Lord.

The Lord wants you to be obedient to His word (which you know, hence the guilt feelings) not because of what He can do for you but because He deserves it because He alone is worthy. I pray the Holy Spirit will convict you and that will lead to repentance and obedience to our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lamb who was slain.

In Christ,
Shan

[abbrachelle]

I know the feeling.. I will admit I used to go have sex just so I wouldn't feel the sting of being single .... and it did hurt even more afterwords knowing that we weren't a couple and I would never speak to them again...
you just need to leave this sinful life behind you ... pray more, ask god to forgive you and to help you repent against your adulterous sins... and resist the temptation.. if you know doing something is going to lead into you having sex, don't do it in the first place.. not trying to be rude but its just the truth, dear... and wait for the right person to come along... don't worry god has a great plan for you, and when you find the right person for you, he will wait for you, he will respect that you want to save yourself for marriage.. you just pray for you, and I will also pray for you, ok? and I am here if you need advice, just feel free to send me a private message (:

Blessings,

Abbie