Pornographic material . . .

[follower of Christ]

I do believe that this is probably the hardest thing that i have had to do except finish school (lol).

It started about four years ago when i went to boarding school. This was something new to me and a wasn't prepared for the consequences or the hold that it would have over me for the following three years.

It has cost me the relationship I had with God, the mental awareness I had for things that are either right or wrong, and it has sucked me into this thought that I was/ am not worthy as a man towards a woman. . .and also I feel that i have betrayed my heavenly Father who has given me a new chance time and again until i manage to throw away the chance once more. I hate feeling so far from God and I want to start having a personal relationship with Him but i don't know where to start. I am really embarrassed about this part of my life and i wish I never started with it in the first place. I really don't know if it can be called an addiction, but I find it pretty hard to stop.

I have stopped though . . .a couple of times actually, but it always seems to find its way back to me and i don't know how to "fill the hole" once I have removed it. This has had a hold over me for so long and I wish (again) to stop and move on to another chapter in my life which I can pursue and so that I have one less thing in my life that comes between me and my Lord.

Please give advice, similar stories, tips or anything that can help me with overcoming this obstacle. †

[EllaMay]

Follower of Christ,
Dear brother I am so sorry to hear of your struggle. I'm so sorry that I am just now getting to this but I want to let you know that your heavenly Father hears your cries. The devil plays with our mind and plants many many lies. He also is the master of shame and keeping things in the dark.
As a woman of God I felt awful that I had this addiction. I had always thought that men were confined to this type of addiction and that I must be the only woman that struggled with it. A good way to stop is to stay busy. Realize when this urge usually happens and have a plan ahead of time. Scientifically what happens when your mind travels towards wanting to view these images is pretty interesting to study. You have to know that once the urge starts it's harder to think clearly. The best way to beat this addiction is to have a plan while you can still think clearly.
1 Corinthians 10:13-No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.
Pray about your personal escape plan that you establish with God.
I would also recommend taking the Healing Path http://www.christianityoasis.com/cccc/forum.htm this walk will definitely strengthen your walk with Christ.
Love and Blessing in Jesus name,
Ella