tired

[Ann_is_Alive]

im sooooooooooo tired

just tired

[Ann_is_Alive]

i was in the hospital in a catatonic state for awhile and im out and slowly getting back into life or at least i was.

i was supposed to go back to work fri. and weekend but i couldnt and i dont know why

something is wrong i was fine and now im not

dr says im depressed and need more time to rest my brain and not go to work this weekend

i was fine - actually good - a couple of days ago

ugh



ann

[dema]

I'm sorry you feel bad. I hope you have let your doctor know.

[Ann_is_Alive]

He was with me - holding my hand - when i started to remember what happened to put me in the catatonic state.

i was fine.

BAM!

i am profoundly sad and tired. He is still there. He is still holding my hand.

but something is wrong and i dont know what it is.

and now i find myself going back to being extremely angry at those who hurt me. i would not be this way if it were not for those bastards. i hate them and i hope the ones that are dead are burning in hell and the ones that are still alive, i hope they are living a sh*tty life, die soon and burn in hell forever.

i used to feel like this all the time, consumed by it actually. but i realized that that was a waste of time, energy. it served no purpose and did not serve Him. while i feel that way sometimes, im not consumed by it anymore.

but im going towards that again. i dont know why. i am all of a sudden like this.

and i feel like im worse than i was yesterday.

ive prayed, ive rebuked.

i sooooooooooooo dont want to be this way.

maybe dr. is right maybe my brain needs more time to heal.



prayers please




ann

[dema]

Hugs honey. And prayers.

I'm so sorry they hurt you. So sorry you are going through this.

Have you fingerpainted lately?

[Ann_is_Alive]

ty dema

i havent fingerpainted per se, but i finished up my art pieces this week that i'm going to put in the art show.

but im just not right




ann

[dema]

I'm glad you are doing things you care about. That is so important. I'm sorry honey. I'm amazed at you. I give lots of people advice - but you know so much more than I know about what you are going through.

[Ann_is_Alive]

just pray for me k?







ann

[Mercy&Grace]

For some it is like trying to take your first steps. You get up and try and take a step then another one, but you fall down. Just go as the Lord direct you. This isn't a race, be patient with yourself.

[Ann_is_Alive]

ty Mercy&Grace,

u said the 'p' word............patience. ugh! my biggest downfall! !

well i didnt cry ALL day today and im not AS tired today...........thats something i guess.



ann

[Mercy&Grace]

I know it's much easier said than done. Thank the Lord that today was better than yesterday and have Hope and Faith that tomorrow will be better than today.

[abbrachelle]

i know that feeling all too well, my dear ... just keep your head held high ... don't worry about the fact that you CAN"T work, but think about all the good times you had when you DID work, and find something to keep your mind busy! if you need to send me a private message and I will talk with you and pray with you ... Just think about the fact that you're healing, heck think of this as time to have for you! Just relax, sleep in, start a project, paint your nails, get your hair done, take this as time that you get to spend on yourself