why

[Hope]

Why is it that the thing you know you most need to get rid of you cling to as if your very life depended on it?? well in a way it does as it can only lead to destruction and death.... but perhaps more acurately why can i not just let it go... and let God be in control of my life again? perhaps that is the question........ tired of running, tired of lying, mostly just tired. was a time when i was able to give it to God and day by day slowly things got better and better....... now im back in that same stupid sinking boat........ i know the lifepreserver.... i know how to get out i did it before. then got careless and jumped back in..... and still am in the sinking boat....... God Lord what was i thinking??? better yet............ why am i not grabbing tight onto the life preserver????

[Mackenaw]

Hello Hope (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

Try not to multi-task. Trying to reach for the Life Preserver while trying to clean yourself up has your mind and heart divided. Just reach for The Lord, your blessed Life Preserver -- He'll do the washing.

Prayers continue to rise to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's will be done.

God bless and keep you, dear Hope.
Love,
Mack

[Hope]

ty mack

seems like i just keep messing up... I recently got a really good paying job with great benefits. I tried very hard, dont like it much but i kept thinking i really need the money and the benefits... well i got my final written warning the other day. I think maybe God was helping me to realize it is not the place for me, granted ihave one last chance and i am about to understand the job finally but it is so hard and not really what i want to do. I guess the solution is to keep trying there while looking for something more along the lines of what is in my heart to do. After all money isnt everything i just need enough to cover bills buy groceries and keep my furkids and my house in working order. Things are not good at home ( as if that is anything unusual) i deserve nothing,,, i am hoping God will take mercy on this sinner fool yet again and save me from myself.