“We was in the house I lived in when we met, it was like I was invisible at first…”
At this point you are invisible in this part of the dream for two reasons. first because in the dream you are being shown what she went through before she picked you. She had examined herself to know in advance what she was looking for in a mate. She prepared herself accordingly by having her relationship outlined in advance. She actually counted the cost of marriage and decides ahead of time what it was she was willing to tabulate as do-able ingredients for her life as a wife.
She must have explained to you ahead of time what she needed in a man/husband, however you were invisible, because you took that precious moment in time, and expressed yourself as “hidden.” You concealed some things from her at the start, as you were unable to be seen as you truly are. What you constantly masked about yourself in your marriage kept you “out of sight” and the matter is the root to why your marriage failed. It is the key also to your deep depression that visits you.
You also said;
“She had this other guy there, I couldn’t see his face but as they talked I noticed she was doing like a check list if you want to call it that but it was a agreement of how things would be like this is what I want, you cant do this type of stuff…”
Second; she knew what her desires were even before she meet you. She actually had other men to choose from before you, but she chose you, even though you weren’t everything she wanted on the list. You never had to be perfect to be with her. You only had to be true to the vows. She always knew she needed a committed husband, and she always knew she could not settle for less than a vow-keeper. You knew the things that mattered to her because if she was specific enough to record them on paper then she voiced them as well.
“…I looked at my oldest daughter and said he has a lot better chance than me and her reply was oh yea…”
Your oldest daughter agrees in this part of your dream to show you that although she is younger than you, and not married, yet she is advanced in her ability to observe the marital guidelines a woman seeks and needs. She can compare and weigh that with your position in regards to relationships and know right away that you do not fit the bill. This dream also shows you how your daughter has experienced through the situation the importance of living by principles that would put her in a position not like her father. NOTE; she measures you as a man privately, and find you don’t meet the listed specifications. You must ask yourself what example have you been before her.
“Then I noticed as I was watching all this I was plunging a hole that was like a drain but it was dirt and as I plunged it water would rise up to the top, this was in the living room…”
You see this happening in the living room to reflect that the most attractive part of your life with your wife has been defiled. The living room is the most well-kept part of your dwelling place. It is the place of the highest standard of living you will find in any home. The living room represents a symbol of neat, clean, expensive, and orderly living. This room is set-apart from all others. You just don’t enter the living room any-o-kindda way. Your behaviour there is perfect, and far beyond average conduct. This room holds the finest of furniture, and it holds the foremost front of the home. When people enter into your home the first impression is what the living room presents. The living room houses only the best your living has to offer, and it defines the rest of the house/relationship.
“I realized at this point that I lost her to this guy and I started to cry when she came back into the room she looked at me for the first time…”
She looked at you for the first time, because for the first time you are unable to be invisible because your pain forced you out of hiding. She sees who you truly are, and the state that you are in.
“… and asked if I needed her to hold my hand…”
This part of the dream shows you how she actually still has respect for you despite your fallen state. She offers her hand not only to console you but because a virtuous women can extend her hand to the poor, the fallen and the down trodden. This dreams shows that she is woman of virtue. An extended hand points to one who is a helper, and one who knows what it is to be a worker. She is not afraid to labour and offer aide because she is skilled in support.
“…as I continued to cry as I plunged this dirt hole in the living room floor she then left with this other man and got into a little white sports car…”
she extends a hand, however you continued to cry and plung. Often times we go on and on about our failure and don’t rise when the help is there. Rather then go down the hole with you…she departs for better living. She knows she cannot save you, but you must want to be saved. You must want to rise. You must stop wallowing around in your filth, and reach back when one is sent to aid you. She will not join you in your immersing of dirt. You are up one moment and then down the next, up the one moment and then back down the next. Up and down you go, but never coming out of it.
A wife was never built to carry her husband. She needs a head and one that on right. She needs a man of victory and not one constantly bobbing up and down in his mess. According to the dream you’ve been going to pieces over and over again in this marriage. You have made a mess of the best parts of your relationship and what you need now is to pray for liberation from what ever it is that’s got you thrashing about in those things unclean.
”I woke up crying and spoke out to the Lord…”
I encourage you to keep it up. Ask the Father to show you what it is that keeps you struggling in the dark, and to free you from those things that cause you to muddle up your life. Then expect the worst of things to come to the surface, and know healing has begun. Most don’t know, but it actually hurts enough to be wounded, and yet it hurts even more to heal. I know from personal experience. You’ll ship wreck every relationship you touch until you are made whole.
I send you my prayers