God's paln for my life

[faith1]

I know the Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you says the lord. However, I am absolutely not seeing that in my life. I have had to struggle with anxiety and panick attacks for 25 years but have managed to work around them. I've still managed to go to school, work and travel. However, there has been constantly problems with jobs since I left college. I've had several really hateful supervisors who have harrassed me. Other times the jobs would be located somewhere that would cause my anxiety to increase. Then I would start feeling feeling sick due to extreme anxiety and still have to work. Sometimes a job was one that I didn't like or had gotten tired of and was unable to find another in order to leave. This has happened many times over the past ten years making me so angry and frustrated. In the past five years dispite the struggles I've had with anxiety and frustration and aggrivation with jobs and economy I managed to buy a house. This too had problems since my parents were not supportive of that and my father who is very controlling was acting hateful to me about it. After I bought a house I had several people cause problems with that. In the past three years I 've had several "friends" cause problems. One I introduced a friend to another friend and then she only wanted to deal with her and ignored me. Another will make plans with you and then back out of it seemingly on purpose just to mess things up for you. I wanted a male friend and there was this guy I met through a group we were all in. We were friends for a couple months but I made the mistake of telling him I liked him not because I wanted him as a boyfriend but that was how I felt. Even though I told him I didn't want to date him he kept insisting that we go out. He would get really angry at me and act controlling, run off or say he was going to show up just to be a friend. After I told him I didn't think he should move to my house he showed up at my house one day and I let him say in my guest room temporarily. At first he worked but didn't help with anything around the house. Then he told me he was on workers comp when he'd been fired he paid only a couple weeks of rent because I insisted. He would get up at night and walk around saying I didn't care about him.I think as a way to keep me awake to make it difficult to go to work. He stayed there two months and caused a lot of stress while there. Worse yet he would act like he was so Godly to the outside world. Then I had a company that really screwed me over a contract ended and they didn't tell me placing me as an independent contractor. This job didn't pay consistantly and had to deal with this for six months not getting paid at all for two months. However, the economy was bad and it was difficult to find anything else. I was eventually hired on with this company but I was still angry about the independent contractor mess that had caused so much trouble in my life. I'm currently at another job that I'e been at for over a year and have really like. However, there has been recently been some issues there that have been making me really upset. I am 39 years old I'm not married and don't have any kids. So if the job situation is bad and the situation with friends what is the plan in my life. I don't see it. Each time I do something such as buy a house work at a job I come up against major obstacles. I have been feeling very very bitter because of the independent contractor situation in the past and the way friends have acted towards me. I'm a really loyal good friend towards others but I never get that back. I feel like I try to handle things the best I can but that never seems to be enough. I always think of the verse that says if God is for you who can be against you. I just don't feel God is for me because it often seems there is so much against me.

[akita777]

Hi Faith1,

I sure don't know what God's exact plan is for your life or mine to be honest. But, , what I do know is that when I hear others stories about depression, anxiety and panic attacks and other mental issues I feel right at home and somehow God uses that person(you) to minister to me. Let me tell ya, some times it ain't easy for any of us. My faith gets challenged everyday. sometimes non stop. My challenges are usually in the mind but not always. I have eating problems. I have problems with wondering eyes and am happily married(for the most part) for 19 yrs. But, everyday it seems like a war zone. You know why? Because it is. We live in the middle of a war zone.

The enemy of your soul and mine wants to render us in-affective for God. He does this by getting us so wrapped up in our own problems that we cannot see another that needs helps standing right next to us.

It sounds like you may have some major boundary issues with you dad. Frankly, it is none of his business if you buy a house, you are a grown women of 39 and this is your choice not his. Often times I have this problem too. I want to do something but I am afraid of the consequences so I ask everybody's opinion on the matter trying to find someone that agrees with me so if it does not work out at least I can I sought council. I do believe we as Christians need to seek wise council about major life choices. But, maybe your dad(and mine) is not the right person.

Be honest with God about how you feel. Humble yourself and come to him with all the "stuff" that is going on. He is big enough to handle it all. I believe he wants to handle it all. I have started to pray for myself that today Lord I give you all my anxiety, all my worry, all my fear. I cast all of myself on you Lord and ask for peace in return.

One more thing, A good girlfriend is in my opinion better than having a good male friend, especially to live with. There nothing like a true friend that loves and cares for you. I will be praying for you.

Peace and joy to you sister,

Steve