Help me please

[acbkitten]

I find the tittle of this forum hard to do, rises above it all...
I deal with bipolar, anxieties and depression, not to mention the occasional suicidal thoughts, i feel God made me this way for a reason, i wish desperately to know why He intended me to suffer the way i do.
I am on medication which helps slightly, but its not enough and i can't afford to get more help
i feel as though i am falling, i live a decent life trying hard to live by the word of the Bible but i get down and i get so angry or i get manic and i stop caring and want to sin for i know it will hurt Him. i dont though, i feel like a child throwing a tantrum. I just want it all to stop and sometimes Gods word is not enough. Please, any adice would greatly be appreciated.
acbkitten
trying hard to rise above

[dema]

Please read Joyce Meyer, Battlefield of the Mind. It is a wonderful book. When you read this kind of book, read it slow. Stop often to think about what it said. And when you finish it, read it a second time. You can get it online for probably $4-$5 I would expect. It is also likely in your library.

God doesn't want you to feel this way. There is original sin. Eve gave power to Satan. And Satan wants you to feel this way. Battlefield will really help you to learn ways to not feel this way. It really will.

But, honey, it isn't instantaneous. God put us here to learn, at least that's my belief. God can work all things together for good, as we let him.

God bless you.

[Dora]

I can relate to much of what you shared sis.
Except I don't want to sin to hurt Him, I want to hurt myself.

I have found there are cracks in my armor. I am sharing this because perhaps it will help you see maybe it's what is happening in your life as well.

I struggle to feel worthy of peoples love and time. When I look at how God sees me I feel the same towards Him. Unworthy. For me I know that is where the problem lies. Not in who I am, but in how I believe He sees me. Maybe you can relate to that. I believe if we can get a understanding on how God sees us, accept and hold onto it we will see our other issues fade.

The enemy knows our buttons to push. He knows exactly what words to put into our head. What will cause anxiety, stress, depression and even when to place thoughts of suicide. When we'll most likely to be weak is when he jumps right in to start pushing those buttons.

I encourage you to find what your weak areas are. Then begin to work on them with God.

[jenp]

Dear friend,

I know exactly how you feel. I have bipolar, depression and PTSD. So i know how you feel. I give it ALL to the Lord. Finally after many years they found the right combination of meds for me. Maybe try to find a support group in your area. Stay focused on God. He will guide you thru this.

If you never need to talk please look me up.

[sonya1]

i can relate to you, i have generalized anxiety disorder, traits of bipolar and i have depression. a couple books you may want to check out that i found helpful is breaking free and get out of that pit, both books are written by beth moore. she even has a study guide inthe back so you can do your own Bible study with it. sometimes it helps to know youre not alone, that there are others out there just like you. i keep reminding myself that God is our divine Councelor and He gives His guideance free! God promises that we will be restored and made new! i cant wait! a new mind without depression without thinking negative thoughts, yeah i cant wait!