Pretending to be "NORMAL"

[dantyriverside]

I spend everyday trying to pretend nothing is wrong with me. I have Narcolepsy, Seizures, Diabetes, Fibromyalgia, PTSD, Bipolar, Major Depresion, and due to a complicated stomach surgery I have to take protien supplements because my body does not absorb protien any more. I try to pretend nothing is wrong. Two weeks ago I had a Grand Ma seizure and broke a tooth. It has taken me this long to get better. My speech gets slurred for awhile and I feel like I have been beaten by a baseball bat all over. As if my seizures are not a major road block (I am stuck being driven around again). My Diabetes is causeing problems with my kidneys again. I don't want to share this with my family because they worry enough about me and treat me like they don't want me to live on my own. I understand thier concern. My sugar dropped in March and I went head first off the porch and was unconscience when my kids came home. I hate my body for turning against me. I used to work 60 hours a week and go to law school. One day out of the blue I started haveing Narcolepsy and within a few months my seizures started.I lost my job because "Narcolepsy and Seizures must ciest immediantly". Like I didn't try. I spent weeks in the hospital trying to find the right medicine. Now I am on Disability and live day to day with blanks. The problem is I never know if it is Narcolepsy, or Peteite Ma seizures. I get so frustrated I wonder why God put all of this on me. I know the old saying God never gives you more than you can handle. I think he has me confused with the girl down the street. I NEED PRAYERS. I am afraid a day will come when I get so frustrated with pretending I will give up on God.

[humblevisitor]

Prayers you have and will continue to have I had logged off last night and checked the new posts just before going to bed and i didn't know how to respond then so I decided to wait until after church. When I was going through all my things and was questioning God I didn't want to hear anything from anybody...and especially when they tried to encourage me from God's Word of Truth. However, believing that your more tender to the word of God than I was...here goes .

all I could think of when I read this was the time when Jesus encountered and healed a blind man and the disciples asked Him a question. They asked Him whether the blind man or his parents had sinned that put him in that position, And Jesus replied that neither had...but that this had happened that the Glory and Power of God might be displayed. I know I paraphrased.

How I wish back then that I had let the healing Power of God bring Glory to Him by what He would do to me and through me.
I pray that God does heal you; but if that is not His will then I pray that in either healing or remaining His Power works in you and through you to help and encourage others for His Glory.



Thank you for being my friend

[Zemirah]

(((((((danty)))))))))) sometimes I wonder if ..... the pretending is the part that hurts the most and is the most wearying? maybe even if you can't share this with your family you could share it more with God and let him in ..... to hold you up praying for you

[dantyriverside]

I feel alot better after posting this and telling my new family at CO. I realize no matter what it could be worse and I do have to count my blessings. Thank you all for your support and prayers

[chantel103]

Prayers going up Im glad you shared this with your new family here I do consider you my family even if ive never met you.