I'm so lost

[redbandit]

I feel like I burden everyone too much with my problems, especially here and with my family. But I can't talk to my friends about this kind of stuff. I don't want them to know I'm bipolar, BPD, and whatever else the doctor wants to diagnose me with. My husband and I are struggling so much financially because of all my health problems. I keep on trying to get a job asking God for help, and to somehow make me a blessing to others. Because I feel like a huge bum and mooch right now.
I did really bad at an interview yesterday because I was so nervous I couldn't sleep the night before.
I feel like I'm sinning by the fact that I'm in debt. I have so many medical bills and owe over a $1,000 right now. Its not like I'm in collection's, I'm on repayment plans. But I don't think my illnesses are something I have much control over. Esp right now.
My sister got really mad at me today and says she no longer wants to talk to me. Idk how much more I can take. I feel like God has cursed me

[Mackenaw]

Hello Redbandit (((hugs)))

God bless you this day.

Awwwwwww, Redbandit (((((((hugs))))))) Illness is not something you can just deny or ignore, it is something that needs to be dealt with -- be it through complete healing or with ongoing medical treatment(s). Yes, it is very expensive to be sick. It is what it is, but feeling guilty over it just tends to empower the illness more, so do not receive the guilt when it comes at you.

God has not cursed you, He loves you.

Through any type of change within our lives -- due to loss of job or due to health issues, etc., -- we, too, must make some changes and be willing to relinquish some of the expenditures associated with worldly endeavors. It isn't something any of us likes to do, but it is necessary. God will help us in deciding what things we need to let go of. Keep going to Him in prayer, and listen for His response -- throughout the day.

As far as feeling like a burden, well, some people may think of you as a burden, but most will not. Do a little self-examination: are you constantly talking negatively about yourself and all your problems and neglecting to ask about the others around you? Negativity zaps the joy out of people. Do you fail to see the good things in your life because the bad things seem so LOUD and in-your-face? It's easy to miss the good when we continually focus on the bad.

Talk to your husband -- talk to the "through sickness and in health" partner that you married, and be honest -- yet not emotional. I know, hard to do at times, but our emotions tend to be manipulative, both to ourselves and to others. Right now, it does not seem that you are able to work outside the home and contribute financially. It is something the two of you need to come to terms with.

I know you have mentioned a couple times that you are a tad jealous of your sister and others because they don't seem to struggle as much as you. While that may be true on the surface, deep down, every single one of us have trials and tribulations that can overwhelm us on any given day. Lose the jealousy. Also, she obviously does not have the answers to your problems, so stop telling her about them.

God has the answers you seek.

Redbandit, I do not regard you as a burden. It is my privilege to lift you up in prayer to our Lord.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. May God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Redbandit.
Love,
Mack

[Ann_is_Alive]

((((((((((Redbandit))))))))))

GBU

Ann

[redbandit]

I don't talk to my sister about my problems anymore. All She does it put me and my mom down. I don't think my husband will accept me not working. We can't afford to live off only his income, and don't qualify for any public assistance.
Thanks for the prayers and replies.

[Timothy]

you wrote:
> I feel like I burden everyone too much with my problems, especially here <

My dear sister, know that, I, Timothy, am not burdened by you. Just the opposite!!
I, Timothy, am blessed, *repeatedly* by your presence. I enjoy our fellowship thru
the forums am PMs!!! Personaly, I think you ROCK!



Timothy

[redbandit]

Thanks guys for the encouragement and prayers. Update, I called a local Christian camp to see if they needed volunteers and the guy asked me what my background is. I said PR (that's my degree) and he said he actually needs people in that field and might be able to get me a job! I'm filling out an application and taking it in tomorrow. Really hoping and praying this works out!

[Mackenaw]

Hello Redbandit

God bless you this day.

Yeah!!! That's awesome, Redbandit. God is so very Good. I know you have not said whether or not you have gotten the position, but it sounds so encouraging. I love that you were asking about volunteering, yet, it may lead to a paid position.

Prayers are rising to our Lord in the name of Jesus on your behalf. God's blessed will be done.

God bless and keep you, Redbandit.
Love,
Mack

[Truesovereigncrown]

Hi Sis, There`s no way on God`s earth that your a burden to us, your very much loved here, and a blessing to us all.
your always an encouragement to me, and i`m honored to have you as a sister in Christ.
Thank`s for being a part of our family.
I know, as you do in your heart that our heavenly father has a plan for you, and he will get you through these hardships.
Your in my prayers Red sis, God bless you and yours.
Love in Jesus, Bro True.

[redbandit]

I got the job at the camp!! Thank you guys so much for your encouragement and prayers. I'm so thankful right now and excited to start working again

[Mackenaw]

Woooooooooooohoooooooooooo! Thank You Jesus \o/ \o/ \o/

I'm so excited for you, Redbandit (((hugs))) and so very thankful to our Lord. He Lives, He Loves and He Provides!

God bless and keep you.
Love,
Mack

[Timothy]

Congratulations!!
Praise the Lord!

[Truesovereigncrown]

WOOHOOO I'm so pleased for you sis, Congratulations.
I knew the Lord had a plan for you, Praise Jesus.
God bless ya Red L.I.J from Bro True.(((Hug)))