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I was raised by a parent whoexhibits high levels of narcissism(found in all pathological personality disorders) I read a fair bit on the topic and that certain parent seemed to be the person talked about. So I pretend that the parent is ill and that it is nothis/her fault for being such a tyrant and being "whatever" until I got into reading a wad of stuff on pathological psychology. There are someChristians who say they have something better. Well in Chapter 2 0r 3 of Matthew Pharoah wanted all the male children in his region killed so as to be sure Jesus was killed. If that is not pathological behavior I don't know what is. But back to me..... My life was taken from me, controlled by a parent who never had consistant values. Now I'm older and my adult years were stolen. I have forgiven. But sometimes the reminder of all of life that I missed out on overwhelms me because of this possibly ill parent. Such feelings confuse me because I dropped the debt I felt she owed me and now write her letters without bitterness. What gives? I'm tired of the occassional bitterness taking away from a more peaceful life and peace that I have found. the parent's words and antics were not about me after all. But about that parent's unhappiness and/or feelings of inferiority and/or whatever. This ought not get to me after all. therefore. But it does occasionally. Any magic words out therefor me? Thanks for reading.

Hi dicipleofJesus,

I think that even though you have forgiven, you may not have fully healed from the past pain. Satan knows our weaknesses and he will often use them against us....this includes our past pain. I encourage you to check out the 14 day counseling program here at the Oasis. Here is the link. http://www.christianityoasis.com/cccc/forum.htm

There is healing within the counseling steps. You will be blessed if you choose to take the journey.

Take care

Some things take time.

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.

Thanks all. I sort of thought time was needed. I will believe that. I try to treat it as I did My grandmother's dimentia. if she hollerred at me I knew it was not about me. My parent's lack of niceness was not about me either. But unlike the dementia, I forget this with the possible pathological disorder and wonder what is wrong. Grieving for an unlived past....unlike with the Dementia, I guess. But thanks for everything. PS: I recieved a letter from that parent yesterday. I enjoyed recieving it. I am grieving a lost past I believe, but feel I got to be MR SPIRITUALITY and not be botherred. So insane.