Hi 1st Timothy
I agree with the previous posts.
In our house, it drives us crazy when that happens. It doesn't happen often, but enough for us to have
developed strategies for when it does. Depends on when and where it does happen. But when it
overwhelms us, we do some hard praying. Each and everytime we've prayed for support or guidence,
it came. Sometimes it takes a week or two but we've always been provided with a support of some kind.
Currently in the form of respit care and a behavior specialist - couselor.
One strategy is to ignore him. Eventually he gets tired and moves on.
Another is to try to redirect him. Change the focus of the discussion. Don't engage in "his" debate.
He doesn't really understand the implications of his words. We need to offer mercy and show him grace.
Another is "brain stoppers". When he gets stuck on one subject over and over and over and over and over...
my wife throughs out a brain stopper. Something totally off subject that makes no sense at all. "Utility lines
carry electricity." Or maybe just one word, off subject. "Orange". "Chair". "Bookshelf". (etc).
This often stops him in his tracks!
Then there is the "Broken Record" strategy. Repeat one word over and over and over and over...until he stops
and looks at you like you got two heads.
Maybe try the agreement strategy. Your right. Yes. Your right. He can't agure against you if you "say" you agree.
I also encourage you to read some books on Aspergers Syndrome or The Strong Willed Child.
Or perhaps a book on Oppositional Defience Disorders. They will offer you insight and understanding
of the disorders and will provide you with some other possible strategies.
Here is one for an adult to try:
When cousin begins to ... "start up"... stand up straight and still. Adult tells cousin to stand in front of them.
Tell him to stand still and look at your nose. Now tell him to gently touch the end of your nose. Now that
the adult has asserted the authority in a non threating way, give the child direction in a firm, steady, moderate
matter of fact, tone of voice. Never argue. Just statement. Repeat same statement in same tone if neccessary.
Non-emotional, matter of fact moderate firm tone of voice.
Sometimes our children with special needs are held to lower expectations. Your cousin seems to be smart.
Perhaps, with further study, there are strategies to help him assume more responsibility for himself ???
Will take some self education thru reading and asking questions. Maybe even joining a support group
to get ideas. I feel any one can learn. Its a matter of teaching in a manner that they can understand.
It takes thought and imagination and practice. I do believe it can be done, specially if backed up by lots of prayer.
I do believe in prayer! I see it work so many times!!!
1st Timothy. Did you cousin have the oppotunity to buy something, too?
If not, might there have been some kind of resentment that set him off?
Sometimes our children don't know how to properly express themselves, so they act out.
This is common among those with Autism disorders.
One last thing. I don't think you offended anyone with your post. This is what we talk about quite often
in our support groups. You voiced your concerns well, as you always do here at the Oasis. You are wise
beyond your years. Share as often as you like. This is important for every one to know. Thank you for the thread.
Hugs and luv to you my dear sister.