OVERCOMING SELF HARM

WHAT IS SELF HARM?

WHY WOULD ANYONE SELF HARM?

SELF HARM ... EVERYONE HAS DONE THIS IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. OTHERS DO IT OFTEN AND IT HAS BECOME AN ADDICTION. THEY HAVE FALLEN INTO A VICIOUS CYCLE AND LIVE IN A DARKNESS FEW WOULD COMPREHEND MUCH LESS UNDERSTAND.

What do you do when you can not cope with things in your life? What do you do when do not WANT to cope? What do you when you feel the need to escape from the pressures of this world? What do you do when you feel like you deserve some kind of a punishment for something you feel that you have done wrong or have been wronged by another and blame yourself? What do you do when you want to focus your mind on anything other than what is going on in your life at that very moment, unable to see past that moment?

Some people get so very overwhelmed that they just want to scream. 

So they do. 

And afterwards, they feel better. It was a release of tension for them. Everything that was built up within was able to come out through a simple scream. Some punch their pillows. All of their energy and frustration is taken out on a pillow, and it helps them. Some people exercise to get their frustration out.

 But ... Others take out their frustration on friends and family.

Even turning to physical abuse.

Still others get so overwhelmed by what they are enduring and don’t know how to release the tension, that in their perspective, being in physical pain would be more comforting to them than experiencing the emotional pain within.

 So ...

They resort to self harm ...

Alcohol Abuse, Drug Abuse, Cutting, Burning, Scratching, Banging, Biting, Purging …

 The list goes on and on ...

It might sound ridiculous and unbelievable to some people, but to others, it is a means of temporary relief. 

Not a healthy way to find relief by any standards, but it is still relief in their confused and hurting state of mind and heart. 

WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM THOUGH?

OVERCOMING SELF HARM HEALING AND OVERCOMING SELF HARM CURE WITH OVERCOMING SELF HARM MESSAGE

There are an abundant amount of reasons as to why one would fall victim to this trap of the mind and heart.

Loss of someone you love, to death, abuse whether it be physical or sexual, to loss of a job, to loss of a friend or lover, to bad grades at school.

Some of the people that harm themselves can’t even truly identify WHY they do it. 

 Some feel they have lost so much control in their lives, that they find control in what they can do to their own bodies. 

Hard to understand for some, easy to understand to others. 

How do you feel when you have lost control of things?

In situations where you have control taken from you or have surrendered it for whatever reason …

This can result from so many scenarios ... From being sexually abused or raped to a situation where the person feels they always let people down and can not do anything right anymore to a situation where a person is uncomfortable with how their body looks and since they feel they can’t change it immediately, they find a way to feel some kind of control again.

OVERCOMING SELF HARM WARNING ON OVERCOMING SELF HARM DANGERS AND OVERCOMING SELF HARM CONCERNS

Some feel they need to be punished. 

They feel so much shame, guilt, and regret from a specific incident that they can not completely understand and/or accept that God has already forgiven them when they truly repent, so they feel the need to be punished. 

In short .... They refuse to forgive themselves.

Some might not even know of or understand God’s Grace, so any mistake or sin they commit, they punish themselves to try to CON-vince themselves not to do the sin or mistake again.

But ... Doing the math, if the Self harm becomes an addiction, some may choose to sin, just so they can self harm again.

Some self harm can also be a cry for help.

Others that do not have experience with self harm might look in with judgment saying why don’t they just ASK someone for help. 

In some cases THEY HAVE or may have attempted to, and they were rejected for help for whatever reason. 

In some cases they can not get the courage to ask someone for help. 

Still others do not feel they have any one to trust enough to ask for help, so they seek methods of self harm which will place marks upon their body such as cutting (in places that others can see the marks or scars such as their wrists or arms) where other people see and naturally worry or question. 

As odd as it sounds, some people harm themselves for attention.

They do it to see WHO would worry over THEM.

Then there are those merely seeking companionship ...

The self harmer naturally thinks that the majority of people might see but still ignore. When someone comes and asks, “what’s goin’ on? Is everything okay?” ... The self harmer feels like that person might actually be a worthy friend because they cared enough to ask. 

OVERCOMING SELF HARM TRUTH ON OVERCOMING SELF HARM SYMPTOMS AND OVERCOMING SELF HARM HOPE

Look at it this way ...

Self injury is a way to express what someone is feeling when they can not find or do not have the words for how they feel. 

For example, a more powerful way to tell someone that you love them is by giving em a hug or a kiss …

An act of love. 

Sometimes words can’t express how you feel about someone. 

The same goes with frustration ... Words can not express the feelings of frustration, anger, shame, guilt, regret, etc, that someone feels … So they put it into a physical act to try to express their feelings and get it out. It is how they feel inside. 

Some people harm themselves to be able to show people how they feel when they are SCARED to use their words. 

Some people who can not cope well, slowly become numb to the world. They become almost like robots. Some people shut down completely and do not even want to get out of bed. Others still go to work or school, but express and even feel lil to no emotion. They have shut down. They are hiding within. 

Self injury gives a temporary feeling back to someone who feels numb. Many self injurers “snap out” of the numbness that they begin to feel by forcing physical pain on their bodies. 

You may be one that does it, or know of someone who does and you can’t grasp why someone would do that to themselves or how you can help them to stop.

Maybe it is YOU and want to quit…. Or maybe you do not want to quit, but want the desire to want to quit. You know it is not good to do, but you feel it helps too much and you can not find any other way to cope. 

So how DO you quit? 

How do you take control? 

How do you make yourself WANT to quit? 

One thing at a time…

REASONS TO QUIT

HOW DOES ONE QUIT THEN?

Most self harm because they don’t know what else to do to escape. 

Which is exactly HOW to quit.

FIND A REPLACEMENT of escape. 

When you feel overwhelmed, make a list of other things you could do instead. keep that list posted everywhere you frequent. Things like writing, listening to music, running/exercise, drawing, painting, write a letter to someone to say hello, pray, read the Bible, recite all the Bible verses you know out loud, memorize verses to recite to yourself out loud.

Be with someone or call someone. It would be great to have one person in your life that knew specifically that you were struggling with it that you could call or even have them call and check on you… like accountability. 

Think about it ... How many people harm themselves with someone sitting next to them? 

VERY few to none. 

When someone harms themselves, they do it alone. (Unless they are doing it as peer pressure to try to fit in.)

 Think about it ...

It is PRIVATE.

It is SECRET.

Sooooooo ... Consider creating a SECRET BOX filled with potential escapes.

What things make you smile? You can place someone’s phone number within the box, pictures of your favorite memories, your favorite uplifting CD, a book that always makes you laugh, a funny movie … Anything that helps YOU feel better.  This box is used when you are struggling. You open it and it gives you options instead of running to harm yourself.

 Here is another idea ...

Hold ice.

Sounds weird? 

If you are into the "physical pain relieving the emotional pain" ideology, this idea might work for you. It gives the sensation of physical pain holding it in your hand or rubbing it on your skin, but it does not leave scars, blood and it doesn’t actually hurt you or anyone in your life as you overcome the addiction of Self Harm.

OVERCOMING SELF HARM TRICKS AND OVERCOMING SELF HARM HABITS

TRIGGERS

What is a trigger?

It is something that brings to mind and heart something negative which then brings forth the concept of self harm.

Find your triggers and avoid them. 

Is there something that typically happens BEFORE you have the desire to harm yourself?  

You might even have several triggers. 

Become familiar with ALL of them so that you can avoid them and/or be able to better deal with them. 

If listening to certain songs triggers you, don’t listen to them. If specific kinds of situations happen that trigger you, avoid those kind of movies or TV shows. (Such as rape scenes might be a trigger a rape victim or survivor, so avoid those shows or movies that talk about rape.) 

Being around a certain person or crowd might trigger you. 

Try to avoid that person or crowd.

It is really a no brainer.

BUT ... You Do have to CHOOSE to do so.

In short ... Take control of your triggers.

Find the source WHY you want to harm yourself. Attack the root of the problem. 

You CAN find replacements all day long and keep yourself from harming, but if you don’t attack the reason of WHY you even have the desire to self harm in the first place, you are merely placing a band-aid on a broken soul.

You are NOT the only one who struggles with self harm.

So many other souls have overcome what you are experiencing.

It is time for YOU to deal with this.

It is time to be healed.

I want to encourage you to take my hand and walk this path of healing with me.