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It's been a long time since I've been back. My life has been so hectic since everything. Noah passed away 12/30/13 from phenomena. While grieving the loss of my first son I found out I'm having another, my now husband and I named him Noah as well (I have gotten much grief from others about naming this baby after my first but it was our choice to honor the baby after his big brother and I do not regret it) I went into ealy labor at 16 weeks on Feb 16th 2014. baby Noah came and left this earth at 11:57pm that night. We had him cremated and I have his ashes beside the bed.
Thing is, I have severe PTSD and lost my job as a crisis hotline investigator because of this (though they said I can come back when I am ready....I am not ready) the images keep me up at night, nable to sleep. I lay awake staring at my husband and the ceiling. I pray and I pray but nothing helps.

I miss my babies so much, a friend of mine suggested I start a blog to document. and i'll be coming here more often as I try to work through this...


http://sweetangelwhispers21614.blogspot.com/

My heart grieves with you and your husband.
I pray for peace and strength for you both.

Timothy

I am so sorry for your loss! ((ChristianMentor20)) I join Timothy in lifting you and your husband up in prayer

It takes time. Grief is such a heavy load. Prayers for you in this time of loss.

I'm glad you are working through this. But be patient with yourself. Balance doing a little more here and there with allowing yourself to grieve. To sit and stare. To sleep for 12 hours. It is okay to grieve. There is a time to weep.

And be prepared for the grief to come back - on his due date. On his birthday. Grief takes years to dissipate - and that doesn't mean vanish.