Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Surrender-

So easy to say...so hard to do. The thought of surrendering all of me, my thoughts, my heart, my actions, my being...scares me like crazy. I'm a controlling person...not of others but of myself. I've been on my own since I was 16 so things have always been what I've made them. For me to lose control of who I am...it will be hard. It's obvious that I haven't done a real good job controlling my own life. That's crystal clear. Now I have to pray for the Holy Spirit to come in and teach me how to let go, how to surrender 150%. I know I can't go on acting like I have it all together when I don't. It's affecting my life in ways that only God knows. I'm not a person that crys alot. I don't cry at weddings, or when someone hurts my feelings...However, I go to church and I cry. I feel this thing deep in my heart...it's sort of like pain but then it feels like a cold/hot empty hole. It's really hard to describe. I pray that's the Holy Spirit in me. I need to let go and not choose what I'm letting go of...I need to let go of all of it! I need to allow Him to do what he wants to do in my life. I need to stop fighting satan and fully realize that it's not my fight. It's His fight and He has, is and will win this and all of my battles. It's so easy for me to write this. It's so simple to see what I'm suppose to do...Now how do I actually do it? me Jesus...

How do you actually do it? Well you have to start somewhere, so start by giving over some things to Him one at a time. You won't let go of everything all at once, but one thing at a time you will.

We tend to want to be in control of things, because we have been so hurt by trusting others in the past...we tend to trust Jesus the same as we trust people...yet Jesus won't hurt us, and He only has the best of plans for us.

So, what's gonna be the first thing you hand over to Him totally?

luv ya sis

Hey sis...I'm attempting to let go of sex at the moment. It's been going ok. I'm not in the ideal living situation for me to be successful at it. I have to get on my feet and move out. I have to have my own place, only then will I be able to let that go. I let go of smoking a year ago...I've fallen off the wagon a couple of times but have gotten back up and have been doing really well. I want to let go of drinking (no I don't have a problem, I rarely drink), it's just not condusive to my faith walk.

Cool, so your working on handing over two items. Sex and alcohol. Well time to lay it all at God's feet...tell Him that you need His help to find you a place to live that you can afford, etc. Just remember if you wait til you think you can afford to move out you won't ever think you can...so when God opens the door and urges you to take the step...jump on out there sis.

luv ya

Praying for you to succeed . . . it is a hard thing . . .

though it is so inferior to how we can be in God's love.

But I still need to do much better, myself,

though I know this.

"He can have compassion on those who are ignorant and going astray,
since he himself is also subject to weakness." (Hebrews 5:2)

"Confess your trespasses to one another,
and pray for one another, that you may be healed.
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (James 5:16)

"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass,
you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness,
considering yourself lest you also be tempted."
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . (Galatians 6:1)

Caring about different people helps me to be more in God's love so I am easily pure and pleasantly satisfied with loving, instead of wanting to use someone just for sensation. But the charming, without there even being love, can get to me - - still But I have women who are real love people, who minister to me to have me in how real love can have me being. And the guys in my group and worship set-up team minister me to be right in real love. So, this is how I need to become, all the time.

I'd say, from my own past, we need to get with the real Christian people and how we can be with them, and not be isolating with some just one person. We can get isolated with someone we suppose will give us what we want and make our dreams come true, but not be getting and growing with the ones who get us into loving and caring for all the brothers and sisters, and caring about ones who are not Christians. One got me with her, then worked to keep me from mixing with the ones who were more good for me than she was. And she was not that good for me.

But after we get clear of whoever is not really caring about us, but is mainly using us . . . now we are going to need to become able to tell the difference about others who may not be so obviously not right for us. I have had one who can share very well in word of counseling and devotion, but never really was able to get me relating with others she knew who would be helping me to become a more real Christian in love > I'm sure a really Christian person for marriage has a Jesus Family of those who have been helping her get right and real with God, and these will help me, also. So, her not having anyone else, really, to challenge and help me to do better . . . kinda made me suspicious. Too isolating. Marriage is a Family blessing with all the others more mature than we are as a couple, and our cups running over to others with how God is blessing us.

And what is *in* us is what is running over to make others the same way. So . . . just stopping the sex is not enough. We need to change the problem that has us available to wrong and inferior things, so we are ministering how Jesus is to our companions and children > "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4)

Oh . . . and about being controlling > I'll bet if we are controlling, this can have us using a controlling approach with our kids. And then we'll be wondering why our children aren't being submissive > well . . . in us, if we ourselves are not deeply submissive with God, how can we be spreading this to our kiddos > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) So, sex is not the main issue, then, but can be a
*decoy* attention getter to get our attention away from what we really need to be dealing with

Wow Comfy that was a mouth full I don't have children, nor am I planning on having any children anytime soon so I'm ok in that area. The reason I want to let go of pre-marital sex is because I know it's wrong and that's what God put on my heart to let go of. My father recently being diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer (due to drinking) was the main reason why I want to give up drinking all together, again, I rarely drink but don't see why I should drink at all when even now I only drink on special occasions. What's the point? I consider myself to be a very caring person. I do all I can to help every and anyone I can (within reason), my boyfriend and I aren't using eachother, we've been together for almost 2 years and deeply care for one another. I just don't think I'm in love with him. I think I saw him as being such a great guy that he had to be a blessing from God and I thought since God put him in my life, I'll surely fall inlove with him sooner or later...but unfortunately that hasn't been the case. He doesn't understand why I don't want to have sex anymore because he sees nothing wrong with it. He's not a spiritual person and I'm trying to minister to him as best I can (another prayer request). I found this website because I googled Christian counseling. I didn't think internet counseling was what I was looking for but for some reason decided to take a look and found such an overwhelmingly wonderful response from everyone here...it's amazing. The only Christian friends I have to talk to are the ones on this website. So who you see responding to me are the people in my life giving me Christian advice.

I appreciate everyone on this website that have so much as sent me a hello and welcome to the people that like you took time out of their day to respond and tell me what is on their heart. Thank you.

Love & Blessings,
inHishands

Psssttt sis, His help often comes from unexpected places God knew you needed Christian support, so when you googled Christian counseling, He sent you here. It has been so awesome to watch you grow, from the day you walked in the door here. You are a blessing to us as well, and we love you a lot.

Thanks sis...I love you guys too.

living with some one who is not living for God can be hard becuse the person dose not understand the things of God. You are doing the right thing by talking to your boyfriend about God. Leting things go can also be hard becuse some times we can be so stubern( I know because that is how I am ). We need to take baby steps, if we try to do to much at once and expect to much at once we become to overwelmed and thats when we could fall from the grce of God. Our enemy likes it when that happens.

You are on the right path and I am happy that you are doing good and still going through the steps. When I hit bottom I to typed in christian counseling and I was lead to Oasis and I have to tell you it has been a blesing.
Just take it one day at a time one problem at a time you will be o.k. when I get up and before I get out of bed I pray and surrender everything to God, I let Him be in control. Then I trust and believe that He is handeling everything.

Keep pressing in you are doing great

B.B.B.

Thank you Bluebird. I love you quote...There is a song Kari Jobe sings called "Be Still". The chorus is "Be still my soul, be still, wait patiently upon the Lord, be still my soul, be still"...so true.

its so amazing to me the way the Holy Spirit works. Even the thought of you googling Christian counceling was a leading from His voice. You arent here by mistake, sis. He led ya here and has been with you all along.

God bless you, sis..and am praying and standing with you through all of this.

Love you,
in Jesus,
momo

Thanks momo...I'm blessed to be here!