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Just got done talking to our 17 yr old ... Yep .. yep .. short of pulling hair , I'm ok .

Please don't get me wrong , very intelligent , smart ..wellll , let me put it this way , his "smarts" are focused elsewhere ok ? .
Now , for a while I had been "preparing" for this talk ... you know , kinda like watching his "moves" , the rationals he uses behind his actions , and the sort , the reason for it being , an effective approach (something I learnt from sponsor - difference between an approach and an effective one) - all the while soaking up all the material I read , believe it or not , here , at the Oasis . Summarizing it all , it hinges on , of course , first , TRUTH , Love , Hope , Charity , Encouragement , and so forth ... Then I got to thinking , "wait a minute , dont ALL of those things mentioned , INCLUDE in Truth ?? , I mean , How can one talk Love unless one talks in truth ? , how can one talk Hope , unless one talks truth , take the TRUTH out of the picture , all the Love , Hope , Charity , Encouragement ... all .. right out the window right ? We even have a nice word for that .. WALK !

So , after a couple more "enough rope to hang themselves with" episode(s) , I said yep , its time . I opted to give him truth , the way things are , "this is what you said , this is what happened , and this is the way things look " simple , direct . Almost two hours at the kitchen table , I get this "I don't SEE anything wrong" My response of course , "I didn't expect you to , that is why I am telling you that there is , and just because you don't SEE it , it does not mean it doesn't exist , and the ONLY reason I am telling you all this is because of , Love , Hope , Charity , and Encouragement , if it weren't for these , I would have your hide by now , (Truth , right ?)

Well , here , .... I'm a bad guy !


Hmm ..... don't worry , I been called a lot worse , I can handle it .

Just tossing this out there , because I KNOW there is/are some out there go through similar situations , Just keep your hair and the kid , do not deter or let ANYTHING deter yo from giving them the TRUTH ... ALL the rest will follow ... WHEN HE SEES FIT , not me .


In Christ , our Lord

Hi Vhan (((((hugs))) i dont have any kids to relate with ya i can pray for you and be a friend. and encourage you best wishes my friend and i love ya.

Hi bro,

I share this as I was led ...

I am in harmony with the fact that TRUTH ... Is a message to be shared.

However, after almost two decades of serving Him ... I have learned VERY well that DELIVERY is everything.

One cannot cast seed which brought forth fruit elsewhere on hardened soil, lest it not take root.

One can not use same bait for one fish ... As another.

One must be able to adapt and improvise as needed, with experience and the SPIRIT OF TRUTH.

In the first analogy ... The soil must be PREPARED and oft times this is a SLOW process, and you and I are perfect examples of this ... Looking BACK.

HOW to deliver the seed of TRUTH depends on the recipient if we follow in our Lord's footsteps.

In the second analogy ... Choosing to use the CON-venient bait will prove to have a fisherman return with an empty net and being called to be fishers of men, you answer NOT to man.

YES ... Jesus was harsh with the Pharisees and Sadduces cuz they KNEW better.

But ... Jesus was ever so gentle with the children and babes on milk cuz He KNEW their heart and condition.

Here is why ...

Luke 12:48 ... But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

As He spoke even of those who gave Him His stripes, which healed us ...

Luke 23:34 ... Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do .......

It is up to HIM within His vessels as to determine the status of each soul and what should be done.

No ONE shoe fits all.

IF we hear HIM and not our own ideology of what should be now that we are where we are ... We will fare well.

In short ... We just need to be sure it is not OUR own expectations of said souls that have us choose what to do as compared to HIS expectations of HIS child whom was placed in our CARE.

To those who can LISTEN ... HEAR.



Luv ya

Vahn,

Boy does that bring back memories! And trust me I'm not laughing at you... I'm laughing with you! Cuz let me tell you, as I'm sure you already know, if you don't learn to laugh, you WILL be crying!

We raised 3 awesome kids... 2 boys~ who were into music. We raised them to LOVE music, and had drums and the works in the house at all times... Of course, they were going to be ROCK STARS one day... even though we never let them listen to anything but Christian music. Also we had a beautiful daughter, who loved everyone...and loved going to church & being a Christian.

It wasn't an easy task let me tell you... we were blessed to be able to put them through Christian School... and even worked in the schools ourselves. Does that make them immune to all the evils out in the world??? WHATEVER!!! It just makes them prepared for when they 'GROW UP' they will see the TRUTH, and the TRUTH WILL SET THEM FREE!

I don't know all the details of the problems but I don't need too. But I can tell you, that as long as you are telling TRUTH, and LIVING TRUTH, he will come around. It may not be today, tomorrow, a year from now. But, he WILL SEE THE TRUTH! If you are who you are at all times, they know you are REAL. Kids now a days don't believe in their parents anymore because they aren't REAL to them. ALL KIDS need REAL PARENTS in their life who are not afraid of making their kids mad at them. I had kids hanging with my kids all the time, the reason, because I showed them LOVE in not giving them what they wanted, but what they needed. Of course, it would make my kids unhappy at times cuz everyone wanted to be here.. But, deep inside, the kids loved it, and were PROUD to have parents that showed such love.

Hang in there, and BELIEVE that the LORD has plans for your son that you can't see right now. Bite your tongue when you want to say things that will NOT be wise to say. But, say the things he needs to hear whether he likes it or not!

My boys are both now deeply involved in Church, but better than that, they are DEEPLY INVOLVED IN THE LORD~~ My oldest had been into the drug/drinking scene for a few years. During that time, he knew what we stood for, but at the same time, he knew our love was unconditional. When he first got saved, he gave a testimony, he said, "I knew I was living in sin, but no matter what I did, I knew my mom was praying for me always, and I knew she loved me no matter what I did. She made me feel welcomed at anytime, never condemning me, just loving me!" WOW!!!

All those prayers, tears, wondering if he was even alive. I would go to bed every night for almost a year weeping and worried about what could be happening to him. Then the Lord said to me one night.... "why are you crying?" ... "Lord, I don't know what is happening to him, I just want to see him get saved!".... "Do you TRUST ME?"... "Yes Lord..always!"... "Do you believe my word?" ... "Yes Lord, totally!"... "Then believe what you have asked for will happen, He will turn his life over to Me and Live a GODLY LIFE. Not only will he live for me, he will help others to KNOW MY LOVE and SERVE ME TOO."..... "I'm sorry Lord for doubting You, thank you for answered prayer!"

He has done all that and more! The other son... doing the same! Amazing how God is in control... it's us who are out of control sometimes... We BELIEVE until satan comes along to plant one of his many seeds of DOUBT. Then the Lord comes along and REMINDS us who is really in control! PTL!!!

My daughter was living for the Lord for quite some time.... then satan came in and played much havoc. But, I am now living with her and things are coming closer everyday for her salvation. She knows the right thing to do and wants to do it. So... everyday... I just say .. "LORD... you have done it with the other 2 I have... I don't doubt that you will do it for her, give me patience to see her through!" He does of course!!!

Well... hope this has encouraged you to see that God will prevail .... we just want it NOW! Just trust it will all be in HIS TIME, and when it happens, stand back and see the SALVATION OF THE LORD!!!

My prayers are with you always.... Keep telling TRUTH.. with LOVE and you will be able to see the results your looking for!

Love in Christ,
Linda

Brothers and sisters , it is ALWAYS comforting to know that there IS a place I can go/come to to hear what I NEED to hear . Our Lord is just like that , He had always told me go to where I AM , that is where you'll hear Me .

There is ABSOLUTELY not even an iota of a doubt in my mind that no matter what , He is the One that WILL prevail in all this . Taking and speaking of all this (replies) in combination , He just made me realize -Through you - what the missing piece of the puzzle is . And I thank you all for choosing to be His instruments to talk to me , and in turn to yet many others .

The term "Say what you mean - Mean what you say - But don't say it mean " Had somehow alluded me .

Thanx for the reminder .


In Christ , our Lord

Love you Vahn

I'm learning to. Thanks for posting. I hear what needs be done.

kids...geez! I feel your pain. Having 2, 21yr olds and 18 yr old and a 15yr old, 2 boys 2 girls, I understand. I have sooooo much trouble meeting their emotional needs in love....because I am the MOM and you just do what I say. Boy, did I have to come off of that.

God has blessed me with 4 saved souls....all saved and baptised by the age of 10. Praise God for a wonderful Chritian exteded family and awesome church with lots of kids programs. I spent many meals discussing how God wanted them to live moral lives and make good Godly choices. BUT....still...satan comes to lie, steal and decieve. My oldest son has been into drugs and alcohol. He has been arrested 2 times before he was 21...he had other problems that caused him to have to leave our house at age 19. I have spent so many sleepless nights praying. It is a hard battle with teens...you just don't know what they are thinking some times. BUT ....I think of the verse in Proverbs 22...train up a child in the way he should go.....and he will not depart from it. I cling to that promise with all of my kids.
God has given you wisdom to share in love and truth Vahn....trust in HIM to use you. You are in my prayers daily.

Hi vahn my precious friend...oh how I can so relate to the woes of raising children...in fact it's taking hours and hours of my time these days...but I'd much rather spend the time needed to guide and direct His children in the direction that will keep them safe...than to spend time doing other things....even if it means giving up some of the few things I've always enjoyed...it's called sacrificing self ya know...and sometimes we have to sacrifice our own direction for theirs...

Hang in there....one day you will be able to look back and say...it was worth being the "bad guy" if I can help save his life.

luv ya