New heart, fresh start

[Dora]

Wow you sound like you are able to grasp more peace even in the midst of these difficult moments. I'm glad you got some rest.

Keep Letting go and letting God sis. May you find continual peace in Him during the storms.

[Dora]

Where Are You Getting Your Inspiration?

Inspire means to stimulate to motion by divine influence. It means to motivate, affect or touch. But I think the most awesome definition of inspire is "to breathe on".

So my question today is "where are you getting your inspiration"? Who are you allowing to breathe on you? Who is motivating you or influencing you? Who or what are you allowing to affect or touch your life?

It is God's desire that He be the sole influence or motivator in your life.

What do you think motivated Jesus to do what He did? To lay down His life and to die on a cross for us. To give up His Godly state to take on the sins of the world.

What a powerful influence. The influence of love. God is love.

He allowed the breadth of life (which is God) to breathe on Him (He is God) and cause Him to make the sacrifice of life (which was His life) so that we could live (In Him).

Everything that God has done, was done by Him, in Him, and through Him. All He desires is that we now live for Him.

Let your inspiration come solely from God and nothing else. In doing so you will always live and walk in the love of God and everything that you do will be blessed by Him.

I thought this was really good.

[goldieluvs]

awwwwwwww pine ty sis awesome. thanks for sharing. Inspiring and something ima have to work on. walk in the love of God. wonder what that looks like??

Again i find myself away from here, various reasons, mostly have to do with that m word (ME). I hurt my foot trying to get Annie in the house the other day, I think it may finally be starting to mend. Seeing as how i go to dr tomorrow.... oh well, am going anyways. Trying to read in the Word of an evening. Sometimes i am able to block out the world... speaking of the world... wonder how many people are feeling silly for believing it was going to end last night????

Annie is starting to do better and better. She wants to go down the stairs to get outside but i still carry her, her leg is not healed enough. She is moving around better and putting more weight on her leg. Talked with vet about quality not quantity of life. She is still on her special diet. Her thyroid level came out well. Her hair is coming back in lots of places. She still limps and its still hard for her to get up, but all in all i feel blessed that God has given her to me for a lil longer.

Work is taxing, though i am grateful i am employed. Am officially behind on my house payment, not a good feeling. So, one more thing to work on. No bonus available through work to help cuz the team i work, since i am only one the company cant bill. Makes things a lil easier for now work wise, not so much financially but all in due time i guess. Guess i need to call mortgage company. I guess 45 day late payment will be better than nothing. Maybe can make a lil up at a time.

Not doing good with the whole home life. Every fiber in my being says to get this person out. But for some reason fear comes behind that. (ya know where u get threats about stuff) and idk, am just really tired of it all. Anyways doctor on Monday... one day at a time. I reminded roommate that deadline is approaching (still no job, well had one and got fired and hasnt looked since) little to no help around house. Says June is a good month for a funeral. Am trying to come up with Christian response. But how Christian is it if i really do not want him here and just let him stay for well, fear basically. fear of what will happen if law comes out to make him leave. fear of what will happen to him. fear. ewwww yucky word. Well tonight im claiming peace found in Jesus. cuz thats wat i need tonite. Hopefully things will settle down before long.......

[goldieluvs]

Seems like i only come on here once a week anymore. Annie is doing better, she is putting more weight on her bad leg. She walks a lil crooked and i am trying to figure out whether to try to build a ramp into the house so she can just walk outside (though she might fall off it) or to just keep carrying her in blanket. Idk if she will ever be able to walk normal again. She weighs heavy on my heart and mind alot.

Getting new peeps for team at work. So, once everyone knows wat to do, will hopefully reduce my stress level. Storms keep coming through. This last one was amazing, tornado force winds came up like two roads down from my house, idk if a tornado actually touched down but believe it or not power stayed on... amazing cuz seems like ever since i have lived here everytime there is a big storm i lose power. Power company came and cut back two front trees that were in the power lines. It looks really pitiful. i wish they had just cut them completely down.

Seems lately i am just numb. Always tired. Beautiful day outside and i dont even want to go out and enjoy it. Guess i will cut grass later this evening. Have a few limbs i wanna get outta the way. Day to day living. Focus not where it should be. I know God is waiting on me and yet i remain frozen.

[goldieluvs]

Been thinking about a brother that i havent seen in such a very long time. Miss you and love u. i know ur in God's Hands.

[goldieluvs]

wow i havent written in here in awhile. Ok, so like i got this really cool tool called electric lopper (being afraid of chainsaws) and boy that sucker works purdy good. My yard is less like a jungle, i was afraid it was going to overtake the house. Gotta scan some estimates and send to insurance adjustor so can get roofs fixed. And now i also need a plumber. My kitchen was flooded. So, now no water in kitchen, no washing clothes and no washing of dishes (hey maybe not such a bad deal after all ) House is a lil stinky.yuck! IDk wat a plumber costs but i have a feeling its not going to be cheap. So, i may have to put off the whole eviction thing. Not exactly what i would like to do, but i gotta get house fixed.

I came home yesterday and phone didnt work and couldn't turn anything on in puter room. After a quick inspection, i determined that my surge protector had bit the dust but YAY the puter is safe

Ok so work i think is starting to maybe settle down. Am fully staffed now. Hopefully they will stay and actually do some work too (such a novel concept it appears these days)

Neices graduating from high school. Family July 4th thing coming up. While i am busy sometimes think im like a chicken running around with its head chopped off... overall i have more hope so that's a good thing.

Hmmm, this journal is posed to be about reaching people yet that hasnt been my focus for awhile now. I need to figure out a forum and ask phan to move it to

ok well a storm is a brewing.... GBU

[goldieluvs]

Today has been an awesome day! Two of my neices graduated high school and are planning their futures. Spent some time with the family . Ok yeah i went to parents cuz i had to wash clothes ( i really need to get in touch with plumber across the street ). My nephew decided he wanted to go swimming and starts taking his clothes off in the garage and he doesn't have a bathing suit so i asked him was gonna swim naked and he said noooooooooo im gonna swim in my undies .I played in the pool with my youngest neice and nephew (9 and 10). It was fun to play like a lil kid for awhile. I had watched JAWS last night so we played like sharks in the pool.... kids just laughed and were so happy. I showed them how to make water spit from your hand, (you know like you pretend you caught a frog and spit water out) they really enjoyed learning how to do that.

My youngest brother was helping put up metal roofing on the building. That was interesting to watch. You just slap it right on top of the roof thats already there. I kinda wondered how loud it would be when storms come but its guaranteed for forty years, so it must be some pretty good stuff. Sun was out and hot.

I went to the graduation cook out for one neice (yep in my bathing suit ) ok i put on some pants too but i looked like well, i had been swimming so my hair was a mess and of course my older brother wanted to take a pic. I told my neice congratulations and she hugged me. (she is daughter of my sister in law, not blood and she spent many years not really accepting us). So, that was totally awesome because it felt like she was finally ok that we were part of family too.

Oh and i learned something.... flies bite. like regular flies (not horse flies)... i dont recall ever noticing that before but i got bit like six times while i was outside at my parents. Makes me wonder if they r new flies cuz of all the storms.

I come home and we take Annie outside on a blanket. I left her outside for a few and then heard her barking. So i go outside to get her and she is back on the blanket with a big grin on her face just waiting to be picked back up and carried inside. It was really cute and funny to see. She is walking a little better but it is still very hard for her and i wont let her go outside and try to get up and down steps so she get carried.

I get on FB for a little while and a friend had posted some awesome inspirational vids. Today i am at peace and enjoying life. I'm treasuring today because it seems that those kind of days dont come often enough. Perhaps it is simply a matter of perception. Well something to ponder on another day cuz today i am just gonna be like a kid and enjoy it all.

[goldieluvs]

Happy Father's Day to all the dads! I called my dad (not bio, adopted; dang i am tired of having to clarify... ok for future reference my dad is my adopted dad bio father is bio father,, yay got that solved . Ok so i call him to tell him Happy Father's Day and he is going to work on pool house. Not much left to do and he was like come on over and help.. well we had another storm here late yesterday afternoon and although it wasn't bad i got lots of lil limbs and stuff to get outta the yard and bushes to trim and grass to cut, not to mention the house ugh. Ok so i tell him i love him and he says ok it's kinda funny how he can't say he loves us kids. But he can tell the grandkids (maybe cuz they still young, idk) Either way it's good cuz i know he loves me. Ok so yay my plumbing now works!!! Dishwasher still doesn't so that's kinda a bummer but at least i have water to wash em in :D

Yesterday my mom took me shopping. Boy we found a DEAL! We got New Balance rock n tone shoes for 12.74 a pair. (mom said God blessed her because he knew she is on a fixed income now ). It was good to spend some time with her. We both ended up with two pairs . And nope they weren't knock offs cuz we got em at Belk's. I think they had them entered into the system wrong, either way she paid what they said they cost.

Overall work is going better, still busy like you wouldn't believe but at least i have a team lead now and she's willing to work so YAY on that. I called someone i used to work with to see if they were interested for the other position on the team. Shes a hard worker too and she is interested. IDK if she will get the job, but she said she was going to apply cuz she was just told yesterday that she was being laid off end of the month.

I slept late, well i got up early actually and then went back to bed. Now i think it's about time to do some stuff outside (if nothing else pick up the sticks for the burn barrel til everything dries up) So, now i wonder how red neck my neighbors think i am since i have a burn barrel in my back yard. Neighbors on both sides are older and more or less retired so they have lots of time to work in their yards, and the lady i got the house from also worked in the yard alot. Needless to say, mine isn't as nice as theirs and i think it bothers them cuz they lived next door to the lady for idk like twenty years. Well, a person can only do what they can do. So all is good with me.

IDK if i am going to get a new roof or not. I do have some hail and wind damage, but when i called the adjuster after faxing in the estimates he said the company was sending out adjusters behind him and some are being told no and some they agree need to be fixed (guess they spent too much money or something). Either way i am prepared. I figure if we keep having storms then it will get fixed anyways but you never can tell with insurance companies. Go figure. I mean its like you pay premiums every month but let a big storm come through (or two or three or four, i done lost count) and they wanna fight about paying to get stuff fixed.

I have learned that Annie cant get down the stairs by herself and she certainly can't get up them. She did make it down once and the second time she fell. she didnt make it up first time. So she still gets carried out for now and im thinking about trying to get someone to build a ramp so she can get in and out. Overall i think she is doing better. And even though she has a hard time, she just looks at me with this huge grin on her face and i think she's happy. I wanna take her back to vet and see if she has lost more weight. I hope she has cuz she still needed to lose about thirty more lbs when i had taken her back the second time. Ok sounds like someone is hammering or something outside at neighbors house, so i guess thats my cue to step outside and start working.

[goldieluvs]

Ok I NEVER thought i would need or even admit this.................... i need a man around the house, just to do manly things. This home ownership requires ALOT of work. And there is lots that i don't know how to do. (though i prolly could take a class or four at Lowe's.)

Ok, its out now............................... gotta get busy. Family is coming up next week and i got more to do so much that i am overwhelmed and while i have started, i see this HUGE amount of work that needs to be done. Perhaps a lesson in procrastination....

[goldieluvs]

Past few days, i have caught a couple lines i wanna share.

Will you teach me how to pray? I only know one way to pray, that is with my heart.

Well, What do you pray for? I pray for God to show me what i can do for Him today.

i also saw someone online asking how to pray. There's a study here and tho i admit i haven't read it
I do know that it is Holy Spirit inspired....
http://www.christianityoasis.com/Keywor ... Prayer.htm

There's so much to learn here. It's amazing.

Ok, well still working on the house. Slowly coming together. Would help if i took less breaks
While i will thoroughly enjoy spending time with the fam; i could sure do without the stress and work that's involved. Oh well, step by step.......

[xxJILLxx]

Amen goldie

I hope you are making progress with your home

Love ya!

♥Jill

[goldieluvs]

4th of July is always a special time for me. I get to see lots of family that i don't get to see except for this time of year. So far, it has been filled with special moments, some drama (hey its family after all ) some sadness. Two people are fixing to leave for the airport. Several left yesterday after we got the call. My cousin had died at the beach. Coroner is supposed to call back sometime today to give us an idea of what happened. All we know right now is that it was 10 months to the day after his wife passed from cancer that he died. Lots of speculation. Don't really know wat else to type right now. think i will come back later n try again