Christian Marriage Therapy

Christian Marriage Tips

Christianity Oasis has provided this Christian Marriage Therapy quest for peace by sharing how to save my Christian marriage tips. This path reveals truth as to bring forth understanding as to restore peace within.


Christianity Oasis
Til Death Do Us Part
Page 2


True Christian Marriage Therapy

How To Save My Christian Marriage Tips

Welcome to our Christianity Oasis Til Death Do Us Part study program. This is our SON-derful Save My Marriage Bible Study looking into How to save my Christian marriage tips and how this Christian Marriage Therapy can regenerate your be-YOU-tiful Christian marriage.

Start our Til Death Do Us Part program from the beginning:

Welcome Back!

Christian Marriage Therapy Hope
Learn How to Save My Christian Marriage Tips

I'm so glad that you decided to keep walking and talking with me. Your efforts will soon be rewarded. We have learned from the last page that we should be very careful when playing the blame game or judging others when it involves something as intimate and sacred as marriage.

When we sense problems within our marriage, we need to seek out the root of the problem After talking with thousands of souls about failing and failed marriages, it has become painfully obvious that the number one source of and reason for failure in a marriage, began with the state of Loneliness in one or both of those within said marriage. Many entered a marriage because they were lonely and many others became lonely while in the marriage.

So, let us begin there.

Loneliness

Are you tired of being alone because you are single? Are you married and lonely, even with your spouse in the same room? Are you looking to never have your marriage fall into the same trap of the mind and heart?

The problem with being lonely, besides the obvious feeling, is that being lonely leaves us vulnerable. The world offers many lures for those who are experiencing this and the enemy of our soul has no problem whispering his lies of greener grass on the other side of the fence, to those who get lonely in a marriage.

In an effort for the soul to avoid being lonely, many seek to meet someone else as to fill the void within. It usually starts off as seeking a friend to talk to. Even with married souls, it oft times begins as an "innocent chat" with a stranger ... Tho there are some married souls who, deep within, premeditate and hope that the newly found friendship will escalate into something more.

The problem is when single souls are lonely and seek someone, most of the time, they appear to be what you seek at first, but soon they change and you find yourselves staying with them out of some sort of convenience, obligation or habit.

Then, after wasting months and even years of our life ... The relationship ends anyway.

But, does this mean the marriage was not to be?

Or is it the day to day negative reactions and emotions changing the spirit of the marriage?

Despite the Truth ... After this, many souls become encaged by fear due to those past negative experiences in marriage and they create a wall, an armor of sorts, around the heart to protect it from the potential of being hurt again. Some even become bitter towards any soul who approaches them with any type of interest in fear they will be hurt. The trust factor is in shambles.

On the other hand, some choose the other path of pride, anger and bitterness and make foolish choices, which causes more pain, sorrow and even shame.

This applies to the married souls as well and they unleash this misery on their spouse, family and everyone around them when their spirit is negatively affected by negative thoughts.

Divorce is usually the outcome.

Then after a period of fear, doubt, anger, misery, scorn and/or vengeance which has them make even more foolish choices, they discover that the void within is not being filled ... They begin to set forth to find love again. The past failure haunts them. If they have children, it is even worse because they have to defend their children's little hearts, as well as their own. It can become lonely and cause one to lose faith in themselves, others and even love itself.

During all this, we know deep inside that God did not intend for us to be in such misery.

We know that God did intend for us to be happy in our marriage.

This brings us to another problem and that is the sexual desires of one or both, not being satisfied by the other. This is not a new thing ... But, it is something that needs to be addressed.

You see, it is written in God's Word that those who have sexual passions should marry as to avoid fornication.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2

1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

The Corinthians were surrounded by sexual temptation. Sounds like today's world huh? We can't watch a commercial, drive past a billboard, walk into a store, without hearing, seeing or being exposed to sexual temptations. Knowing this, we should be more understanding of our spouse's exposure to these lures and resulting need for sexual fulfillment. So let's discuss this a little bit, shall we?

Christian Marriage Therapy and Grace
How to Save My Christian Marriage Tips

To begin with ... It is not recommended that couples have extended time apart.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.


The dictionary defines incontinency as:

the incapacity to hold back or restrain; failure to restrain the passions or appetites; indulgence of lust

In short ... Paul is saying that married people should not stay away from one another too long as to avoid making poor choices from their sexual needs not being met.

Too much time apart gives each person the time to allow their thoughts to wander and wonder. This can cause fear, doubt, confusion, anger and pride ...

For many, this is a natural reaction because of their own past experience, stories they have been told or just watching a little television.

Most do not question how much their spouse loves them while cuddling, sharing a romantic dinner or in the middle of love making.

No ... Most get these horrible thoughts and resulting emotions when they are away from their spouse. Especially for an extended amount of time which is yet another reason this "come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency" rule of thumb should be applied to your marriage.

The Bible seems to be suggesting that sex should not be withheld from either partner for any length of time.

Marriage is consummated through the sexual union, and the two partners become "one flesh" ...

Sexual temptations are very hard to overcome. When a spouse tends to ignore the needs or desires that the other has, they may eventually go and find it elsewhere.

I am not saying this is righteous ...

I am saying that God has given married souls natural and normal desires to be intimate with one another ...

By not satisfying the other's needs, you are "defrauding" the other. If there is a reason one does not want to be intimate, talk to the other one. Find the root problem, and then you can resolve it instead of having to deal with one "cheating" on the other because one did not want to satisfy the other's sexual desires.

Christian Marriage Therapy and Sex
How to Save My Christian Marriage Tips Cure

Remember, in marriage, our bodies do not belong to us anymore. Spiritually our body belongs to God. Physically, our bodies belong to our spouse.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Remember ... The Lord tells us that two become one through the union of a wife and husband. Same team!

How do you think your spouse feels when you say "I'm not in the mood" or show lack of interest? It is as though one takes a blessed gift from God and turns it into a chore! So after days, weeks, months, even years of craving their spouse and being rejected time after time ... Filling the void of loneliness combined with the natural sexual passions becomes essential. They will oft times find other means to fulfill their desires.

Again ... No, what they do is not justified by any means ... But, if their needs would have been met by the spouse ... They would not have felt compelled to do so.

It usually doesn't happen after just one time. In most cases, the Love they had usually takes time to erode to the point that they would actually cheat.

But, the enemy of our soul has many lures for a soul left in such a condition. It's more of a slow fade into a crumbling relationship.

Christian Marriage Therapy for Slow Fade
How to Save My Christian Marriage Tips and Tricks

Slow Fade
by Casting Crowns

Be careful little eyes what you see
It's the second glance that ties your hands
as darkness pulls the strings
Be careful little feet where you go
For it's the little feet behind you that are sure to follow

Chorus:
It's a slow fade when you give yourself away
It's a slow fade when black and white have turned to gray
Thoughts invade, choices are made, a price will be paid
When you give yourself away
People never crumble in a day
It's a slow fade, it's a slow fade
Be careful little ears what you hear
When flattery leads to compromise, the end is always near
Be careful little lips what you say
For empty words and promises lead broken hearts astray

Chorus
The journey from your mind to your hands
Is shorter than you're thinking
Be careful if you think you stand
You just might be sinking

Chorus
Daddies never crumble in a day
Families never crumble in a day
*Oh be careful little eyes what you see
Oh be careful little eyes what you see
For the Father up above is looking down in love
Oh be careful little eyes what you see*

It's time to be honest with ourselves okay?

Do we stay faithful to our spouse?

Wait ... Before you answer right away ... Let me reword it in a few different ways ... Here is a little checklist:

  • Have you ever looked at someone else thinking they are attractive?
  • Have you ever passed by someone and smiled in a flirtatious way?
  • Have you ever worn something to draw attention to any part of your body?
  • Have you ever look at another's body when they were trying to draw attention to it?
  • Have you ever sat too close to someone of the opposite sex?
  • Have you ever made a flirtatious statement to anyone other than your spouse?
  • Have you ever been unfaithful in any way to your spouse?

If the answer is yes, its time to change.

The Lord says that if you look upon another with lust, you have committed the act:

Matthew 5:28

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Would you mind someone else:

  • Looking at your spouse's body with lust?
  • Smiling at your spouse flirtatiously?
  • Sitting too close to your spouse?
  • Saying something flirtatious to try to get your spouse?

I would hope you would mind a little.

After all it is yours.

1 Corinthians 7:4-5

4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.
5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Same team, remember? Your body is not to be shared and passed around, just as their body is not. It can all start with wearing a revealing outfit outside or making eyes at someone walking by causing them to commit Spiritual adultery.

As Jesus said:

Matthew 5:28

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

But alas ... If you do not grasp the Truth that has been shared, please consider this:

1 Corinthians 6:19

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

Christian Marriage Therapy for Lost Love
How to Save My Christian Marriage Tips to Use

Your body is not yours to give away. No matter what. Here is a song to consider as we try to learn what love is really about again.

Song of Solomon
by Sara Groves

Disenchanted love, and an intimacy that's broken
A symbol of all trust used to self gratify
In the middle of it all, Solomon is singing
You are my bride, my perfect one
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
The goodness of human love is taken for granted
We turn it into a lust that tears us apart
We give up God's gifts for dust and ashes
And blame Him for the pain growing our hearts
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
I'm for you and you're for me and we've been set apart
Place me like a seal over your heart
I'm for you and you're for me and we've been set apart
Place me like a seal over your heart
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Sweet song of Solomon
Remind us of love much purer than our own
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon
Keep on singing, Solomon

Grab tight to your love and don't leave them. Don't give the devil time to plant seeds in their mind. Don't give them a reason to want to go elsewhere to be satisfied.

Solomon's Song
by Plumb

Dark is the night
Calm is the sea
Soft blows the wind
Through the evening trees
Tired are the eyes
That have seen all you've seen
Just let your mind
Start to dream
mmm ...(repeats)
Puddles of rain
Dry overnight
Stars in the sky
Twinkle in their eyes
The curls on your head
Your fingers and toes
All need their rest
For tomorrow
I will never leave you
I am always here
I will never leave you
I am always near.
Dark is the night
Calm is the sea
Soft blows the wind
Through the evening trees
Tired are the eyes
That have seen all you've seen
Just let your mind
Start to dream
mmm ...(repeats)

Christian Marriage Therapy Instructions
How to Save My Christian Marriage Tips for Today

Let's ponder on everything from today. What changes do we need to make? What things do we need to admit to ourselves? What ways can we keep the marriage from fading? Once we stop it from fading ... Then we can truly restore it!

It is all about Love.

Check out this excellent study on Love:


*Be sure to save this page if you do not have forum saved* to your favorites so you can return when you're ready to take the next Step, and may God's Grace and blessings be with you, every day of your life.