Stone 1- Getting Through.
My name is Hope,
I've been struggling emotionlly for quite a while with various issues since I was a kid. I recently came back to Christianity because I was scared and knew no where else to turn. I'm in school for Psychology trying to find answers to why people act the way they do ..or how it's possible for them to treat others in such harmful ways. I was raised in an abusive household with a mentally ill Mother and a Father that was an alcoholic. I put myself into bad situations and probably let the devil get a good foothold on me. I've been diagnosed Bipolar mixed type, and have PTSD.
My problem is that it seems like some things aren't just caused by my mood disorder but almost like there's an oppresive force that wants to constantly torture my brain with guilt and shame from past events that I have a hard time forgiving myself for.
Where is the line where you can differentiate when it's a mood disorder or when your being spiritually attacked? As soon as I started turned my life to Christ a few months back, it's like clockwork when the negativity starts around me. I prayedthis morning after waking from my normal crippling dreams asking Jesus to take the pain and stop my head, no later than a half hour out of nowhere my husband and I get into a fight... I prayed while it was happening and it was a complete turn around in a few minutes. Am I crazy? Or can this really happen?
My disorder can lead to delusional thinking so I can't sort through it sometimes. Any advice.....I came here to get closer to God and get as much spiritual help as possible to help me overcome this.
Thank You for listening
Hope
I've been struggling emotionlly for quite a while with various issues since I was a kid. I recently came back to Christianity because I was scared and knew no where else to turn. I'm in school for Psychology trying to find answers to why people act the way they do ..or how it's possible for them to treat others in such harmful ways. I was raised in an abusive household with a mentally ill Mother and a Father that was an alcoholic. I put myself into bad situations and probably let the devil get a good foothold on me. I've been diagnosed Bipolar mixed type, and have PTSD.
My problem is that it seems like some things aren't just caused by my mood disorder but almost like there's an oppresive force that wants to constantly torture my brain with guilt and shame from past events that I have a hard time forgiving myself for.
Where is the line where you can differentiate when it's a mood disorder or when your being spiritually attacked? As soon as I started turned my life to Christ a few months back, it's like clockwork when the negativity starts around me. I prayedthis morning after waking from my normal crippling dreams asking Jesus to take the pain and stop my head, no later than a half hour out of nowhere my husband and I get into a fight... I prayed while it was happening and it was a complete turn around in a few minutes. Am I crazy? Or can this really happen?
My disorder can lead to delusional thinking so I can't sort through it sometimes. Any advice.....I came here to get closer to God and get as much spiritual help as possible to help me overcome this.
Thank You for listening
Hope
Boy reading your condition was like reading a page from my councilors note pad.
So I completely understand what you are going through. I went through the CCC and let me tell you did it ever Bless me. Just remember to take one day at a time. Even when it is tempting to move ahead. Posting in your journal is a great help too. Or at least it was for me. It gave me a chance to express how I was feeling about that days lesson and then I got support from my CO family as you will. So you are in the right place for Christian support and understanding. Keep up the good work and I look forward to following along with ya.