Christianity Oasis Member Forum & Chat Room

Hi All,

I am new to this forum and I was wondering if anyone had any good advice. There is a single gentleman whom I believe God has called me to be a friend to. God confirmed this through His word and I read a post through the friendship forum which explains what I am experiencing. I have spent and continue to spend time praying for him as he is going through a difficult time, and have not heard from him in some months. I like him and I am trying not to like him other than platonically as I do not believe God has called me to be his spouse. Do you have any advice? I keep quoting the scripture "thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's spouse"

Thanks

Hi cacarab,
Interesting post. Firstly, as a male, I can understand your situation if I imagine to insert myself into your shoes, and imagine that the gentleman you are refering to is a lady.
Obviously, I can't know the whole story about the situation you outlined, and I don't need to. But I gathered (maybe reading between the lines a little too much, I don't know) that your feelings for the gentleman are in a grey zone, ie. you feel compelled by The Lord that this association should remain platonic, but maybe the gentleman has some sort of appeal.
If he is not married, this is not necessarily a negative thing. In fact, it is of course quite natural. But I noticed you quoting the bible re. not coveting a neighbour's spouse. So, I would say that if he is married, then the situation is a good deal more complicated.
As a young married man I am constantly having to ask myself similar questions and re-evaluate my behaviour on a regular basis, ie. if an attractive woman walks past me in the street, is it wrong for me to glance at her a second time after my first glimpse of her? (This is just one of many such situations). I refer to this example only to assure you I don't pretend to be the man with all the answers, but someone with somewhat similar issues to face on a daily basis.
In a nutshell, maybe the situation has changed since your original post, making this reply of mine somewhat obsolete. Therefore, I will at this point reserve offering too much advice. It's good that you are asking yourself such questions, and being guided by The Lord. I will pray to Him that he continue to guide you strongly in this situation.
If you have the time, it would be interesting to hear an update from you on this situation.
God bless you.

hello and bless this day for you cacarab.
I am an older woman who is married but for some sad reasons am currently in a separted relationship with my husband of many many many years.
My first response to your post was to commend you for continuing to keep your friend in prayer for whatever his situation is. That is what a good true friend does.
But honestly there is an uneasy feeling when you have to remind your self not to "covet".
If this man is married, does his wife know of your friendship? Things need to be in the light and also to be above board on moral value, and not to engage yourself with him in anyway that might be taken in an incorrect manner. For if there is "coveting" involved then there are all ready boundaries being pushed.
If I am wrong then please forgive me for these were my first thoughts and feelings.
I do hope whatever this is can be worked through within the WILL of God for He is the absolute judge on what and how we live our life each day.
May you find the Lord's direction and counsel on this matter.
Carely