Day 4 of MCFC Two by Two

[loveiskind]

I did this study yesterday, but because of emotional troubles, I didn't get to post about it. Negative thoughts invaded my mind and had me upset for a long while. Sometimes I can stop them with no problem, but other times, like last night, I feel weak and powerless.

Anyway, about peer pressure. I can't remember ever having dealt with peer pressure in school, but I did after I graduated. I posted about that in my first MCFC Step 4 blog. But looking at peer pressure from family, I did deal with and fall into that. Since it came from my mom, I felt I had no choice. I felt forced to believe about myself what she believed (or seemed to) about me--that I was ugly, stupid, wouldn't amount to anything, etc. If my opinion of something differed from hers, she would be angry with me.

Regarding relationships. Although I wouldn't mind being in a relationship, if it were with a Godly guy, I know that I'm definitely not ready for one. A friend told me a while back about some people not being called to marry. I know she was trying to get me to feel better, and it did help some. Sometimes, though, I do get lonely, ans wish I had someone to just hold me.

The part about faith reminded me of the time my brother got angry with me, saying i didn't have any faith. It was right after my sight went bad. On Saturday nights, people from local churches would be on tv, singing, talking, and praying for people. He would call every group of people, every Saturday night, to ask them to pray for me, then call me to see if my sight was better. When I'd say no, he'd be angry, saying I didn't have faith that God would restore my sight. I finally told him that I had accepted it, because for all I knew, God had a plan for me. He was still angry about that for a long time. (I can't help feeling that at least part of the plan was to get me to start seeing people with my heart instead of with my eyes.)

Can't wait for today's study!

[Mackenaw]

Hello Loveiskind,

God bless you, dear sis.

You never fail at melting my heart. Oh wow, The Holy Spirit flow through you is so gentle and so sweet and so very loving.

Love and hugs,
Mack

[mlg]

love, it's so funny about you saying you did the step and didn't get to post. I was just able to finish step 4, I'm going to post about it, but I want to tell you remember where it says in this step that satan will mess with you to try and pull you away from God? Sis, I don't think he likes the fact that you and I are doing these steps. It seems like ever since I decided to do this program, I too have been held up on each of these steps. Satan, is trying to hold us back it seems. I have one word for that meanie though, we will finish and he needs to just step away. Ok, I'm off to post on step 4. I'm still behind you one, but I will do step 5 tomorrow. love ya sis, keep on pushing on through the steps.