Marks or signs of a call (But what happened?)

[musician561]

For sometime in my life I have feel this longing and "tugging at my heart" for a job that I recently held...and lost. For almost 15 to 17 years, or from the time I was in undergraduate school, I'd had this feeling. The feeling was one where I believed that God wanted me to "do something" at my undergraduate college, or more specifically, in my undergraduate choir. I've been singing in a choir since I was in the 4th grade. I grew up singing choral music all my life. I'd so, so many wonderful experiences until those experience shape my life and my thinking. I really believed that God, through Music and singing in harmony, thought me a valuable life lesson.

So now to the issue of being "Called". There was a time, I believ in my sophmore o junior year, where I "strongly felt" that the Lord wanted me to do something in my undergraduate choir. The reason for this feeling was that I choral program wasn't functioning the way that I was use to. The director was old, mean, and wasn't teaching the way that I'd be acustomed to. The students were extreemly talented, but they were not being taught. The director was self centered and was a very "powerful, prideful" person. She woudln't allow the Music majors to help, or gain experience in what we were training in other claasses to do. To make a long story short, I felt robbed and cheated in my education as a choral conductor. I'd live with this anger, desire for a mentor/teacher, for those 15-17 years! So much so, that I couldn't get rid of it. I'd prayed and asked God to show me what I was to do and to be honest, I desired that job/position for a long time. I went to graduate school and got my Master's degree so that when the time came, I could appy for the job. It was about 10 years after my Masters, that I had finally either ran out of patience, or was feel so "unfulfiled" in my career, that I attempted to get my Ph. D. Now this whole experience is another can of worms, so I won't go into details. But for just a little information, I was married, had one son, took a leave of absence from my job to go to school, lost our home in the process, went through anxiety and deppression because I was not accepted, and now I'm still reaping the benifits from it. Also add, some type of "spiritual mis-information or guidance, and you have the perfect storm to either ruin a persons life (if you let it) or turn you away from God.

Soooo, after all of this, I went back to my teaching job and low and behold, one day while stopping by Bestbuy, I ran into the band director of my undergraduate college. He told me that the department was looking for an assistant choral person. I told him that I was ready for that job 20 years ago! Well, they hired me and I assisted. To be honest, the director was everybit of 80 to 85 years old...and they wanted her gone! (But they didn't know how to get rid of her because she had sooooo much clout) I had help out for one semester (the spring) and when school ended, they told the director that she would be emeritus status and that they would look to hire someone. Wellll, I had did such a wonderful job for one semester...(which should have been for only 4 months)....I ended staying the full semester.

At the end of the year, the position was advertised and I applied. I only had my Master's and they wanted a person with a Ph. D. But you know, I had held to the belief that I was "called" for that postion. Now my desire was for this to be the one job where I could "rest" and have a life and career after all of the turmoil that me and my family had gone through..and by the way, I had anthoer son during that time....

So about July, or two weeks before the start of the school year, they hadn't hired a replacement. The person that they wanted actually turned them down. I knew him failly well and to be honest, I was hurt..maybe alittle jealous....but I sucked it all up and put aside my feeling and actually told him that if he was hired, I 'd do my best to create something he could work with. I 'd watched him as a teacher and the program that he'd built and knew that he was "called" to do what he had done. Either way, I felt that he would have been perfect...or "more called" than me to do what needed to be done. Like I'd said, he'd turned them down.

So I spent the next school year as the interim director. You can almost see God working things out for me. Throughout the whole year, the work that God had allowed me to do was recieved very well. Word was spreading thoughout that "the program was in good hands" Alumni were happy, the President, dean, and even trustees were all recieveing letters from the people and place where we performed. It really looked like this were going to work out. Now mind you, I was STILL working as a public school teacher and a community choir director. I had 3 jobs!

All was going well, until the event happened. I call it the event because this is where I pose some questions to anyone who read this long post....and has felt "called by God to do something. "Was I really called?" "What am I called to do now?"

I will post part 2 later. God bless. Help!

[mlg]

Hello musician561,

Sometimes God calls us to a job...and we are called there for a reason...but sometimes His calling for us changes paths...and He takes us in new directions. Either way if you feel God called you to a place...He just may have for a season...and sometimes it's long term. I've learned over time that if God is in it...He opens the doors and makes the pathway a smooth walk...but if you find that the pathway is narrowing...sometimes you are either on the wrong path...or the path you have been walking has come to an end...and it's time for a new path.

Keep sharing.

Take care

[realtmg]

I have noticed there has not been a post here for nearly 2 months now.
Has God quit calling or do we have our ears closed?..
Looking forward to hearing from people who have been called.

GBU All

Real.......