WHAT IS SELF HARM?
WHY WOULD ANYONE SELF HARM?
SELF HARM ... EVERYONE HAS DONE
THIS IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE.
OTHERS DO IT OFTEN AND IT HAS BECOME AN ADDICTION. THEY HAVE
FALLEN INTO A VICIOUS CYCLE AND LIVE IN A DARKNESS FEW WOULD
COMPREHEND MUCH LESS UNDERSTAND.
What do you do when you can not
cope with things in your life? What do you do when do
not WANT to cope? What do you
when you feel the need to escape from the pressures of this
world? What do you do when you feel like you deserve some
kind of a punishment for something you feel that you have
done wrong or have been wronged by another and blame
yourself? What do you do when you want to focus your mind on
anything other than what is going on in your life at that
very moment, unable to see past that moment?
Some people get so very overwhelmed
that they just want to scream.
So they do.
And afterwards, they
feel better. It was a release of tension for
them. Everything that was built up within was able
to come out through a simple scream. Some punch their pillows. All
of their energy and frustration is taken out on a pillow,
and it helps them. Some people exercise to get their
But ... Others take out their
frustration on friends and family.
Even turning to physical
Still others get so overwhelmed
by what they are enduring and don’t know how to release the
tension, that in their perspective, being in physical pain
would be more comforting to them than experiencing the
emotional pain within.
They resort to self harm ...
Alcohol Abuse, Drug Abuse,
Cutting, Burning, Scratching, Banging, Biting, Purging …
The list goes on and on ...
It might sound ridiculous and
unbelievable to some people, but to others, it is a means of
Not a healthy way to find
relief by any standards, but it is still relief in their confused and hurting
state of mind and heart.
WHY DO PEOPLE SELF HARM
There are an abundant amount of
reasons as to why one would fall victim to this trap of the
mind and heart.
Loss of someone you love, to
death, abuse whether it be physical or sexual, to loss of a
job, to loss of a friend or lover, to bad grades at school.
Some of the people that harm
themselves can’t even truly identify WHY they do it.
Some feel they have lost so
much control in their lives, that they find control in what
they can do to their own bodies.
Hard to understand for some,
easy to understand to others.
How do you feel when you have
lost control of things?
In situations where you have control
taken from you or have surrendered it for whatever reason …
This can result from so many
scenarios ... From being sexually abused or raped to a situation
where the person feels they always let people down and can
do anything right anymore to a situation where a person is
uncomfortable with how their body looks and since they feel
they can’t change it immediately, they find a way to feel
some kind of control again.
Some feel they need to be
They feel so much shame, guilt,
and regret from a specific incident that they can not completely understand and/or accept that God has
already forgiven them when they truly repent, so they feel
the need to be punished.
In short .... They refuse to
Some might not even know of or
God’s Grace, so any mistake or sin they commit, they
punish themselves to try to CON-vince themselves not to do
the sin or mistake again.
But ... Doing the math, if the
Self harm becomes an addiction, some may choose to sin, just
so they can self harm again.
Some self harm can also be a cry for
Others that do not have
experience with self harm might look in with judgment saying
why don’t they just ASK someone for help.
In some cases THEY
HAVE or may have attempted to, and they were rejected for help for
In some cases they can not get
the courage to ask someone for help.
Still others do not feel they
have any one to trust enough to ask for help, so they seek
methods of self harm which will place marks upon their body
such as cutting (in places that others can see the marks or scars such as
their wrists or arms) where other people see and naturally
worry or question.
As odd as it sounds, some
people harm themselves for attention.
They do it to see WHO would
worry over THEM.
Then there are those merely
seeking companionship ...
The self harmer
naturally thinks that the majority of people might see but
still ignore. When someone comes and asks, “what’s goin’ on?
Is everything okay?” ... The self harmer feels like that
actually be a worthy friend because they cared enough to ask.
OVERCOMING SELF HARM TRUTH ON
OVERCOMING SELF HARM SYMPTOMS AND
OVERCOMING SELF HARM HOPE
Look at it this way ...
Self injury is a way to express
what someone is feeling when they can not find or do not have
the words for how they feel.
For example, a more powerful
way to tell someone that you love them is by giving em a hug or a kiss …
act of love.
Sometimes words can’t express how you feel
The same goes with
frustration ... Words can not express the feelings of
frustration, anger, shame, guilt, regret, etc, that someone
feels … So they put it into a physical act to try to express
their feelings and get it out. It is how they feel inside.
Some people harm themselves to
be able to show people how they feel when they are SCARED to
use their words.
Some people who can not cope
well, slowly become numb to the world. They become almost
like robots. Some people shut down completely and do not
to get out of bed. Others still go to work or school, but
express and even feel lil to no emotion. They have shut down.
They are hiding within.
Self injury gives a temporary
feeling back to someone who feels numb. Many self injurers
“snap out” of the numbness that they begin to feel by forcing
physical pain on their bodies.
You may be one that does it, or
know of someone who does and you can’t grasp why someone
would do that to themselves or how you can help them to
Maybe it is YOU and want to
quit…. Or maybe you do not want to quit, but want the desire
to want to quit. You know it is not good to do, but you feel
it helps too much and you can not find any other way to cope.
So how DO you quit?
How do you take control?
How do you make yourself WANT
One thing at a time…
REASONS TO QUIT
1) Most have heard the
ever popular “Its not your body, it is Gods”.
2) Doing what you do,
though you only do it to yourself, actually harms
other people. What were to happen if the people in
your life knew what you did? If you have experienced
someone that you love finding out what you do and
seen the tears, or heard the sobs, or seen the
helplessness in their face because they have no idea
how to help you … You would understand more. If you
haven’t experienced that yet, imagine finding
someone in your life that you love, a friend, family
member …Whoever and you find out they harm
themselves, or see the physical evidence on them.
How would you feel?
3) You lose control and
the addiction actually ends up controlling you. How
many times have you not been able to concentrate
because all you are able to think about is harming
yourself just one more time?
4) You can seriously
harm yourself to the point of death. Many of us
when we self harm, don’t intend to kill ourselves,
just trying to find some kind of relief. This goes
with most self harm techniques from cutting to
drugs, to alcohol to suffocation.
HOW DOES ONE QUIT THEN?
Most self harm because they
don’t know what else to do to escape.
Which is exactly HOW to quit.
FIND A REPLACEMENT of escape.
When you feel overwhelmed, make
a list of other things you could do instead. keep that list
posted everywhere you frequent. Things like writing,
listening to music, running/exercise, drawing, painting,
write a letter to someone to say hello, pray, read the
Bible, recite all the Bible verses you know out loud,
memorize verses to recite to yourself out loud.
Be with someone or call
someone. It would be great to have one person in your life
that knew specifically that you were struggling with it that
you could call or even have them call and check on you… like
Think about it ... How many
people harm themselves with someone sitting next to them?
VERY few to none.
When someone harms themselves,
they do it alone. (Unless they are doing it as peer pressure
to try to fit in.)
Think about it ...
It is PRIVATE.
It is SECRET.
Sooooooo ... Consider creating
a SECRET BOX filled with potential escapes.
What things make you smile? You
can place someone’s phone number within the box, pictures of
your favorite memories, your favorite uplifting CD, a book
that always makes you laugh, a funny movie … Anything that
helps YOU feel better. This box is used when you are
struggling. You open it and it gives you options instead of
running to harm yourself.
Here is another idea ...
If you are into the "physical
pain relieving the emotional pain" ideology, this idea might
work for you. It gives the sensation of physical pain
holding it in your hand or rubbing it on your skin, but it
does not leave scars, blood and it doesn’t actually hurt
you or anyone in your life as you overcome the addiction of
OVERCOMING SELF HARM TRICKS AND
OVERCOMING SELF HARM HABITS
What is a trigger?
It is something that brings to
mind and heart something negative which then brings forth
the concept of self harm.
Find your triggers and avoid
Is there something that typically happens BEFORE you
have the desire to harm yourself?
You might even have
Become familiar with ALL of them so
that you can avoid
them and/or be able to better deal with them.
If listening to certain
songs triggers you, don’t listen to them. If specific kinds
of situations happen that trigger you, avoid those kind of
movies or TV shows. (Such as rape scenes might be a trigger
a rape victim or survivor, so avoid those shows or movies
that talk about rape.)
Being around a certain person
or crowd might trigger you.
Try to avoid that person or
It is really a no brainer.
BUT ... You Do have to CHOOSE
to do so.
In short ... Take control of
Find the source WHY you want to
harm yourself. Attack the root of the problem.
You CAN find
replacements all day long and keep yourself from harming,
but if you don’t attack the reason of WHY you even have the
desire to self harm in the first place, you are merely
placing a band-aid on a broken soul.
You are NOT the only one who
struggles with self harm.
So many other souls have overcome
what you are experiencing.
It is time for YOU to deal with
It is time to be healed.
I want to encourage you to take
my hand and walk this path of healing with me.
ODE TO THOSE WHO ARE CONSIDERING SELF HARM
you choose to make such a poor choice that will
encage your soul ...
I challenge you to talk with anyone who suffers from
Anyone who struggles with not only the anguish and
shame that they live with every day of their life,
but also the fear that they hold knowing that the
next time they do it, could be their last.
Not because they CHOSE for it to be their last ...
But rather because they accidentally cut too deep
and couldn't stop the bleeding,
drank too much and drove a vehicle killing
themselves and/or other innocent souls, took one too
many pills and overdosed having their family or
friends discover their corpse.
Dying is not want they wanted ... All they wanted
was an escape.
But, that is not what occurs in many cases.
What if you had that ONE person who would really
listen and really help? That ONE person who actually
Would you be willing to talk with them before you
attempted diving into the regret and shame of self
If you are simply looking for just another way to
cope ... Instead of trying self harm, try this
healing path. You do not have to have already
attempted self harm for the path to work.
It works for ANYONE who needs to heal.
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