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CASHING OUT CONFIDENCE
Christianity Oasis Ministry has provided you with this
book titled Cashing Out Confidence by Patricia Edwin. Find out why people lose confidence in themselves and how to gain your confidence back with the Lord's help.


 

CHRISTIANITY OASIS

PRESENTS

PURITY PUBLICATIONS
 

 

TABLE OF CONTENTS


Acknowledgements
Foreword
Introduction
 
Chapter One Definition of Confidence
Chapter Two Mirror On Confidence
Chapter Three The Number One Cause - Rejection
Chapter Four Other Possible Causes
Chapter Five Fuels
Chapter Six Signs of Lack of Confidence
Chapter Seven How to Notice and Help
Chapter Eight Valuable Scriptures to Help
Chapter Nine Scriptures From Where We Can Hear God
Chapter Ten Important Things to Know

NOTE
 

 

 
Facebook Page: Patricia Edwin Nedeeva

Whatsapp #: (267) 72435495

www.patriciaedwin.wordpress.com

E-mail: cashingoutconfidence@gmail.com


Printed by Master Print Botswana

Edited by: Nancy Chiyungi



CASHING

OUT

CONFIDENCE

PATRICIA EDWIN




Copyright 2019 by Patricia Edwin.

All rights reserved.

This book or any portion thereof may not
be reproduced or used in any manner
whatsoever without the express written
permission of the publisher except for the
use of brief quotations in a book review.

Printed in Botswana.



ISBN 978-99968-0-827-2

PRINTED BY:

Master Print Botswana

14445 Kamushongo Gaborone

(267) 390 1955

www.masterprint.biz


-Acknowledgements-

I would firstly, like to give thanks the Lord my God for being my strength and forte when I was writing this book. It was not an easy experience for the fact that it was going to be my first published work and also because of my personal experiences which I had to share. I believe He gave me the mandate to pen down this book for my complete deliverance and for the benefit of others. I love God and He is my father, the lover of my soul and my greatest teacher.

I would also like to acknowledge the most important person in my life, my husband, Thando Edwin. He is one of a kind and the greatest support system I could have asked for. He has been patient and supportive and cheering me on throughout. When I was doubting myself and beating myself down, he continued to push me to write and not only the books but my blogs as well.

I thank God for my spiritual parents Pastors B and EJ Tomango. These are the people who believed in me when no one else, including myself did not. They guided me in the godly ways and always told me how great and how far I am going and that I am purposed to help others.

I would not leave out Kingdom Centre Assembly and Faith In God Centre in families in Francistown and Gaborone respectively. You are too good to me my sisters and brothers.

I further thank and acknowledge all my family. I have a
very supportive family who urged me on to do what I am created to do. I DID IT
BECAUSE YOU STOOD BY ME.


-Foreword-

In life there are seasons that people go through before they discover
themselves. Through these painful times different characters are born.
Many times, people think this is who the said person is like but this is
not the true picture as the person is just going through his or her
incubation period.

It is a painful period. I have seen great men and women in bars and
on the streets being whom they are not purposed to be. When you
look at the person you see that this person is not the actual person
because in the spirit you will be seeing a great man or woman while in
the physical you are looking at a nobody. Many people have lost their
confidence to an extent where they do not believe in themselves at all.

What I have seen is that many people have no confidence but look
like they have but once they see someone with a little confidence they
destroy it.

In the life industry people are destroying each other to an extent that
the little person with the little confidence ends up joining them and as
a result becoming worse than they are.

The bible says in Psalm 146:3

“Don’t put your trust in princes
or in mortals, who cannot help.”

Many people have put their trust in individuals and those individuals
have broken them into pieces. They now feel worse than they felt
before.

The Psalmist says put your trust in the Lord and the Lord shall boost
your confidence.

In the bible we have a very interesting story of Ruth in the book of
Ruth. Ruth was a young Moabite widow, who out of love of the Jewish
culture abandoned her own culture and gained confidence to go with
her broken widowed mother-in-law and confidently declaring that,
‘your people shall be my people and your God my God’ (Ruth 1:16)
even though when she arrived in Judah she was a destitute and had to
rely on other peoples kindness.

Ruth gained her confidence in the foreign land and started working on
her own living the mourning mother in law in the house. She did not
join the mother-in-law in mourning. Had she joined her, they were
going to be mourning in the house and eventually die there without
anybody noticing them, but she sorted herself out by entering the
fields of people she did not know which turned out to be of her future
husband.

Indeed, Patricia Edwin has touched a very important subject which
has swallowed a lot of children, men and women. Great men and
women are suffering under the monster called lack of confidence.

We have men and women who are in abusive marriages, because they
do not have confidence in themselves. Some people are drunkards
because they are hiding from who they think they are. I believe this
book is going to change a lot of peoples’ lives. This is a book
everyone must read. Even if you think you have confidence it will
boost it.


Elizabeth Jessica Tomango

Pastor

Faith In God Ministries International


-Introduction-

Cashing Out Confidence is a book that I am writing from
the bottom of my heart based on my life experiences and
observations. It is important to understand from the onset
that I am not writing this book because I have finally
mustered all the confidence that I need in this world, but
that I have decided that I am not going to wait for
confidence to come to me and so I am going to cash it out
bit by bit until I have it all. Until I can do anything, I set my
mind to I will not stop striving. One might ask, ‘why don’t
you just go ahead and do whatever you want to, what or who
is stopping you? All I can say to such a question is that
continue reading and you will find out that it is not the
simplest thing when are faced with what I am writing about
in this book. I have come to even form an opinion that lack
of confidence is the highest form of bondage because it is
working even against our creativity, yet we are created in the
very image and likeness of God, to create as well. In a
nutshell, there is not creating when you have little
confidence. It is a world full of non-ending crippling mind
bondage and mind attacks.

Philippians 3:14, NIV: "I press on toward the goal to win the
prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I realized something about confidence when I was going
through problems and having lost confidence that I did not
lose it over one night or because of one incident but that I
lost it over a period as things were happening to me,
negative things, big and small. Every time something
happened, I lost a bit of my confidence until I had almost
none left.

But the thing about confidence is that it is not really out
there but within me, so I came to a realization that I had to
begin cashing it out one day at a time.

I eventually realized that lack of confidence is nothing but
a collective effort number of things that keep growing in
strength and in number as long as you are in that state. It
could be fear to fail, fear to be judged, fear to lose as we will
discover while reading through this book.

My aim in this book is to address the issue that is lack of
confidence and in some cases low self-esteem in detail by
pointing out some key elements and factors that accompany
this issue and give some solutions that may help.

To lose one’s confidence could be caused by several things
such as divorce, death or any type of loss, rejection, many
failures, upbringing and so forth.

I am so excited that I get this opportunity to tackle this issue
and hopefully in the process help other people. Though
this book is written for everyone somehow, I think it may
benefit women more because you find that most of the
time, they battle with confidence issues and I am writing
from a woman’s point of view.

The most important aspect of this book is that in the
process of reading this book we will find out what God says
to your confidence or to any human beings’ confidence and
I am praying that it will touch and change lives.

Thank you and happy reading. May you be helped by this
book in Jesus name. Amen.


Chapter One

-Definition of Confidence-

Confidence sounds like such a simple word and nothing
much to worry about, and that could be true if your
confidence has not yet taken a knock too hard. I have
realized that confidence is a much more dynamic word than
most people think and understand and especially to a
Christian. Why? I realized that confidence is a vehicle in
which a believer moves in as he or she journeys with God
throughout their life. In the fact, as a believer you cannot
speak about faith without first speaking about confidence.
For us to even begin exercising faith there must exist a
certain confidence.

Hebrews 11:1 (NIV)

1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and
assurance about what we do not see.

Following are the definitions of faith in the English and
according the biblical languages, Hebrew and Greek for a
deeper understanding of exactly what confidence is.

ENGLISH DEFINITION

1. A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance
on one's circumstances.

2. The quality or state of being certain

3. A relation of trust or intimacy took his friend into his
confidence

b) Reliance on another's discretion

c) Support especially in a legislative body vote of confidence

4. A communication made in confidence

GREEK DEFINITION

In Greek there are two words that describe
confidence:

Parresia: means freedom of speech, confidence

Also meaning freedom, openness especially in speech,
confidence, boldness or bold resolve, fearlessness, cheerful
courage, assurance

John 7:4

No there is no one who wants to be known
publicly acts in secret. Since You are doing these
things, show Yourself to the world.”

Pepoithesis: means assured confidence in, trust, reliance.

2 Corinthians 15

Confident of this, I planned to visit you first, so that you
might receive a double blessing.

HEBREW DEFINITION

Mibtach deriving from Ba-Tach

Certainty and assurance of one’s relationship with God

To put trust in…

Also meaning: Confidence, secure, security, trust, which
they trust, whom you trust

Also: Hope, refuge, sure act of confiding, the object of
confidence.

From all these definitions confidence is more complex than
we may comprehend at face value. In fact, it could well may
be the most important word to a child of God. In Hebrew
and Greek the word confidence is a noun. According to my
realization it is an objection and needs to be treated as such
by a believer.

1. It is something that we must possess if we are at all
people of faith. We need to carry it while journeying
in this life from place to place. We must ooze
confidence.
2. If you are going to be someone who believes in
God, who has never been seen, whom you can
please only by faith, then your confidence must be
of undeniable lengths.

Most of the time we must do things which nobody
understands, and the world is violently questioning. For
example: tithing. Which means, if you are confident as to
why you tithe, all the information then you are not
confident to talk on it if the world or some doubting
‘thomases’ decide to impose their views on you.

If confidence is a noun, then it means many of us are
making the mistake of treating it as something invisible and
so far out of our reach hence we become ineffective as
Christians. We continue to make the same mistakes that
people who do not know the Lord. We speak the same
negative way. We walk the same way and so in the end you
find that we are living overlapped lives and there is no
difference between someone who is in the light and
someone who is in the dark. There is no difference
between someone who has confidence (real confidence in
the Lord) and someone who does not (who has confidence
in the world and worldly things).

1 John 2:15-16: "Do not love the world or anything in the
world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father is not
in them. For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh,
the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from
the Father but from the world."

This scripture then brought me to a realization that one
can have confidence and ooze of it but if they do not
acknowledge the Lord and know Him then it is the wrong
kind of confidence and it is in the wrong things. Things
that are not life giving or even relate to the fullness of life.
Our Lord Jesus says in:

John 10:10 (NIV) The thief comes only to steal and kill
and destroy; I have come that they may have life and have
it to the full.

Before I was born again, I used to envy confident,
outspoken, outgoing people who would walk in a room and
the whole room pays attention and say something and
everybody agrees but when I came to the Lord and began
to learn and light was shed to me I began to see things
differently. I now see that those people are not at all
confident but are just suffering from a excruciating need of
attention and they have mastered how to command it to
either hide their own pain, shortcomings and all for their
own benefit. I have also observed that those are some of the
loneliest people out there as they live with this dark secret.
They have a deficiency in the area of attention.

I used to think if people can respond this way to me and I
have since learned that I am greater than that in any given
day because I am carrying a great God in me and that is all
the confidence, I need to address anybody or talk in any
crowd and be heard.

Hebrews 11:1 says faith is the confidence which means
there will be no faith without first confidence and assurance
in that what you want, you‘will get’ {NOT‘can get:’}. It is
assured. Therefore, Confidence is a pre-requisite of faith
and a vehicle to success in anything that a person (especially
someone who expects answers from God) must do.


Chapter Two

-A Mirror on Confidence-

Psalm 56:3-4

3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God,
whose word I praise— inGod I trust and am not afraid.
What can mere mortals do to me?

Confidence is a word that can sit on both sides of the table
in that you must have confidence in yourself and you must
have confidence in another. As a Christian I realized it is
much easier to have confidence in God first and then in
yourself, because if it is the other way around it might bridge
your confidence in God. If, first of all there is confidence
that God loves you and that he is able to do anything for
you then you do not have to work so hard at building yours
because you already have confidence in a divine support
system, who is able to do anything, who is all powerful,
omnipresent and omniscient. Then it means all you must
do is to begin to understand God then your confidence
becomes stronger as you continue to know and the lengths
that He will go to for you.

Fear to fail and to be judged is one of the worst things that
can happen to a person who is struggling with confidence
for the simple fact that once you afraid to fail or to be
judged there is not much you can do. Why? Well, because
whatever you do there is always some possibility that you
may fail and there is also a guarantee (highest possibility)
that people will judge you. That is just the way it is.

There is nothing else to do once you have no confidence in
yourself because it simply takes confidence to do something
though knowing you may not succeed and knowing that you
will not be able to please everyone. You still must go ahead
and do it. Life cannot stop for fear of failure or for fear to
be rejected. We have a great example of our savior who
came knowing full well that He will be rejected and hurt
and hated and killed but he carried the promise all the way
to the cross so that we may be saved.

So, if you cannot get past those two things especially, then
you are as good as dead because you will not able to do
anything as you will wait to do something that is guaranteed
to work 100% and the same be approved by everybody so
that no one will complain or gossip about. That is
something I can say for a fact, it will never come to pass. As
much as it terrifies me to write this book and have everyone
tread my work and say what they want, freely but I have now
known that this is exactly the way it is done. When you are
not sure. When there is possibility you may fail. When you
just do not know how it’s going to be like it does not mean
God is the same way. The confidence must be on that He
knows exactly what will happen and begin to check what he
says about our future, who He says that we are. That is
where our focus must be but most of the time our focus will
be on what will people say or what if they talk about or what
if I fail and they laugh.

I know this because I went through it for several years until
I had to decide to do something while I was still reeling in
lack of confidence and low self-esteem. I decided to deal
with it while I was in the middle of the storm and so that
God will deliver me from the storm and set me on dry
ground.

As I indicated before there are many reasons why a person
would lose their confidence. As for it was a combination of
many things that eventually sent me spiraling into an ugly
world of pain, uncertainty, low self-esteem, impatience, and
lack of control, self-doubt and all that you can imagine. I
was no longer the bubbly cheerful person that God made.

Having no confidence is something I know well because I
spent all my life struggling with doing things, failing to
become successful at anything because I did not trust myself
and God.

The bible says that as indicated before ‘Faith is the
confidence… and continues to say in:

Hebrews 11: 6 Without faith it is impossible to please God
because anyone who comes to him must believe that he
exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him
I would say anyone who comes to Him must have the
confidence that he exists and exists for good things about
your life. Otherwise it becomes a cult sort of life where we
believe that we must suffer for anything good to come to us.

To have confidence in God and in oneself then becomes
critical to such a person who wants to succeed and do great
works while living the life of a Christian. It is not a miracle,
but it is a decision. A decision to refuse to stay under
oppression and rise above whatever demise that had
befallen you in the past as you have become a new creation
in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17

…16 So from now on we regard no one according to the
flesh. Although we once regarded Christ in this way, we do
so no longer. 17 Therefore if anyone is inChrist, he is a
new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the
new has come! 18 All this is from God, who reconciled us
to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of
reconciliation.


Chapter Three

-The Number One Cause-Rejection-

In this chapter I want to address what I deem the number
one issue factoring in loss of confidence. Because of this
reason someone can find themselves with no confidence
and even failing to have confidence in God. This is an issue
that I am dealing with personally so I will speak here about
many things and some of them happened to me and some
of them I observed in other people who are lacking
confidence. There is a saying that says, ‘it takes one to know
one.’

There may be many reasons why a person might find
themselves reeling in the ugly world of lack of confidence.

These things might have happened while one was not yet in
Christ or while one is already a Christian. It really does not
matter because one way or another a past that is not
addressed will catch up with you subtly through lack of
confidence or in other drastic ways such as anger, pride,
animosity and so forth.

The number one culprit for someone to lose their
confidence in God, in themselves and in others is
REJECTION because once you have been rejected
long enough you lose confidence, but you gain
something called FEAR OF REJECTION. And I
can tell you from experience that fear of rejection is
crippling and paralyzing and it is there to make sure
that you never have a beginning, a during or a
finishing. You are always at one state of paralysis of
being afraid to start something in case you fail, or
someone even dares to criticize you. In other
words, you are always beginning but instead of
continuing to complete you do what I called quitting
and, in the end, if you do not receive help you
become a serial quitter. You become an expert at
quitting such that your reasons for quitting become
better and more convincing. It can be the most
frustrating thing you go through.

Issues of rejection stem out of past experiences such
as abandonment maybe as a child, through loss of a
close relative or divorce and other things along
those lines. It is simply damning. Many people
often lose their confidence in God. Some may say
it out, ‘God is not there, God has forsaken me’ and
others may not say it out loud but decide in their
mind and that will be the end of a faith filled for
them. What happens next, we now fail to see God
as a refuge or strength but as perpetrator and
partaker in our problems. Then the question
remains how can you then have confidence in Him
to do anything for you let alone yourself? In the end
you turn to a life where you have confidence in the
world and worldly things. You begin to exalt
yourself and you begin to yearn to be seen at any
cost.

Other issues that cause rejection can be:

a) Being given up for adoption whether formally
through the system or informally between relatives
(common in our African culture)
b) Abandonment (being left alone with no explanation
reasonable enough to you) may be though the death
of a loved, divorce, adoption, effects of divorce on
children can also results is serious abandonment
issues and resulting in fear of rejection in the short
term and more dangerously in the long-term.
c) Growing up in an unstable homestead can cause
people to become unsure in their lives when they
grow up.

Anything that causes a person to be excessively afraid
to be rejected is a concerning factor because the said
person can no longer function fully and effectively to
the purpose of God for his or her life.

Anything that we do in this world is subject to criticism
and criticism is supposed to make us stronger and make
want to do better, but criticism to a person who lacks
confidence and is afraid of rejection can be a killer.
They may never try again. That is why is key to
understand the possibility is in Christ. I have never seen
anyone who beats this issue permanently without Jesus
Christ.

When you have rejection issues you do not feel good
enough, you do not feel like you measure up and you do
not feel like you belong anywhere. Relationships, including
a relationship with God become burdensome and you just
need to get out. You keep getting out of things that exert
even a little bit of pressure. Remember the Word of God
is meant to correct, rebuke, encourage us but to a person
of low confidence these things have no room as they feel
like it is more rejection than anything else. Basically, a
human being is designed to have confidence otherwise they
live a disastrous life.

2 Timothy 3:16

All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching,
for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness;
And as such rejection of any form at any stage of a person’s
life can become a key contributing factor to the said person
losing confidence in their lives for a long time or forever if
the issue is not addressed with wisdom, accordingly and
timeously and more importantly in the Lord.


Chapter Four

-Other Possible Causes-

There are many other things that can cause a person to
lose his or her confidence to function and even
confidence in God and life itself.

RAPE, MOLESTATION & DEFILEMENT

These things can also become factors in why someone
would lose their confidence in God, in themselves and
in ever succeeding because these are acts that basically
speak and say to the victim you are not worth anything.
And I am using the word victim deliberately because it
can be who that person becomes from the fateful day
onwards.

Now, being a person who has the victim mentality even
if they are a child of God can be exhausting to them and
to those around them. The thing is that eventually this
person becomes a victim in everything and becomes
difficult to deal with.

It does not matter what was in the mind of the
perpetrator but the way the message is received by the
person who becomes a victim to these inhuman acts is
loud and clear, ‘You are a nobody, we can do anything
we like to you and there is nothing you, God or anybody
can do about it because we are in control and you are
weak, and you are useless, and you are powerless, and
you are rejected, and nobody cares or loves you. \oh!
And whom will you tell? (and in issues of molestation)
‘If you tell we will kill you…’

This is the message that the person remains with,
degraded for a long time until that person allows God
to intervene by trusting him and having confidence in
Him and themselves.

It is a humiliating thing for someone to afflict your body
because you do not have power over them and that
leaves a scar in ones’ life forever. Sometimes even
getting over it, is not really getting over it. In some cases
someone can get over the fact that they have been
molested or raped and move on with their life the best
way they can but the confidence aspect remains
unaddressed in that persons’ life. Sometimes you will
not know that you are lacking in confidence because
you may have found a way to cope and by world
definition it emanates as is you have confidence. That
is a mask and that person is a ticking time bomb.

The message that was delivered at the time of the
incident remains loud and clear. The message at
counselling also remains clear that ‘it was not your fault,
you did not invite this, do not blame yourself, time heals
all wounds and so forth. While It is a true and a good
encouraging message it can at times fail to do anything
for the ‘victims’ confidence. Only God has the power
and the ability to bring permanent rest.

Matthew 11:28-30

28 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and
I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn
from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will
find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my
burden is light.”

To move past that and gain confidence in God, in
yourself and in other people will take a decision to cash
out confidence bit by bit while you continue living your
life.

Some of the issues that result in people with no
confidence are related to CHILD ABUSE,
DOMESTIC ABUSE/VIOLENCE and ABUSIVE
SPOUSE(verbally, emotionally or physically). If you
are abused as a child, a wife or a husband it means you
have no reliable support system in the very person in
whose custody you are in. It means the very person who
is supposed to take care of your every need
emotionally, spiritually, physically, mentally and has
turned the gun on you. What follows is self-doubt
because of the position that the perpetrator holds in
your life. The person you love, and trust has basically
taken the position of an enemy and it seems there is
now way to go. It is an ambush and a betrayal of
paramount levels. The one on the receiving end of this
abuse feel like they have no way to go because they
belong with this person or these people. Then feelings
of worthlessness begin to dribble in until they have
erected a mountain in your thought life which is directly
linked to your confidence. Imagine a scenario where
you a soldier in a battle field and you are with partner
and to your dismay, he suddenly turns on you and stabs
you in the heart. That is how it feels and that is why it is
only God who can manage.

Verbal abuse is as bad as physically abuse if not worse
because what it means is that someone is directly talking
to your confidence and repeatedly telling it to die.
Words like you are useless, you are stupid, you are no
one without me, you are ugly and so many other words
and other damaging, demeaning phrases are the sword
in this battle. The sword because it is a close range kill
because this is someone who is close whom you
probably love.

While physical abuse might happen mostly in cases
where the husband is physically abusing beating,
slapping, punching, lashing at the wife verbal abuse
could happen to wives or husband or may a parent(s)
to a child it can be vice-versa in both instances. Believe
it or not many husbands are being verbally (and at times
physically) abused by their wives in their homes and
parents by their children. And men like that lose their
confidence to the last degree. And yes, first in God and
then in themselves because these very abusive wives are
also very prayerful, go to church every Sunday, go to
church meetings, speak in tongues and are very soft
spoken at church. They will kneel before everybody in
public except their own husbands at home. They will
abusively shout at and demean the husband in front of
the children and relatives. So, a man dealing with such
a deceitful person loses confidenceand shuts down and
ultimately fails to carry out his duties as purposed by
God as a man. The worst-case scenario, this husband
can kill himself and his wife and seriously senseless
scenarios the children.

In the same manner a wife who is abused by her
husband will lose trust in God and in herself and begin
to vanish from the face of the earth painfully and slowly.
Every day that passes that wife decides to become
smaller to protect herself and to allow her husband to
become bigger as he desires. She loses all sense of
security and confidence in God, in herself and in other
people. The said woman cannot do anything without
quitting because she believes she can never succeed at
anything as she has been rendered useless by the
spouse.

The same goes for child abuse because the child is
exposed to ugly scenarios of abuse time and again by
the very people (whether they are biological parents or
guardians or adoptive or relatives living with the child
or foster parents is not the issue) that are supposed to
provide security, safe environment, encouragement and
the child that he or she can conquer the world. The
child now decides at a very young age that life is just not
worth living or that abuse is the way to go and do this to
other people. And a generation has been created.

The issue of VANITY AND AN OBSESSIVE NEED
TO BE PERFECT can also contribute to someone’s
level of confidence. I call this self-mutilation even
thoughit’s not physically, but you have basically turned
the gun on yourself. A vain person usually wants
everything about him or herself to be perfect and often
obsesses about what people will say if what they are
doing is not perfect. Which is a hunt for a Unicorn
because as people we can do excellently but to run
seeking after ‘perfectly’ is a cause for frustration because
people respond differently to what we do.

So once a person with vanity issues is criticized it can
cause them to lose confidence to do more and they find
themselves spiraling in a world of confusion of loss of
self-confidence. Excessive need to be perfect and to
always put things in two straight parallel lines is a recipe
for disaster in this life. Its okay to make mistakes that is
why we have our God given biological parents, family,
spiritual fathers, mentors and friends.

Another thing that will put a serious and visible dent in
your confidence in God and in yourself is PRIDE. One
might ask how? Because most people mistake pride for
confidence, but it really is not, it’s just another
dangerous mask because this one is even associated
with the falling of a man. It can send you fast back to
your fallen state.

Wherever damage is being caused to a human soul you
are likely to meet the ring leader - pride. Pride is also a
complex issue with its own causes but then in itself
branches to become a catalyst in other issues.
Sometimes I say pride gives birth and I would mention
things like bitterness, sorrow, anger eventually despair
but I have since found that it will also kill your
confidence a slow painful death. It qualifies as a
spiritual cancer.

Someone struggles to have confidence in God and to
acknowledge God in their success and receives praise
for themselves forgetting to send glory back to God.
They want all the credit. Someone with pride will lose
their self-confidence if they do not receive credit for
what they have done. This person can struggle and feel
physical pain and anger. The main aim with a proud
person is to please not God but people. If they come in
an arena where you do not necessarily get the credit for
things you do, and people do not put on a pedestal then
they may lose their self-confidence because their egos
are larger than life but ironically very fragile. It is a
serious battle within the mind.

LACK OF EDUCATION- is a factor because people
who did not go to school always feel like they will never
measure up especially in a world where people measure
wisdom with the number of certificates of their walls. If
they do not make good decision, they can lack
confidence and also become bitter and resentful
especially in these days where churches and Christians
are mostly communicating in English.

Lack of confidence if not dealt with properly and some
decisions made then it will be like scab on an old
wound. It will look healed but not necessarily. Any
reminder or anything that resembles one of the causes
will force the wound to open and bleed.


Chapter Five

-Fuels-

For a person who has lost confidence and is now
dealing with issues of low-esteem and insecurity and
trust issues they are so many other elements which can
fuel the problem causing it to become worse.

Like I said before, if the issue of lack of confidence is
not dealt with accordingly and properly is can be
terminal and life-threatening, spiritually of course which
is worse. It is critical for us to receive Christ as our
personal savior, to learn to fully and totally trust, believe
and depend on God. If we find the solution somewhere
else, then we have taken temporary measures and that
scab will painfully be ripped by anything that even
resembles rejection.

There are some things that will be fuels to the problem.
Failure at anything or failure, no matter how small to
achieve desired results, lack of support from family,
community leaders, spouse, friends or church leaders can
send a person who has taken temporary measures spiraling
back down the dark hole.

What is happening is that the perspective of someone
dealing with low self-confidence is different from most
peoples’ and mostly clouded. What would seem normal to
someone who is not dealing with this issue can seem a
hundred times worse to such a person. They do not see
things the way other people see them, and they do not even
receive messages the same as everybody else. They are used
to being accused so everything can be accusation or an
attack.

Any failure no matter how small can be translated to them,
‘never try again or you will just be hurt again because no
one understands or appreciates you.’

So, things like these will become sort of like adding fuel to
fire.

Other things that can really put down someone with already
low confidence or zero confidence is depression. First, in
the long run someone who has no confidence in themselves
stand a high chance of being depressed and when they are
depressed the depression itself makes the confidence issue
worse to a point such a person can fail to leave the house
or maybe begin having suicidal thoughts. At times, they can
fail to wake up and remain in their blankets.

Stress can also factor in and play its own games in the mind
of a person who is struggling in trusting themselves or God.
When you have unresolved confidence issues and you also
keep coming across stresses of life then eventually the stress
will become like a fuel to that issue. Stress means you are
not faring as you would have liked in your life which means
a few failures here and there, lack of support throw in a little
bit of criticism and we have a case of fully-blown
‘confidentitis.

One other fuel especially to, though not limited to women,
is excessive weight gain probably because of depression,
because of child bearing or age or anything at all can throw
one spiraling into a pool of low-self-esteem and gain one a
lifetime membership in the under-achiever’s club. Weight
gain is already a problem for majority of women and some
men out there but to a person dealing with lack of
confidence that would mean extra weight added physically
and mentally and that is a recipe for disaster.


Chapter Six

-Signs of Lack of Confidence-

Like anything else in life, it will take a bold step of actually
looking at yourself and pin point issues that will together
reveal you that you are dealing with a serious issue of low
confidence in yourself, in God and probably in life itself.
There are so many things that a person with lack of
confidence will resemble but it is better if the person comes
to an admittance stage that they have a problem on their
own.

It can even be more beneficial if someone they trust and
look up to brings it forth as they have been observing you.
That is love.

I came to an important realization dealing with this issue
that it is better to point the finger at yourself than for people
to point a finger at you because that can make matters
worse.

If you are someone dealing with low self-esteem you are
easily bruised.

A simple scenario: You are seated in a group, probably a
meeting and the leader of the group says something that you
find totally offensive that you find yourself angered and
battling not to open your mouth and say something back or
just to storm out but you realize everyone else does not
seem so offended by any of what was said.

When you find yourself having gone through a few
scenarios like this check yourself because it may mean you
are easily offended by everything because your self-defense
senses are heightened depending on your past life
experiences.

You always feel challenged, picked on or abused. Here is
another thing; for most people dealing with low confidence,
taking responsibility for anything is not an option. There
must always be someone to blame, even at times when you
claim to take responsibility for anything it is from an angle
of self-pity not necessarily ownership.

Signs that lack of self-confidence has taken its toll in your
life include quitting. Quitting comes because everything
seems bigger and impossible to achieve because you view
yourself as a little person who cannot achieve. Once again,
when it comes to reaching some goals, people with lack of
confidence struggle because of lack of faith and hope which
really is a pity because the bible says that the plans for God
are for hope and a future. It also says if we call unto Him,
he will answer and show things to come which we have not
yet seen. Without hope we might never see that day, we
might never get to see the expected end.

11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the
LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans
to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 33:3

3 ‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and
unsearchable things you do not know.’

If you see yourself quitting all the time and viewing things
as impossible all the time, there may be issues of
confidence.

Relationships are nearly impossible to maintain because
small things offend people with low self-esteem, they do not
feel comfortable in relationships as they always want to
come out before they are hurt. The wife who is always
packing her bags, may need to check herself. I used to be
one.

There are so many things which can hinder you from
success and most of them stem from the fact that you may
not have confidence not in a project and not even in other
people but in yourself. Of course, when you tell the story it
may come out differently careful that blame does not fall
on you. Blame shifting is part of it.

I have found that there are so many things that can mean
that someone is dealing with lack of confidence. I have also
noticed that sometimes someone can notice on their own
while others will be seen by others who live around that
person.

Some other signs that you have no lack of or no confidence
or that you are dealing with someone with little confidence
include the following:

-The need to explain all the time and to voice out why they
did what they did and why even if it is not necessary.

-Complaining and shifting blame at all time. If you have
noticed this about yourself, you just need to address it
according to the Word of God and quickly seek help

-If criticism is brought to you, you will immediately look for
an excuse and not wait to see if the criticism is helpful to
you, but you may even take offense to it and begin to
withdraw from the person. Like I said before defensiveness
radar is on high alert with someone who lacks confidence.
It might be even what they know best.

-People who lack confidence can shut people out even by
body language. I used to fold my arms and every meeting
especially if I did not like the topic and that meant that I
was no longer with you in that meeting. It would become
very hard to access me from then on because I would have
shut out or simply withdrawn as a way of protecting myself
from hurtful sayings or remembering the past.

-Another interesting one is that people who lack confidence
love for things to happen quickly or they give up. Patience
is not a virtue in that world because waiting can be translated
to rejection easily. So, there is sometimes despair over
things not moving fast enough or uncertainty of the future.

-As you can imagine people with low self-esteem are easily
ashamed, embarrassed or demoralized. Anything can be a
trigger for them to lapse into a dark world of pain and
suffering silently.

I have heard before that Hypertension is a silent killer, yes
physically and so according to my observations lack of
confidence is the silent killer spiritually because you cannot
trust anyone with anything; not even God who is life.


Chapter Seven

-How to Notice and Help-

(yourself or another person)

Of course, if it is a person who has not yet received Christ
as their personal that will be a top priority. If you think or
know that you have no confidence or low self-esteem for
whatever reason and you have not yet received Christ as
your own personal savior find a church, a woman or man
of God to help you. Even if you are already a child of God
you cannot help yourself. |You need to seek the elders.

James 5:14-16 (KJV)

14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the
church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil
in the name of the Lord

Like I have written before it is easier to notice yourself and
begin to go after help with all that you have because like any
other addiction, there are relapses, good and bad days. Bad
days can be really bad. It is best to stay close to God and
those who support you.

When you have noticed yourself, you have to declare war
because this is the very thing that makes you doubt God
and doubt each and every person who wants to help you.

It really is a silent killer because there is not much
protesting, but deadly decisions made in silence to leave
and to withdraw from the people who love you.

When you have lack of confidence it is something that
comes directly against what God says about you because
what is attacked is your worth as you see it and nobody else.
Loving yourself is a challenge hence loving others is an even
bigger challenge.

The Word of God states in

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength a well-proven
help in trouble (MEV).

Running to the Lord and not away from Him when you
realize yourself to be struggling is the best thing to do for
yourself and those around you. It might not be the easiest
thing to do when dealing with issues of lack of confidence,
why? because doubt tends to linger around those who have
no confidence to keep them even more astray from God.
It needs some serious decision making and a stubborn
person who no longer wants to suffer and who no longer
want to toil.

Once decided you begin to cash it out because confidence
is a like a currency that you must now cash out frequently
until for you to have the desired amount. We need it. Faith
is the confidence…

While you are trying to deal with confidence and gain it
back, as it was lost to you, some things that are aiming to
bring it back down will be also up against you because life
does not stop happening just because you decided to seek
healing so being vigilant is important. The word of God is
your best friend. Reading, studying it and hearing it.

I have seen that the best way to get deliverance from lack of
confidence is to go hard at doing something you or anybody
never thought you would do, like a writing a book. You
need to be relentless and keep going until you break ground
and then you will have cashed out some confidence and
then keep going until the all the ugliness is a thousand miles
behind you.

Why I am stressing that it is like cashing out gradually is that
you cannot just go to the bank and remove a lump some of
it. You keep deciding to be sure of God more especially
every day and He will keep surprising you with how much
able you are.

There are some certain behaviors also that you might
realize that you or someone is dealing with lack of
confidence like failure to keep eye contact, refusing to
accept compliments, quick apologies at anything (no matter
how irrelevant), procrastination a lot, withdrawal all the
time and many other behavioral patterns which are meant
to keep people (and success) at a distance.

People who lack confidence need help, a lot of help but the
tricky part is that they do not readily accept the help. In fact,
they do not want help at all because they feel patronized
and mocked and judged most of the time. They are
defensive and ‘readily hurt’ so they do not want to give
anyone access into their life for fear of being compromised
and being hurt once again.

One other way how to notice that confidence is an issue for
you or another person that you have observed is that the
very person who has low-self-esteem is hurtful towards
other people in so many ways. They can carry so many
personality traits that are not good for those they live
around. Just a few examples they can be gossipers, have
know-it-all attitudes, be hypochondriacs, be passive
aggressive or just aggressive, be pathological or compulsive
liars and generally be obsessive is so many different ways. I
am not a psychologist but if you go through life the way I
did you are bound to know some things. Some things you
graduate as life is happening to you. I believe there are
many people across the world who have crossed paths with
me who probably drew conclusions that I was a sociopath
or even a psychopath just depends on when we met. Little
did they know that were dealing with some who had zero
confidence and the actions were just a way to be heard.

Sometimes if you come across someone who like to hurt
people one way or another, in a big way or in a small way
take a minute to look what could be going on with that
person because you might find out that they are the victim
and they are just looking to be heard.

It is not also not easy to help people who deal with
confidence because mostly they do not appear as victims
but rather they appear as if they have strong characters and
as if they have everything under control when among other
people but once they are alone it is becomes a whole
different business as thoughts of bitterness and despair
ravage them. It is ugly. It is a very lonely life.

Sometimes people who irritate us because of their
overbearing ways are the ones that need help, so it is
important not to judge a book by its cover and get to know
people while loving them with the love of God.


Chapter Eight

-Valuable Scriptures to Help-

(avoid a lapse or relapse)

Something interesting about confidence or lack thereof is
that in many ways it carries patterns like those of an
addiction because even if you are working to get rid of it
there are many times where you may find yourself slipping
back or rather relapsing or falling off the wagon(as they say
in addiction world)so that you may go back in your world
of hosting pity parties.

Coming out of a life where one lacks confidence is a
journey and a culture of reading and understanding the
Word of God must be quickly adopted one the problem
has been pin pointed or they will be a relapse.

The enemy knows the most effective ways to destroy
relationship with God. He knows that we will do it because
of our weaknesses through disobedience. What I have seen
that for someone who has no confidence it is not hard to
break the rules or rather disobey if they are not yet
completely healed.

The enemy knows that it is easy to indulge because obeying
is not the easiest thing to do, so now with low-self-esteem if
faced with pressures of obeying the Word of God he will
swiftly aid you into slipping back into that dark world and
once he has accomplished he leaves it for you to deal with
anger, resentment and guilt.

Joshua 1: 8 This book of the Law must not depart from
your mouth. Meditate on it day and night so that you may
act carefully according to all that is written in it. For then
you will make your way successful, and you will be wise.
(MEV)

We need faith to be successful in whatever we do and to
have a fruitful and fulfilling relationship with God. There is
no way we can have a relationship with God without faith
because first of all we cannot see Him. It would be
ridiculous even to you and a serious waste of time to keep
talking about God and even going to church without faith
that He exists.

When dealing with lack of confidence the major thing that
helps you to overcome is your lack of faith because like I
stated at the beginning of the book lack of confidence is a
problem that comes directly against your faith.

When you have no confidence, you are supposed to
believe that you are no good and that you do not deserve
good. It is impossible to picture yourself in good light. It is
impossible to picture yourself rich, married, or successful
in anyway. Good things seem like a myth to you.

Meditating on the Word of God will help you believe what
God is saying about you. Think of it this way, you spent a
better part of your life believing you are nobody because
someone told you so or because you believed it yourself
what would it hurt to hear God’s perspective on that issue
about yourself.

The bible says that faith comes through hearing and hearing
the Word of God.

Romans 10:17 The Message Bible (MSG)

14-17 But how can people call for help if they don’t know
who to trust? And how can they know who to trust if they
haven’t heard of the One who can be trusted? And how can
they hear if nobody tells them? And how is anyone going
to tell them, unless someone is sent to do it? That’s why
Scripture exclaims,

A sight to take your breath away!

Grand processions of people

telling all the good things of God!

But not everybody is ready for this, ready to see and hear
and act. Isaiah asked what we all ask at one time or another:
“Does anyone care, God? Is anyone listening and believing
a word of it?” The point is: Before you trust, you have to
listen. But unless Christ’s Word is preached, there’s
nothing to listen to.

Romans 10:17 New King James Version (NKJV)

17 So then faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word
of God.

You can hear from preaching and teachings and you can
hear directly from the Word of God in the bible when he
directly tells you himself and as your faith in increased from
hearing God then some negative things that you have
believed or heard about your self will keep falling off.

What I have learnt over the years is that you cannot be laid
hands enough times for you to gain your confidence back
but that it is a hard but life-giving decision.

You must take that step in the right direction? Yes, because
it does not mean that once you make that decision good
things will begin to happen immediately, you will never see
bad things and good people will magically appear in your
life. No, but what it means is that you have changed
response to whatever happens. It does not mean that you
no longer have weakness but what it means is that you are
not dying in your weakness and guilt no longer consumes
you after you make a mistake.

It is a passport to life. So many people considered heroes
of faith mentioned in the bible had weakness some were
womanizers, some were swindlers, some became drunk but
today we are encouraged and ministered to by their stories
not because they were perfect but because of how they
responded in faith to God when they heard the Word and
when they were faced with situations.

Response, both to positive and negative things is key when
we now want to gain our confidence back and stay
confident. There are so many things to consider and be
ready for. It will be time to look at those people who mean
well and those who do not and make sound and wise
decisions. People who mean well are not always going to
say nice things. In fact, they might be the most difficult
people to deal with and once you have figured that out,
learn to respond well because they might come with brutal
truth, rebuke and correction out of their love for you. Learn
to take it well and with great joy and appreciation to God
you are becoming mature and are going to become a
productive person. Those who do not mean well can also
pose as if they love you and if you are not wise you find
yourself hurt again. It still boils down to response. Respond
with love and wisdom. Do not injure others on the way to
your healing. They are also acting in their weakness
whatever it maybe. We love them and pray for them.

Love unconditionally. As I have mentioned before people
dealing with confidence issues have a way of withdrawing or
shutting people who hurt them out. If you are to heal that
has to be avoided. Just love people and remember that God
loves you as well because, but you are not perfect. It is easier
to run away but hardly beneficiary. We make our way
successful by making deliberate moves to change for the
better and all of a sudden people around us will be affected
by the way we respond even to their negativity. The love of
God is a great force that cannot be denied even by the most
cynical of people. God is love.

Forgiveness is one thing that people with lack of confidence
struggle with. I sometimes found it exhausting to just be
bothered by one person and I knew that it was bondage but
to let go when you had hurt me was not the easiest thing.
And sometimes I would stay for a long time without talking
to someone and fooled into thinking that it was the best
thing. Most people who lack confidence because of their
past find themselves locked into a dark windowless room
of un-forgiveness. And they are still to learn that forgiveness
is not really about the other person but it about the forgiver
and God. We forgive to free ourselves and also to honor
God who demands that we must forgive our brethren. If
God is any important to you at all then forgiveness must not
be a struggle. It is a two-way street where God says forgive
your brothers so that your father in heaven will also not
forgive you and also we say to God forgive us as we have
forgiven those who have wronged us. It is a deal not
between you and the person who has hurt you but between
you and God. The other person is not even in the same
field. DO NOT MAKE IT ABOUT THEM!

Consistency in doing the right thing can make issues of self-
confidence go away. In other words, you can gain your
confidence back by doing the right thing in whatever circle
you belong. In your family and at work or in the church, if
we begin to have integrity in whatever we do, and our word
becomes honored more times than not. When people
begin to throw words around that show that you are honest
and trusted it will boost your confidence and hinder you
from relapsing into being an unreliable insecure person.

To avoid relapsing, we also need to be people focused
more on the present and the future and as less as possible
in the past because that is bondage and days of exile for us.
If we focus, there it is not only painful but it also draining
and exhausting and works against progress. In the present
we can correct somethings and have a better future but in
the past, we can do nothing except expose our hearts to the
risk of bitterness. God knows that as well, which is why His
plans for us are focused on the hope of thefuture not
sorrows of the captivity of the past.


Chapter Nine

Scriptures

-From Where We Can Hear God-

It is important to read the whole bible to really know God
and what he says about you. These scriptures are for those
who need a jumpstart and a word to go to directly
meanwhile reading the bible according to your bible
reading plan.

God can speak from anywhere in His Word and be
successful in bringing to us. These are just some scriptures
that I have found to be suitable and will help someone
dealing with issues if confidence.

I have observed that in most cases when we find ourselves
having lost confidence in ourselves and even in God it is
because we are stuck at a certain place in the past. We are
basically stuck in exile, but God can bring us back and with
a promise of hope and future.

Some are stuck in fear, some are stuck in bitterness and
unforgiveness, some are stuck in disappointment, some are
stuck in pain and sorrows we cannot begin to imagine but
from these scriptures below God speaks to every situations
and He keeps reminding us from His Word that we will
never be alone and to be courageous not because we are
very strong but because he is always with us.

1 Chronicles 28:20 (NKJV)

20 And David said to his son Solomon, “Be strong and of
good courage, and do it; do not fear nor be dismayed, for
the Lord God—my God—will be with you. He will not leave
you nor forsake you, until you have finished all the work
for the service of the house of the Lord.

1 Corinthians 15:58

58 Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let
nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work
of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord
is not in vain.

Deuteronomy 31:6-8

6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified
because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you.” 7 Then Moses
summoned Joshua and said to him in the presence of all
Israel, “Be strong and courageous, for you must go with this
people into the land that the LORD swore to their
ancestors to give them, and you must divide it among them
as their inheritance. 8 The LORD himself goes before you
and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake
you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Ephesians 6:10

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power.

Isaiah 54:4

4 “Do not be afraid; you will not be put to shame. Do not
fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the
shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach
of your widowhood.

John 14:27

27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not
give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be
troubled and do not be afraid.

Psalm 27:1

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation— whom shall I
fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life— of whom
shall I be afraid?

Psalm 56:3-4

3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. 4 In God, whose
word I praise— in God I trust and am not afraid. What can
mere mortals do to me?

2 Timothy 1:7

7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but
gives us power, love and self-discipline.

Joshua 1:9-11

9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD
your God will be with you wherever you go.” 10 So Joshua
ordered the officers of the people: 11 “Go through the
camp and tell the people, ‘Get your provisions ready.
Three days from now you will cross the Jordan here to go
in and take possession of the land the LORD your God is
giving you for your own.’”

Isaiah 41:10-13

10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed,
for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I
will uphold you with my righteous right hand. 11 “All who
rage against you will surely be ashamed and disgraced; those
who oppose you will be as nothing and perish. 12 Though
you search for your enemies, you will not find them. Those
who wage war against you will be as nothing at all. 13 For I
am the LORD your God who takes hold of your right hand
and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

1 Corinthians 16:13

13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous;
be strong.

Psalm 27:14

14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait
for the LORD.

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on
your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.

Mark 5:36

36 Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, “Don’t be
afraid; just believe.”

Philippians 1:28

28 without being frightened in any way by those who
oppose you. This is a sign to them that they will be
destroyed, but that you will be saved—and that by God.

Psalm 112:7

7 They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are
steadfast, trusting in the LORD.

Psalm 31:24

24 Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the
LORD.


Chapter 10

-Important Things to Know-

It is important to know what you are dealing with but that
can only happen one you admit that there is a problem to
be dealt with to begin with. There are things that you must
of course make a deliberate move to get rid of.

FACTS:

Lack confidence is not a demon and cannot be cast out
but what I have seen is that over a period it can become a
serious barrier in someone’s life. And to come back it must
be taken apart brick by brick until the said person begins to
understand their worth. Because of the actions that we often
take and decisions we make because we do not trust God
or even ourselves, we can bring a lot of demonic activity to
our lives because we lack confidence.

It needs someone to come against with all force and intent
and most importantly trusting in the Lord because lack of
confidence also aims to take away the strength and will
power of a person. (Isaiah 40:31)

It cannot be conquered without prayer and the Word of
God otherwise it will be temporary. Permanent solution
comes from God and God alone. From experience in
dealing with this sort of thing I have seen that only God can
do it. The reason is that when you suffer lack of confidence
over time you develop many personalities and character
traits because the things is that you just do not want to be
who you really are. So over time you strive to become
someone whom you think is perfect and you cannot
manufacture character and personality, so the best way out
is to copy every single person that you meet. So, in the end
the real you may even disappear. You can copy accents,
body language, movements, walks, talks and anything that
can be copied. In the end you find out that we can no longer
tell which is the original you and the clone you, even you,
might find it difficult to know who you really are. Which is
why I am saying that to get back maybe a maze but if you
have made a decision, God will make it possible and
doable.

Every day I have realized that I love myself more than those
people that I used to copy, and I begin to understand that
most of them were not nearly as strong as I am but my
background had made sure that I do not notice myself to
be a special person.

It is also a fact that lack of confidence can delay you in life.
First of all, when you are busy copying what everyone is
doing who is living your life? I have wondered. Who is
fulfilling your purpose? because like it or not everyone has
a purpose in this world. Everyone has something that they
must be doing while on this earth but while you are busy
shunning who you are there is delay. You can delay your
marriage, your job, your career, your calling and many
other things including successful relationships with God
and people.

When you are busy in doubt about yourself you cannot
have a relationship with anyone, but you will be highly
successful at making enemies all over the place. Most
enemies I have made are because of decisions I made
because of my insecurities and selfishness and did not for a
second to see to how the decision I am making will affect
me or the other person even in the years to come.

You will find yourself in trouble often just because good
decision making is just not your thing. Most of the time you
want to things to prove a point and that lands you in trouble.

You can lose all sense of reality. It is very true. First of all,
you are no longer there but you are combination of many
personalities that you have copied over time or you are just
faking it. Now, when it is time to deal with real things, real
situations it is not that easy.


WHAT NOT TO WORRY ABOUT:

Once you decide go for it and trust God to handle the rest.
It is much possible if you surrender to the Lord. The only
one who knows you and has known you forever is God and
he can deliver you in no time. It is not bigger than God.

We must quickly admit that we have lost the way and that
also quickly admit that we need God, that we need his help
and we will find our way back in no time.

We should not worry about the past or the future. The past
is the past even though there are those people who will
never let you forget the mistakes you made in the past. It is
important to know one more thing, those people are not
your enemies, but they are part of your testimony and they
have to be there lest I forgot how dark it was and I slip back.
The more they say how bad you used the more God is
glorified. My point is that I don’t spend all my time
meditating on the past and haunted by thoughts of guilt
because of my past but I am more focused on the decisions
of the present that will determine a great future.

God knows us best.

People who are struggling with confidence are being
destroyed mostly by what people say, people around them,
relatives, people who used to know them, people who go to
church with them and so forth. Do the right thing and do
not worry about what people will say.

Rather worry about what God will say and do what God
wants you to do and while in the Word of God begin to
hear what or whom he says you are and begin to live your
life that way.


IT IS IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER:

-That you are not small, but you are just the perfect size.
We were created in the image of God and his Spirit dwells
within us. How can you possibly be small?

-That you must develop a thick skin so that not every little
thing hurts you and sets you sprawling back into the dark
days.

- That you must not develop bitterness with whomever has
done bad things in the past or who is still doing bad things
to you.

- That you are on a journey to get yourself back

-That you are not the victim

-That you stand to give a testimony because of those bad
things that happened to you

-That pity-parties get no honest attendees...Just do not host
any from now on…It is boring, deadly and dangerous there.
You might never come back

-Be sensible

-That you should take it one day at a time and if you fall off
the wagon just get up and keep going in the right direction.
Do not go back.

-That you must stay away from negative people who bring
you down.

-And most importantly that you are not alone, you are never
alone. God is with you.


DO NOT ALLOW YOURSELF:

-To be overwhelmed

-To feel guilty

-To wallow in self-pity

-to linger on self-condemnation



-NOTE-

This book and the information in it will be even more
useful to you if you have received Jesus Christ as your
personal savior. So, I would not complete this book if I do
not give that option to those who find that it is a route that
they would love to take. Jesus Christ himself explained
unless we are born again, we will not see the Kingdom of
heaven. ( John 3 1-5)

Romans 10:9-10 (NKJV)

9 that if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and
believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the
dead, you will be saved. 10 For with the heart one believes
unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made
unto salvation.

-PRAYER FOR SALVATION-

Lord I pray in the name of Jesus

I believe that Jesus Christ is your son and that He came
On this earth and died for my sins. I believe that He is my
own personal savior. Thank you for forgiving me all my sins
that I have committed and receiving me in your Kingdom
as your child. Teach me how to be you child. Thank you,
father, for receiving me. In the name of Jesus, I pray.
Amen.

This is the great and the best decision you have ever made.
You are now a child and the heavens celebrate. Begin to
live your life as a child of God. Shun the wrong and do the
right. Th old is gone and the new has come.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has
come:[a] The old has gone, the new is here!



Halleluiah!! Praise the Lord God Almighty.

 

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