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PASSIONATE PREPARATION

YES, LORD

I don't want to present myself as a prophet or a perfect saint. I am not. I have at times since these dreams blistered at God or tried to ignore His call. But today, repentant, I am serving Him with all my heart as He gives me the grace. I am simply His little child, His beloved, growing in love.

In the late 90's I entered a 20 day fast after which I experienced unusual dreams including a devastating tornado, an earthquake and a tidal wave. A little later, I had a dream in which I was being chased by Anti-Christ supporters while I was warning people of the rampant deception in the world and in the church. I was without possessions, reputation or physical safety, only my faith in God remained and a burning desire to rescue the lost and lukewarm. I took on many disguises to escape my pursuers so I could continue to declare the gospel. (During this fast I was not studying end-times or the book of revelation. I was praying and fasting for some specific needs in my church.) Later that year, after a Daniel's fast, I could not speak in English for a whole day and when I did speak,these words came out; "a fire is being lit, in small pockets first, then building, growing and spreading until it covers the earth and produces the results I have desired." Shortly afterward I had recurring dreams of tidal waves. I don't claim to have complete understanding into all these things, but I know that my heart and my life began to change. I couldn't attend a church service without weeping and interceding, even groaning for the next few years. No-one, including me could understand at that time what was happening, and I stopped going to services. In spite of that, I maintained very close Christian fellowship with some dear people.

Then around 2002 I had a very vivid dream in which a nuke went off and obliterated my region. I died and was instantly transported into a place of pure light. I immediately knew this light was the person of God. This light penetrated my mind, will and emotions and brought into the open deep hidden hurts and motives without a word being spoken. This sense of profound exposure was paralleled by an assurance of His all-encompassing love. I awoke very quickly, under much conviction and shaken, yet with an overwhelming revelation of the immense love of the Father for me. For months afterward I had an almost tangible sense of the nearness of eternity. I was challenged not to wait until death to let God cleanse and expose my heart but to take the time NOW while I have the opportunity to do so. I did not instantly obey. So many things had remained hidden, I was deceived into thinking all was well when it was not (after all, I was prophesying, healing the sick and casting out demons - but did He really know me?)

I have since realized that intimacy is VERY important to Jesus. A marriage cannot be intimate unless both partners are willing to risk full exposure. He is asking for the same from His bride, and although the process can be painful and humbling, His love is healing and restoring to the point where we lose ourselves in Him. I believe this call to lay ourselves before His burning, holy fire (or whatever you happen to call it) is preparation for the times ahead and for eternity. Jesus wants to fully know us. Passion comes from the word 'suffer.' I'm just beginning to understand what it means to be passionate for the Lord. We have already witnessed part of what it meant for Him to be passionate toward us ('the passion'). And there is so much more He will show us of His passion. But the decision is mine, the decision is yours. Will we give Him unrestricted access to our lives? Will we be a bride prepared? I pray that all of us who hear the call will respond quickly and fully. Whether or not my dreams are prophetic in the sense that they will happen isn't my focus. The question is: am I prepared for what I saw in these dreams and will I let myself be prepared? My answer is now 'Yes, Lord.'

Laura (Canada)

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