PASSIONATE PREPARATION

PASSIONATE PREPARATION

YES, LORD

I don't want to present myself as a prophet or a perfect saint. I am not. I have at times since these dreams blistered at God or tried to ignore His call. But today, repentant, I am serving Him with all my heart as He gives me the grace. I am simply His little child, His beloved, growing in love.

In the late 90's I entered a 20 day fast after which I experienced unusual dreams including a devastating tornado, an earthquake and a tidal wave. A little later, I had a dream in which I was being chased by Anti-Christ supporters while I was warning people of the rampant deception in the world and in the church. I was without possessions, reputation or physical safety, only my faith in God remained and a burning desire to rescue the lost and lukewarm. I took on many disguises to escape my pursuers so I could continue to declare the gospel. (During this fast I was not studying end-times or the book of revelation. I was praying and fasting for some specific needs in my church.) Later that year, after a Daniel's fast, I could not speak in English for a whole day and when I did speak,these words came out; "a fire is being lit, in small pockets first, then building, growing and spreading until it covers the earth and produces the results I have desired." Shortly afterward I had recurring dreams of tidal waves. I don't claim to have complete understanding into all these things, but I know that my heart and my life began to change. I couldn't attend a church service without weeping and interceding, even groaning for the next few years. No-one, including me could understand at that time what was happening, and I stopped going to services. In spite of that, I maintained very close Christian fellowship with some dear people.

Then around 2002 I had a very vivid dream in which a nuke went off and obliterated my region. I died and was instantly transported into a place of pure light. I immediately knew this light was the person of God. This light penetrated my mind, will and emotions and brought into the open deep hidden hurts and motives without a word being spoken. This sense of profound exposure was paralleled by an assurance of His all-encompassing love. I awoke very quickly, under much conviction and shaken, yet with an overwhelming revelation of the immense love of the Father for me. For months afterward I had an almost tangible sense of the nearness of eternity. I was challenged not to wait until death to let God cleanse and expose my heart but to take the time NOW while I have the opportunity to do so. I did not instantly obey. So many things had remained hidden, I was deceived into thinking all was well when it was not (after all, I was prophesying, healing the sick and casting out demons - but did He really know me?)