How to Tie a Tie

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How to Tie a Tie

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Sojourn With Luz Leigh

How to Tie a Tie

Written by Luz Leigh - 08 March 2010

Do you know what I like about listening to the morning personality Kooter the Kountry boy on the local radio station? The spontaneity of that man. He and his cohorts Doc Holliday and Leroy (how about those redneck names???) can bring a smile, if not a boisterous laugh, to the most grumpy listener. This morning the weather is not what would be called Chamber of Commerce weather, but leave it to Kooter to brighten up the day.

Today we were treated to an on the air episode of "How to Tie a Tie." After informing his listeners that he was not dressed in his usual work attire, shorts and shirt, Kooter explained that he needed get his tie tied, so he would be presentable to serve as a pall bearer of a dear friend this morning. We hear as he and Doc decide just where the skinny end of the tie should reach. "Right between this button and the next one." After measuring, it was determined the skinny end should reach "right here." It became evident the task of putting the tie on while wearing his head set could not be done. Thus the headset was removed for a few minutes.

Before the episode was completed Brooke and Steve have entered the control room to watch the action. In my mind I thought maybe Brooke was there to complete the job, but Kooter managed to wrap the longer end of the tie around the skinny end. He then did the "fox chasing the rabbit" to end the procedure. Sounds simple, doesn't it? Well, for some folks it might be, but this morning Kooter seemed to be having a bit of trouble. Probably because he had such a large audience watching, and an even larger audience listening as he and Doc described the maneuvers. Doc suggested he consider one of the clip-on ties to which Kooter responded, "Naah, I wore those as a teen." Does this indicate that Kooter considers himself a mature person now?

Sort of like color commentators at a ball game, they filled in some of the time discussing dress suits. Kooter said he purchased his from Omar the Tentmaker a few years ago. Doc shared that he obtained his suit from Ringling Bros. Circus. "Is that a 3-three ring suit?" Kooter inquired. For those of you who do not know these men, let me explain something. They shop at the Big Men's Stores for good reason. I love to stand by either of them; makes me looks slim, and folks, that takes some doing.

Kooter is now beginning to rush just a bit so he will not be late for his appointment with the body of his cousin, a beloved minister in these parts. He commented that the preacher would have approved of the on air description of the tie incident and enjoyed the jovial time. That brought to mind the familiar smile that Bro. Dave always displayed.

During the time the tie episode was taking place, ordinarily Kooter and Doc would have been doing "Unclear on the Concept," a daily segment in which they discuss news items that are a little on the odd side. I thought that if anyone tuned in late this morning, and got in on this episode, that listener might certainly think this was one of the best "unclears" we have been privileged to hear.

Can't wait to tune in tomorrow to see if those two radio personalities will be discussing the pros and cons of owning and using regular ties versus the use of clip-on or zipper ties.

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