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by Alissa Lynne - Purple Butterfly of Christ

Chapter 5 - The Beginning


Purple Butterfly

by Alissa Lynne - Purple Butterfly of Christ

Part Two - Thoughts

Chapter 5 - The Beginning

Issues, Problems, Dilemmas, & Drama

I look at life situations in this manner: We have Issues, Problems, Dilemmas, and Drama. Here is how I see it:

Issues: Issues are the smallest, may need a few minutes of prayer, issues are easiest to hand over to God and forget. Issues can occur every few minutes as life is full of issues.

Problems: Problems are a bigger than issues, may take a few prayers before we truly hand over to God as they usually occur when we allow ourselves to handle a few of life issues on our own instead of turning it over to God when the issue first appears. A lot of problems, dilemmas, and drama are due to us not handing over our issues and problems as soon as they occur.

Dilemmas: Dilemmas are compounded problems, we usually ask others to pray with us or for us when these kinds of life situations occur. We should realize that even though we created these dilemmas mostly due to ourselves, sometimes it is life and sometimes it is we are reaping what we sowed, but we can still give it over to Jesus and let Him deal with it., if we do not do it at this point – HERE COMES ...

DRAMA: Drama is 100% on us; we will allow people and/or things to affect our very behavior, which will cause the drama in life. We did not turn the issues, problems or dilemmas completely over to Jesus before it became drama. Drama has people praying for us before we even ask for prayers. We have our mothers or family members consistently praying to God on our behalf. If you find yourself with DRAMA, stop what you are doing, fall to your knees and start to pray, do not get up until all the tears stop and you can think straight, then before getting up, praise Him and Thank Him for all His blessings. I had DRAMA in my life for almost a year – it was not until I woke up and smell the roses around me did I realize what was truly going on

We have to make sure that we are in constant prayer and praise with God. We can avoid life’s issues, problems, dilemmas, and DRAMA by walking closely with Jesus and trusting God in all things that comes our way. God will bless us and direct our ways if we let Go and Let God!!

I Thessalonians 5:14-24 Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil. And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.

I am thankful to God for my recovery. I was a victim of many different types of abuse…physical, sexual, emotional, and mental. I thank God for bringing me through each one. I thank God for His guidance when I had no idea who He was. I thank God for allowing me to recover with my mind in tact, with my heart still loving and with my body still functioning.

I am thankful to God for allowing me to forgive those that hurt me: My mother, my step father, my two ex-husbands, my ex boyfriends, and myself. I am thankful to God for showing me that it is not just those that hurt me that I have to forgive but I had to forgive myself for all that I was putting myself through.

I am thankful to God for giving me the strength to stand up and walk even when I did not want to go on, I am thankful to God that I am still in the land of the living that I did not kill myself when I wanted to. I am thankful to God for speaking to me and letting me know that I am blessed and highly favored

I am thankful to God for being with me every single day of my life and protecting me even when I thought I was not being protected. I am blessed and God has been with me through all my pain.

I am thankful to God for leading me the way that He is leading me. He has blessed me to be able to encourage others in their walk in recovering and healing from the pain of abuse.

I am thankful to God for His grace and mercy for I am still alive. So many who have been abused are no longer here walking the earth either because of their abusers or by their own hands.

I am thankful to God for all that He has done for me. Praise God for all the mercy and grace of my life!

It does not matter who you are, you could be a woman who all think should be on top of the world and be crying yourself to sleep at night. It is funny how others and sometimes what we let others perceive of us, we need to rid ourselves of the masks we wear and allow the Lord to shine through us.

Ever since I was a young child, I was open to all that came my way. I would talk your ear off, but I was not talking about much. As I grew into my adult hood, I was still doing the same thing. I was letting people in only so far, no one went past a certain point of trust. I was married to a man that had no idea who I was because I did not trust him enough to let him in. I am a slow mover in this area. I had trusted him with my abuse as a child that WAS NOT DISCUSSED IN OUR FAMILY and he did not keep it to himself. It causes some issues in my family, so I stopped trusting him. I have to thank him this day for doing it, my siblings did not know and now they do. I was able to talk about it freely to them and then I truly started to heal. I grew up distant from them always the bossy big sister. I am still the bossy big sister, but now I am the big sister who will do whatever she can for them.

Since I have been so open about my life by posting it on the internet for all to see, many in my family question it. I respect that and admire that in them, to a point. I have been keeping things inside of me MY ENTIRE LIFE! I have decided to let it all go and in doing so, I have become so free and it feels so good.

God came into my life and my talk has changed from woes me to PRAISE THE LORD. I have gone from babbling about me to babbling about the Lord. I love talking about the Lord, I do and can talk about other things but it all relates back to Jesus.

So for me, opening up is my way of reaching out to my fellow sisters and encouraging them to keep moving in the Lord, keep striving to walk as He wills for us to do. I am doing this because of my love of the Lord and because God is a moving force in my life.

I am not here to glorify me but to glorify the Lord. I know that there are women out there with a bunch of stories that are just so full of encouragement but they are afraid of speaking because of what others will say. Well my sister, I am here today to say, SPEAK!

First, if you release it, it will heal you, it will bring you closer to God.

If you speak it, then you will help someone else who is in your shoes.

If you live it, you will encourage another sister to keep on.

This is what we are about, the work of the Lord. God is with you and I know that if you speak up, a sister will be blessed and able to keep walking.

Just remember we are here to encourage each other and draw men unto the Lord with the Light that He has placed in us.


First please understand this, before Jesus, I was the stereotype of a strong, independent black sista, who needed no man not only do anything for her, but did not need him telling her what to do. I was going to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it and made sure that every man I knew understood this. For women, who are still in this stage, my sisters I urge you to pray and seek God’s guidance to change, try starting with I Corinthians 6 & 7 and Ephesians 5. Please read all of the chapters and please do some studying and research – keep your heart open and please allow yourself to hear what God is saying to you. The way I used to think was so out of line with the Lord’s will, and I suffered much because of it.

I take joy in the fact that I am a child of God and a woman. I have chosen to wear dresses and skirts, to no longer wear jeans/pants. I know some people think this does not apply to today, but I have to say that I used to think that too until I asked God and asked Him if it was for me to wear dresses/skirts only, that I be convicted in my heart. Whenever I question anything anyone says, I ask God for conviction in my heart and to show me it in the word. Every time I sincerely seek to do His will, and seek His guidance with an open heart and wanting the truth, He reveals himself.

Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.

Well after reading that and then doing some studying, my heart was changed, but what really convicted me was wearing the dresses and skirts, my whole demeanor has changed in how I carry myself physically and mentally. I pay more attention to my appearance, and how I present myself, even the manner in which I speak to others has changed. I look at those that are still wearing the short skirts and the revealing tops, the thing that gets me is some will complain that men are staring at their chest or the behinds, well to be honest if it is out there for all to see, men are going to look. If you want them to see you for who you are, then cover it up.

We are all-human and have the nature to have lust in us, well do not present yourself in that manner and they will stop. There are women on line who have all kinds of pictures of themselves pretty much booty naked and wonder why the weirdoes are approaching them. Humm could it be that you feel sexy, well to be honest if you are secure in yourself, you can feel sexy no matter what you have on, including dresses that are modest in appearance. I know for me when I would wear revealing clothes it was for the attention and I did not care whose man was looking at me or paying attention to me, or why he was doing it. He was doing it not because I am a good person inside; he was doing it because I was showing what I had. He liked what he saw and he wanted what he saw, and my dumb butt sometimes gave him what he saw.

I had low self esteem of myself and when you have that, there will be some things that are done that are not in line with God. I feel more like a lady in a dress and to be honest, nicer men approach me now; I still do not want to date them but at least they come at me from a different angle, almost respecting me more. Any woman that feels that I am off my rockers, do this, sincerely ask God to show you and convict your heart about dressing for the Lord and you will see that He will show you. Please listen to what God says to you and where He directs you, open your heart, and mind to accept what He is saying to you. You have to understand that everything we do is for the Lord, so yes I am dressing for the Lord, showing my respect for whom I am and whose child I am. I feel better about my relationship and myself with the Lord.

I take joy in the fact that I am a woman who can be submissive to her future husband. I have not only learned from my prior mistakes with my ex husband, but the Lord has revealed so much about being a submissive woman, not only to my future husband, but most important submissive to God too.

I think that we women take the submission part the wrong way, there is nothing wrong with being submissive to our husbands, our husbands are the head and we are the help meet, we should be there supporting our husbands and being there for them. I believe any good woman does this; any woman who truly loves the Lord does not have a problem with this because this is what God has told us to do. Now, mind you, if we are living our lives as God would have it, our husbands are saved and following God, if we are saved and our husbands are not, pray for God to save your husband and show by example how wonderful God is. Just as we witness to others, we should witness to our husbands.

I take joy in the fact that I can witness to someone who hurt me. Mind you, if you have read my life story, there was a lot of pain in my life, but when you love someone with all your heart and they take your heart and they continually rip it to pieces and you still hold on in hopes of restoration of the situation that is so painful. I am thankful that the Lord has given me the courage to step out away from that relationship and that He has given me peace with it and has shown me the way to forgive him. I shall never forget, but I do forgive which allows me to witness to him and I pray every day for his sake he is changed and turns his life over to Jesus, for my fear is that he will continue on the path he is on and not only end up dead, but end up having eternal death. As a Christian, we should never wish that on anyone, and our souls should cry over those that are lost.

I take joy in the fact that I have not had a cigarette since May 1, 2006. It is still a struggle sometimes, but God has all the glory for I have not had one since. My body is a temple and I am to treat it accordingly. I will not smoke again as long as God is the head of my life. For me to pick up a cigarette now means that He is not the head of my life and He is very much the head of my life. PRAISE GOD!

I take joy in the fact that I have self-esteem and respect for myself. I have been through so much, God has brought me through it, and He has blessed me so much. God has shown me that all I need is Jesus, I do not need anyone to justify who I am as a woman, that I do not need a man to make me happy in life. I need Jesus to be happy in life. Do not misunderstand me, He has shown me that a man is not to be the center of my life that Jesus is to be the center of my life. If I am to marry again, I am to understand that before my husband, God is to come first, after that all things in its proper place.

I take joy in the fact that I am raising my son with the Lord in our lives. I want my son to have the foundation in the Lord so if he ever strays from it; he knows the Father to find his way back to Him.

I take joy in the fact that I can praise Him even when I am down, in pain, or stressed. I need to praise God when I am down; it is the only way I can get back up. I praise God that I know this, that He has instilled in my heart to be a Prayer and Praise Warrior. I love praising God for I always feel better. I get goose bumps all over me when I do; it just feels good praising the Lord.

As Christians, dating should not be taken lightly; dating is for someone who is believed to be your future spouse. So do I have friends who are men, yes I do, we talk and it is nice to talk to them, we talk about the Lord and the good of the Lord, and whatnot. I like to keep the conversation at that level because that tells me a lot about where the man is coming from. I have met several men and to be honest, God is really good to me, He comes out and tells me what is up with that, I asked for that and God makes it really clear. He convicted my heart about dating and when I was not listening to that aspect, He made sure I could not stand the guy, that the guy worked my last nerve. I will say this, when you talk to someone and they work your last nerve, you will leave them alone. Some of the men said they were Christian men but have not stepped in a church in over a year. Well that was a no-no there, but hey, I need friends who are Christians, then when you start hearing how they are sleeping with this and that, I knew then it was time to cut that off. One of them told me that I was not a Christian and may God have mercy on my soul. I had to laugh and thought to myself, may God have mercy on my soul for trying to deal with you in the first place. (Oops being a bad girl now – forgive me)

I take joy in the fact that He has shown me that I do not have to give into the lust of my body. I PRAISE GOD TOTALLY FOR THE CONVICTION of my body and how special my body is. I praise God for I could be out there being an almost 40 year old “hoochie mama”, looking for love in all the wrong places.

I take joy in the fact that He has shown me that in Him there is no such thing as “casual” dating. I cannot kid myself here. Dating causally is wrong for me – I am not to be out there scooping for my next husband that should not be my goal. I am to wait on the Lord to do it for me. So dating all these different men is nuts. I have a friend who told me once, that he meets women and he knows after a few conversations if they are for him or not. I have asked God to give me that kind of knowledge, being a Christian woman. Men tend to come after you because they know you are a Christian woman; they know when you are serious about it and when you are not. If you are a Christian woman, some men will just come at you because they figure you are a woman who takes pride in herself and will respect him too. I have made a decision to not date any man that God has not told me to do so.

God is good to me and there is no way anyone is going to be with me in that manner unless he is my husband. I know that will weed out many men. I am pleased about this, for when you have been married for a while, that is kind of your “normal” routine and to walk away from that and not have it anymore is very hard. God is good and all praises go to Him. (I am sorry if the frankness of this subject is too much for some – but I have to keep it real. I am not ashamed of who I am and whom I represent or any aspect of my life that He has delivered me from!)

I have to say that God is just wonderful and He is still working on me every day. I am joyful that He works on me every day and every day He is with me directing my life and where I am headed in life. I praise Him for I know that no matter where I am headed, it is all good!

I know that if I do this:

Proverbs 3:5-6

5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

That this will be too:

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

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Published by: Alissa Lynne – Verona, PA

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