THE TRUTH OF ALISSA LYNNE
by Alissa Lynne - Purple Butterfly of Christ
Part Two - Thoughts
Chapter 5 - The Beginning
Issues, Problems, Dilemmas, & Drama
I look at life situations in
this manner: We have Issues, Problems, Dilemmas, and Drama. Here is how I
see it:
Issues: Issues are the smallest, may need a few minutes of prayer, issues are
easiest to hand over to God and forget. Issues can occur every few minutes
as life is full of issues.
Problems: Problems are a bigger than issues, may take a few prayers before we truly
hand over to God as they usually occur when we allow ourselves to handle a
few of life issues on our own instead of turning it over to God when the
issue first appears. A lot of problems, dilemmas, and drama are due to us
not handing over our issues and problems as soon as they occur.
Dilemmas: Dilemmas are
compounded problems, we usually ask others to pray with us or for us when
these kinds of life situations occur. We should realize that even though
we created these dilemmas mostly due to ourselves, sometimes it is life
and sometimes it is we are reaping what we sowed, but we can still give it
over to Jesus and let Him deal with it., if we do not do it at this point
– HERE COMES ...
DRAMA: Drama is 100% on us; we will allow people and/or things to affect our very
behavior, which will cause the drama in life. We did not turn the issues,
problems or dilemmas completely over to Jesus before it became drama.
Drama has people praying for us before we even ask for prayers. We have
our mothers or family members consistently praying to God on our behalf.
If you find yourself with DRAMA, stop what you are doing, fall to your
knees and start to pray, do not get up until all the tears stop and you
can think straight, then before getting up, praise Him and Thank Him for
all His blessings. I had DRAMA in my life for almost a year – it was not
until I woke up and smell the roses around me did I realize what was truly
going on
We have to make sure that we
are in constant prayer and praise with God. We can avoid life’s issues,
problems, dilemmas, and DRAMA by walking closely with Jesus and trusting
God in all things that comes our way. God will bless us and direct our
ways if we let Go and Let God!!
I Thessalonians 5:14-24 Now we
exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded,
support the weak, be patient toward all men. See that none render evil for
evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among
yourselves, and to all men. Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In
every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus
concerning you. Quench not the Spirit. Despise not prophesyings. Prove all
things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil.
And the very God of peace sanctify you wholly; and I pray God your whole
spirit and soul and body be preserved blameless unto the coming of our
Lord Jesus Christ. Faithful is he that calleth you, who also will do it.
I am thankful to God for my
recovery. I was a victim of many different types of abuse…physical,
sexual, emotional, and mental. I thank God for bringing me through each
one. I thank God for His guidance when I had no idea who He was. I thank
God for allowing me to recover with my mind in tact, with my heart still
loving and with my body still functioning.
I am thankful to God for
allowing me to forgive those that hurt me: My mother, my step father, my
two ex-husbands, my ex boyfriends, and myself. I am thankful to God for
showing me that it is not just those that hurt me that I have to forgive
but I had to forgive myself for all that I was putting myself through.
I am thankful to God for
giving me the strength to stand up and walk even when I did not want to go
on, I am thankful to God that I am still in the land of the living that I
did not kill myself when I wanted to. I am thankful to God for speaking to
me and letting me know that I am blessed and highly favored
I am thankful to God for
being with me every single day of my life and protecting me even when I
thought I was not being protected. I am blessed and God has been with me
through all my pain.
I am thankful to God for
leading me the way that He is leading me. He has blessed me to be able to
encourage others in their walk in recovering and healing from the pain of
abuse.
I am thankful to God for His
grace and mercy for I am still alive. So many who have been abused are no
longer here walking the earth either because of their abusers or by their
own hands.
I am thankful to God for all
that He has done for me. Praise God for all the mercy and grace of my
life!
It does not matter who you
are, you could be a woman who all think should be on top of the world and
be crying yourself to sleep at night. It is funny how others and sometimes
what we let others perceive of us, we need to rid ourselves of the masks
we wear and allow the Lord to shine through us.
Ever since I was a young
child, I was open to all that came my way. I would talk your ear off, but
I was not talking about much. As I grew into my adult hood, I was still
doing the same thing. I was letting people in only so far, no one went
past a certain point of trust. I was married to a man that had no idea who
I was because I did not trust him enough to let him in. I am a slow mover
in this area. I had trusted him with my abuse as a child that WAS NOT
DISCUSSED IN OUR FAMILY and he did not keep it to himself. It causes some
issues in my family, so I stopped trusting him. I have to thank him this
day for doing it, my siblings did not know and now they do. I was able to
talk about it freely to them and then I truly started to heal. I grew up
distant from them always the bossy big sister. I am still the bossy big
sister, but now I am the big sister who will do whatever she can for them.
Since I have been so open
about my life by posting it on the internet for all to see, many in my
family question it. I respect that and admire that in them, to a point. I
have been keeping things inside of me MY ENTIRE LIFE! I have decided to
let it all go and in doing so, I have become so free and it feels so good.
God came into my life and my
talk has changed from woes me to PRAISE THE LORD. I have gone from
babbling about me to babbling about the Lord. I love talking about the
Lord, I do and can talk about other things but it all relates back to
Jesus.
So for me, opening up is my
way of reaching out to my fellow sisters and encouraging them to keep
moving in the Lord, keep striving to walk as He wills for us to do. I am
doing this because of my love of the Lord and because God is a moving
force in my life.
I am not here to glorify me
but to glorify the Lord. I know that there are women out there with a
bunch of stories that are just so full of encouragement but they are
afraid of speaking because of what others will say. Well my sister, I am
here today to say, SPEAK!
First, if you release it, it will heal you, it will bring you closer to
God.
If you speak it, then you will help someone else who is in your shoes.
If you live it, you will encourage another sister to keep on.
This is what we are about,
the work of the Lord. God is with you and I know that if you speak up, a
sister will be blessed and able to keep walking.
Just remember we are here to
encourage each other and draw men unto the Lord with the Light that He has
placed in us.
SPEAK UP AND SHARE!!!
First please understand this,
before Jesus, I was the stereotype of a strong, independent black sista,
who needed no man not only do anything for her, but did not need him
telling her what to do. I was going to do what I wanted to do when I
wanted to do it and made sure that every man I knew understood this. For
women, who are still in this stage, my sisters I urge you to pray and seek
God’s guidance to change, try starting with I Corinthians 6 & 7 and
Ephesians 5. Please read all of the chapters and please do some studying
and research – keep your heart open and please allow yourself to hear what
God is saying to you. The way I used to think was so out of line with the
Lord’s will, and I suffered much because of it.
I take joy in the fact that I
am a child of God and a woman. I have chosen to wear dresses and skirts,
to no longer wear jeans/pants. I know some people think this does not
apply to today, but I have to say that I used to think that too until I
asked God and asked Him if it was for me to wear dresses/skirts only, that
I be convicted in my heart. Whenever I question anything anyone says, I
ask God for conviction in my heart and to show me it in the word. Every
time I sincerely seek to do His will, and seek His guidance with an open
heart and wanting the truth, He reveals himself.
Deuteronomy 22:5 The woman
shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put
on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy
God.
Well after reading that and
then doing some studying, my heart was changed, but what really convicted
me was wearing the dresses and skirts, my whole demeanor has changed in
how I carry myself physically and mentally. I pay more attention to my
appearance, and how I present myself, even the manner in which I speak to
others has changed. I look at those that are still wearing the short
skirts and the revealing tops, the thing that gets me is some will
complain that men are staring at their chest or the behinds, well to be
honest if it is out there for all to see, men are going to look. If you
want them to see you for who you are, then cover it up.
We are all-human and have the
nature to have lust in us, well do not present yourself in that manner and
they will stop. There are women on line who have all kinds of pictures of
themselves pretty much booty naked and wonder why the weirdoes are
approaching them. Humm could it be that you feel sexy, well to be honest
if you are secure in yourself, you can feel sexy no matter what you have
on, including dresses that are modest in appearance. I know for me when I
would wear revealing clothes it was for the attention and I did not care
whose man was looking at me or paying attention to me, or why he was doing
it. He was doing it not because I am a good person inside; he was doing it
because I was showing what I had. He liked what he saw and he wanted what
he saw, and my dumb butt sometimes gave him what he saw.
I had low self esteem of
myself and when you have that, there will be some things that are done
that are not in line with God. I feel more like a lady in a dress and to
be honest, nicer men approach me now; I still do not want to date them but
at least they come at me from a different angle, almost respecting me
more. Any woman that feels that I am off my rockers, do this, sincerely
ask God to show you and convict your heart about dressing for the Lord and
you will see that He will show you. Please listen to what God says to you
and where He directs you, open your heart, and mind to accept what He is
saying to you. You have to understand that everything we do is for the
Lord, so yes I am dressing for the Lord, showing my respect for whom I am
and whose child I am. I feel better about my relationship and myself with
the Lord.
I take joy in the fact that I
am a woman who can be submissive to her future husband. I have not only
learned from my prior mistakes with my ex husband, but the Lord has
revealed so much about being a submissive woman, not only to my future
husband, but most important submissive to God too.
I think that we women take
the submission part the wrong way, there is nothing wrong with being
submissive to our husbands, our husbands are the head and we are the help
meet, we should be there supporting our husbands and being there for them.
I believe any good woman does this; any woman who truly loves the Lord
does not have a problem with this because this is what God has told us to
do. Now, mind you, if we are living our lives as God would have it, our
husbands are saved and following God, if we are saved and our husbands are
not, pray for God to save your husband and show by example how wonderful
God is. Just as we witness to others, we should witness to our husbands.
I take joy in the fact that I
can witness to someone who hurt me. Mind you, if you have read my life
story, there was a lot of pain in my life, but when you love someone with
all your heart and they take your heart and they continually rip it to
pieces and you still hold on in hopes of restoration of the situation that
is so painful. I am thankful that the Lord has given me the courage to
step out away from that relationship and that He has given me peace with
it and has shown me the way to forgive him. I shall never forget, but I do
forgive which allows me to witness to him and I pray every day for his
sake he is changed and turns his life over to Jesus, for my fear is that
he will continue on the path he is on and not only end up dead, but end up
having eternal death. As a Christian, we should never wish that on anyone,
and our souls should cry over those that are lost.
I take joy in the fact that I
have not had a cigarette since May 1, 2006. It is still a struggle
sometimes, but God has all the glory for I have not had one since. My body
is a temple and I am to treat it accordingly. I will not smoke again as
long as God is the head of my life. For me to pick up a cigarette now
means that He is not the head of my life and He is very much the head of
my life. PRAISE GOD!
I take joy in the fact that I
have self-esteem and respect for myself. I have been through so much, God
has brought me through it, and He has blessed me so much. God has shown me
that all I need is Jesus, I do not need anyone to justify who I am as a
woman, that I do not need a man to make me happy in life. I need Jesus to
be happy in life. Do not misunderstand me, He has shown me that a man is
not to be the center of my life that Jesus is to be the center of my life.
If I am to marry again, I am to understand that before my husband, God is
to come first, after that all things in its proper place.
I take joy in the fact that I
am raising my son with the Lord in our lives. I want my son to have the
foundation in the Lord so if he ever strays from it; he knows the Father
to find his way back to Him.
I take joy in the fact that I
can praise Him even when I am down, in pain, or stressed. I need to praise
God when I am down; it is the only way I can get back up. I praise God
that I know this, that He has instilled in my heart to be a Prayer and
Praise Warrior. I love praising God for I always feel better. I get goose
bumps all over me when I do; it just feels good praising the Lord.
As Christians, dating should
not be taken lightly; dating is for someone who is believed to be your
future spouse. So do I have friends who are men, yes I do, we talk and it
is nice to talk to them, we talk about the Lord and the good of the Lord,
and whatnot. I like to keep the conversation at that level because that
tells me a lot about where the man is coming from. I have met several men
and to be honest, God is really good to me, He comes out and tells me what
is up with that, I asked for that and God makes it really clear. He
convicted my heart about dating and when I was not listening to that
aspect, He made sure I could not stand the guy, that the guy worked my
last nerve. I will say this, when you talk to someone and they work your
last nerve, you will leave them alone. Some of the men said they were
Christian men but have not stepped in a church in over a year. Well that
was a no-no there, but hey, I need friends who are Christians, then when
you start hearing how they are sleeping with this and that, I knew then it
was time to cut that off. One of them told me that I was not a Christian
and may God have mercy on my soul. I had to laugh and thought to myself,
may God have mercy on my soul for trying to deal with you in the first
place. (Oops being a bad girl now – forgive me)
I take joy in the fact that
He has shown me that I do not have to give into the lust of my body. I
PRAISE GOD TOTALLY FOR THE CONVICTION of my body and how special my body
is. I praise God for I could be out there being an almost 40 year old
“hoochie mama”, looking for love in all the wrong places.
I take joy in the fact that
He has shown me that in Him there is no such thing as “casual” dating. I
cannot kid myself here. Dating causally is wrong for me – I am not to be
out there scooping for my next husband that should not be my goal. I am to
wait on the Lord to do it for me. So dating all these different men is
nuts. I have a friend who told me once, that he meets women and he knows
after a few conversations if they are for him or not. I have asked God to
give me that kind of knowledge, being a Christian woman. Men tend to come
after you because they know you are a Christian woman; they know when you
are serious about it and when you are not. If you are a Christian woman,
some men will just come at you because they figure you are a woman who
takes pride in herself and will respect him too. I have made a decision to
not date any man that God has not told me to do so.
God is good to me and there
is no way anyone is going to be with me in that manner unless he is my
husband. I know that will weed out many men. I am pleased about this, for
when you have been married for a while, that is kind of your “normal”
routine and to walk away from that and not have it anymore is very hard.
God is good and all praises go to Him. (I am sorry if the frankness of
this subject is too much for some – but I have to keep it real. I am not
ashamed of who I am and whom I represent or any aspect of my life that He
has delivered me from!)
I have to say that God is
just wonderful and He is still working on me every day. I am joyful that
He works on me every day and every day He is with me directing my life and
where I am headed in life. I praise Him for I know that no matter where I
am headed, it is all good!
I know that if I do this:
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own
understanding.
6 In all
thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
That this will be too:
Romans 8:28 And we know that all things
work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called
according to his purpose.
Published by: Alissa Lynne – Verona, PA
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted
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inclusion of brief quotations in a review.
Copyright © 2007 Alissa Lynne – Purple Butterfly of Christ - All rights
reserved
First Edition, 2007
Published in the United States of America
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