Search for Freedom

Search for Freedom

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For a long time, I was re-enacting the abuse I grew up in, Pride, Anger, Control. So when I chose to make my own choice, I only went back to my old life (Original Sin)?? which was full of painful memories, the horror that pre-existed before my Journey to discovering my true self. LOL ... I've been down this path only once & I've experienced the path to discovering my true self. From Sin to Christ-like. So I've had a taste of Heaven and Hell. Now I'm right in the middle. The Hell is my pre-existing experiences of turmoil, anguish, pity, sadness, and depression. (going back to your vomit)

2 Peter 2:22 - Of them the proverbs are true: "A dog returns to its vomit," and, "A sow that is washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud."

How have I escaped the darkness??

I remove myself from bad habits. Smoking was a bad habit for a long time, I used to put it first before anyone, but It became an addiction and a constant need, I was raising my Kids 24/7 running the Household, and doing all sorts, and used to smoke cigarettes to calm my nerves, but realized that my mind was craving it more often every 20 minutes, I used to say to myself when I got like 5 minutes of break time puffing a cigarette that it was like heaven in those 5 minutes, but then you start to feel toxic inside when you smoke too much, & that's when the questions arise, Will this affect my lungs? my health? lots of things.

Sometimes you have to be broken to be fixed/healed.

This is the hard part now, Many people fall into this trap. They say things like my life is over because I've come this far and there is no way out, and they end their lives because they think their issues are far greater than their victory, they don't see a way out, and they look at the issues that keep them trapped, but God says this.

Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

And if you are a person who focuses on your problems, put your focus on someone or something else, and let it motivate you to change within, change starts with desire. So you have to look where you're at first. It says in Isaiah 51 - Hearken to me, ye that follow after righteousness, ye that seek the LORD: look unto the rock whence ye are hewn, and to the hole of the pit whence ye are digged.

Write everything out on paper, the feelings that you feel. You will come to realize that most things that make you unhappy are temporal/carnal.

This is the hard part now, Many people fall into this trap. They say things like my life is over because I've come this far and there is no way out, and they end their lives because they think their issues are far greater than their victory, they don't see a way out, and they look at the issues that keep them trapped, but God says this:

Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

I'm not well equipped for this nor deserve this...why me??

That is what they all say. That is who God chooses.

Why does God choose Us to take the hardest journey. :cry: , Do you know that - It's also God choosing those who wouldn't think more highly of themselves, those who have nothing, and those who are rejected & despised. It's worse to be despised also.

Isaiah 59:9-10 - 9) Therefore is judgment far from us, neither doth justice overtake us: we wait for light, but behold obscurity; for brightness, but we walk in darkness. 10) We grope for the wall like the blind, and we grope as if we had no eyes: we stumble at noon day as in the night; we are in desolate places as dead men.

Change requires learning and facing the truth. Learning the truth and facing the truth.

When you know the truth the truth will set you free.

*Doh* All these things I'm facing are to do with my past, even lying mixed in as well with the issues I'm currently facing.

Genesis 3:13 - And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them? And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM: and he said, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, I AM hath sent me unto you.

So back to when I was referring to this I AM a short while ago, this is what I was referring to when I remember experiencing it as a Child growing up trying to understand what I AM meant & I sometimes make remarks about myself which I think are wrong like I AM an idiot, I AM depressed, I AM useless, I AM hopeless, is the word I AM referring to our inner most being, the stillness within? or the God who is everywhere?

It's choosing what you're going to think about.

if the Bible says in Matthew 18:6 - But Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

It means that Children are not born with sexual sin right, but born into it?

I'm following this Man of God's ministry to getting help.

John 3:20-21 - For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.

There's something I want to say about this it's a shame, but I lied to my partner about my age and told him I was 19 so that I could try to get laid & then I got busted by my Mother for it, further more coz my parents weren't buying me things, I mean me and my two younger siblings were living in a basic lifestyle, -.-, not something you would be proud of, so I went and got me a boyfriend to get me what I wanted coz my needs weren't being met at Home. Also in my relationship, issues from my past were surfacing, and I began keeping my boyfriend away from my Sister or family members because I began to see their bad deeds (also triggered by past SIN) Original Sin. I hope this made sense.

I'm also watching a ministry trying to figure out my defects and trying to tell the truth about my problems. Maybe this isn't the best way.

It's advised to find a Church or a Mental Health group, but I am undecided which to go to.

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