DOWN THE ROAD

Monday night was here and they were just pulling into the parking lot of the church. Kaye Leigh was nervous. Jeff took her hand as they walked inside.

“Are you ok?” he asked.

“A little nervous that’s all.” She replied.

“There’s no reason to be.” He said gently squeezing her hand.

“Jeff and Kaye Leigh it’s great to see you guys.” Pastor Mark said shaking their hands.

“Thank you for seeing us.” Jeff said.

“I’m glad you called Kaye Leigh.” Pastor Mark said. Kaye Leigh smiled. “Sit down and make yourselves comfortable. Do you want anything to drink?”

“No thanks I’m fine.” Kaye Leigh said.

“I’m fine too thanks.” Jeff said.

“Ok, then let’s start by praying.” Pastor Mark said and they all bowed their heads as Pastor Mark prayed. “Now Kaye Leigh what is it that you want to discuss?”

Kaye Leigh took a deep breath.

“These past few months I have done some pretty stupid things, I’ve thought crazy thoughts, and I don’t know how to let everything go. I know that I need to forgive myself, and the others who have done this, I just don’t know where to start.” She said.

“Let’s start with you Kaye Leigh.” Pastor Mark said. “Why can’t you forgive yourself?” Kaye Leigh laughed.

“I always knew deep down that Jeff would never hurt me by having an affair, but I bought into Morgan’s lies so quickly, I think it was like I was thinking that I didn’t deserve to be happy.” She said.

“Did you have thoughts like that before Morgan?” Jeff asked shocked.

“No, I was content and happy. I loved our life. But I am wondering if I was thinking that deep down, to just fall into Morgan’s trap so easily and to basically walk away from our marriage so readily.” She replied. Kaye Leigh wiped tears away.

“I don’t think that is the case Kaye Leigh. You cannot pretend to be as happy as you and Jeff are. Someone would see through it, you can only fool people for so long.” Pastor Mark said.

“I also don’t believe you bought into the lies so easily. There was hard proof looking at you. You said yourself that you searched for proof in those pictures of any little thing that would prove it was not Jeff. There just wasn’t a flaw in Morgan’s work.” Jeff nodded.

“I wanted to call her and Sam liars; I knew that it was all a lie. Sam always lied; I don’t know why I thought that this one time it might be the truth.” Kaye Leigh said standing up.

She was walking around the room. “I was so hurt and angry. I took it out on God, on my friends and family.”

“On yourself.” Jeff added.

“That’s the great thing about God and your friends and family, no matter what they don’t give up on you. You may say hurtful things, do hurtful things but they all still love you and will forgive you in a heartbeat.” Pastor Mark said.

“The night I found out about the supposed affair, I went to a bar and got drunk.” She said.

“That was a very foolish thing to do.” Jeff nodded. “I think I just used the news as an excuse to go back to my old life.” She said.

“Why do you think you wanted to go back to your old life?” Pastor Mark asked.

“When I seen those pictures my world just started to spin out of control. I had no idea where to go or what to do. Before it was so easy to pretend things were perfect, I know I was not in control in reality, but I felt like I was. That’s what I wanted was to control the situation.” She said.

“How were you controlling it by drinking?” Pastor Mark asked.

“I could drink enough to forget about it.” She replied.

“Did you forget about it even for a minute?” Jeff asked.

“No I don’t remember everything but Becki said that I made comments about it before I laid down in the hallway.” She said. “So no I didn’t forget.”

“Sinful nature takes over a lot of times when things are bad, but that sinful nature is only a mask it can’t take away the pain or hurt or anger eventually as you already know Kaye Leigh you will have to deal with all the issues.” Pastor Mark told her.

“I know.” She said. “I just am having a really hard time accepting the facts that Jeff can forgive me so easily, that he loves me that much too just look pass everything that has happened.”

“What are your thoughts Jeff?” Pastor Mark asked him.

“I love you so much Kaye Leigh. I forgave you as soon as I found out what was going on, I knew that you would find out the truth. When I left the house it about killed me to leave you, but I knew that if we were going to survive it would have to be that way for a while.” Jeff said. “Nothing or no one can ever take your place in my life Kaye Leigh. I did have to be reminded that I said I would follow you to the end of the earth when you left for North Carolina, but I have never and I will never give up on us.”

Kaye Leigh was crying again.

“I know that I don’t deserve someone like you Jeff, but I am so glad that God brought us together.” She said walking over to hug him.

“You don’t think you deserve Jeff?” Pastor Mark asked.

“Not with everything that I’ve done, no.” she replied.

“You deserve him and so much more Kaye Leigh. Do you realize what you went through, how far you have come, and how many people whose lives you have touched? You don’t know how many you have brought to the Lord with your writing, and lectures.” Pastor Mark said. “Are you perfect? No, none of us are, we are all sinners, but with repentance, you can be forgiven of your sins. All you have to do Kaye Leigh is ask, and you have to stop blaming yourself for this. Do you believe that you really caused all of this?”

“No I know I didn’t cause the mess with Morgan, I did however cause everyone to go to North Carolina.” She said.

“Ok, I’ll give you that one.” Pastor Mark said smiling. “No you didn’t cause any of it; yes you reacted to the circumstances just like anyone of us would have done.”

“That’s what we’ve been telling you Kaye Leigh, any of us would have believed those pictures.” Jeff said taking her hand.

“You’re right they would have. I know I did not cause this mess; I was a victim just as much as Jeff was. So now how do I go about forgiving them?” she asked.

“Have you forgiven them Jeff?” Jeff shook his head.

“I am really trying and praying but it’s hard to see pass the hurt they caused you both physically and emotionally.” He said.

“I think not only should you pray about it, both of you, but you need to confront them. Are you planning on going whenever they are sentenced?” Pastor Mark asked.

“Yes, they are being sentenced next week. All three of them in one day.” Jeff said. “I am really glad it will be over in one day, I think it’s a lot of stress on Kaye Leigh.” She smiled at him.

“I have an idea that I am thinking about I want to run pass you Pastor.” She said. “Jeff, I would like to do this part alone if it’s ok.”

“It’s fine, I will wait outside.” He said kissing her.

When Jeff left, Kaye Leigh went over the plan that she had been thinking of. Pastor Mark agreed that it was a good idea and that she should do it exactly the way she was thinking. When they finished talking Jeff came back in and they prayed again.

“Now we’re going to meet at least once a week right Kaye Leigh?” Pastor Mark said.

“Yes, for a while I think that would be a good idea.” She said.

“I agree.” He said. “Never forget Kaye Leigh that you and Jeff were brought together for a reason that only God knows and He never makes mistakes.” Kaye Leigh smiled at him.

“Thank you.” She said.

On their way out to the truck Kaye Leigh asked, “Now was that so bad?” she asked.

“No, but I think I am going to have to remind you again tonight just how much I love you.” He said.

“I think I will need reminding every night.” She said laughing.

“You know what I want Jeff?” Kaye Leigh asked.

“What?” he replied.

“I want some ice cream, strawberry cheesecake, and peanut butter cup.” She said.

“Together?” he asked.

“Yes.” She said. He laughed.

“Well then if that’s what you want then that’s what you will have.” He told her.

They had stopped at the store and headed home.

“Hello everyone.” Kaye Leigh said. “We brought ice cream.” The kids came running into the kitchen.

“Cool what kind?” Dan asked.

“About twenty, your mom couldn’t make up her mind.” Jeff said. Curtis laughed.

“You eat all that Kaye Leigh and you are going to be really huge.” He said.

When everyone sat had ice cream, they sat down in the living room and watched a movie.

“That’s was very good. Thank you.” Kaye Leigh said when she finished.

“You’re welcome.” Jeff replied kissing her.

“I’ll take care of the bowls.” Curtis said taking everyone’s bowls.

“Thank you.” Kaye Leigh told him.

“I’ve had a long day guys so I am going to go up to bed now. I will see you in the morning. Love you guys.” Kaye Leigh said.

“Night mom.” The kids said.

“Night Kaye Leigh.” Curtis and Becki said.

“You know Curtis you might as well move in here, you’re here more than you are at your house.” Kaye Leigh said smiling at him.