Monday night
was here and they were just pulling into the parking lot of
the church. Kaye Leigh was nervous. Jeff took her hand as they
walked inside.
“Are you ok?”
he asked.
“A little
nervous that’s all.” She replied.
“There’s no
reason to be.” He said gently squeezing her hand.
“Jeff and Kaye
Leigh it’s great to see you guys.” Pastor Mark said shaking
their hands.
“Thank you for
seeing us.” Jeff said.
“I’m glad you
called Kaye Leigh.” Pastor Mark said. Kaye Leigh smiled. “Sit
down and make yourselves comfortable. Do you want anything to
drink?”
“No thanks I’m
fine.” Kaye Leigh said.
“I’m fine too
thanks.” Jeff said.
“Ok, then let’s
start by praying.” Pastor Mark said and they all bowed their
heads as Pastor Mark prayed. “Now Kaye Leigh what is it that
you want to discuss?”
Kaye Leigh took
a deep breath.
“These past few
months I have done some pretty stupid things, I’ve thought
crazy thoughts, and I don’t know how to let everything go. I
know that I need to forgive myself, and the others who have
done this, I just don’t know where to start.” She said.
“Let’s start
with you Kaye Leigh.” Pastor Mark said. “Why can’t you forgive
yourself?” Kaye Leigh laughed.
“I always knew
deep down that Jeff would never hurt me by having an affair,
but I bought into Morgan’s lies so quickly, I think it was
like I was thinking that I didn’t deserve to be happy.” She
said.
“Did you have
thoughts like that before Morgan?” Jeff asked shocked.
“No, I was
content and happy. I loved our life. But I am wondering if I
was thinking that deep down, to just fall into Morgan’s trap
so easily and to basically walk away from our marriage so
readily.” She replied. Kaye Leigh wiped tears away.
“I don’t think
that is the case Kaye Leigh. You cannot pretend to be as happy
as you and Jeff are. Someone would see through it, you can
only fool people for so long.” Pastor Mark said.
“I also don’t
believe you bought into the lies so easily. There was hard
proof looking at you. You said yourself that you searched for
proof in those pictures of any little thing that would prove
it was not Jeff. There just wasn’t a flaw in Morgan’s work.”
Jeff nodded.
“I wanted to
call her and Sam liars; I knew that it was all a lie. Sam
always lied; I don’t know why I thought that this one time it
might be the truth.” Kaye Leigh said standing up.
She was walking
around the room. “I was so hurt and angry. I took it out on
God, on my friends and family.”
“On yourself.”
Jeff added.
“That’s the
great thing about God and your friends and family, no matter
what they don’t give up on you. You may say hurtful things, do
hurtful things but they all still love you and will forgive
you in a heartbeat.” Pastor Mark said.
“The night I
found out about the supposed affair, I went to a bar and got
drunk.” She said.
“That was a
very foolish thing to do.” Jeff nodded. “I think I just used
the news as an excuse to go back to my old life.” She said.
“Why do you
think you wanted to go back to your old life?” Pastor Mark
asked.
“When I seen
those pictures my world just started to spin out of control. I
had no idea where to go or what to do. Before it was so easy
to pretend things were perfect, I know I was not in control in
reality, but I felt like I was. That’s what I wanted was to
control the situation.” She said.
“How were you
controlling it by drinking?” Pastor Mark asked.
“I could drink
enough to forget about it.” She replied.
“Did you forget
about it even for a minute?” Jeff asked.
“No I don’t
remember everything but Becki said that I made comments about
it before I laid down in the hallway.” She said. “So no I
didn’t forget.”
“Sinful nature
takes over a lot of times when things are bad, but that sinful
nature is only a mask it can’t take away the pain or hurt or
anger eventually as you already know Kaye Leigh you will have
to deal with all the issues.” Pastor Mark told her.
“I know.” She
said. “I just am having a really hard time accepting the facts
that Jeff can forgive me so easily, that he loves me that much
too just look pass everything that has happened.”
“What are your
thoughts Jeff?” Pastor Mark asked him.
“I love you so
much Kaye Leigh. I forgave you as soon as I found out what was
going on, I knew that you would find out the truth. When I
left the house it about killed me to leave you, but I knew
that if we were going to survive it would have to be that way
for a while.” Jeff said. “Nothing or no one can ever take your
place in my life Kaye Leigh. I did have to be reminded that I
said I would follow you to the end of the earth when you left
for North Carolina, but I have never and I will never give up
on us.”
Kaye Leigh was
crying again.
“I know that I
don’t deserve someone like you Jeff, but I am so glad that God
brought us together.” She said walking over to hug him.
“You don’t
think you deserve Jeff?” Pastor Mark asked.
“Not with
everything that I’ve done, no.” she replied.
“You deserve
him and so much more Kaye Leigh. Do you realize what you went
through, how far you have come, and how many people whose
lives you have touched? You don’t know how many you have
brought to the Lord with your writing, and lectures.” Pastor
Mark said. “Are you perfect? No, none of us are, we are all
sinners, but with repentance, you can be forgiven of your
sins. All you have to do Kaye Leigh is ask, and you have to
stop blaming yourself for this. Do you believe that you really
caused all of this?”
“No I know I
didn’t cause the mess with Morgan, I did however cause
everyone to go to North Carolina.” She said.
“Ok, I’ll give
you that one.” Pastor Mark said smiling. “No you didn’t cause
any of it; yes you reacted to the circumstances just like
anyone of us would have done.”
“That’s what
we’ve been telling you Kaye Leigh, any of us would have
believed those pictures.” Jeff said taking her hand.
“You’re right
they would have. I know I did not cause this mess; I was a
victim just as much as Jeff was. So now how do I go about
forgiving them?” she asked.
“Have you
forgiven them Jeff?” Jeff shook his head.
“I am really
trying and praying but it’s hard to see pass the hurt they
caused you both physically and emotionally.” He said.
“I think not
only should you pray about it, both of you, but you need to
confront them. Are you planning on going whenever they are
sentenced?” Pastor Mark asked.
“Yes, they are
being sentenced next week. All three of them in one day.” Jeff
said. “I am really glad it will be over in one day, I think
it’s a lot of stress on Kaye Leigh.” She smiled at him.
“I have an idea
that I am thinking about I want to run pass you Pastor.” She
said. “Jeff, I would like to do this part alone if it’s ok.”
“It’s fine, I
will wait outside.” He said kissing her.
When Jeff left,
Kaye Leigh went over the plan that she had been thinking of.
Pastor Mark agreed that it was a good idea and that she should
do it exactly the way she was thinking. When they finished
talking Jeff came back in and they prayed again.
“Now we’re
going to meet at least once a week right Kaye Leigh?” Pastor
Mark said.
“Yes, for a
while I think that would be a good idea.” She said.
“I agree.” He
said. “Never forget Kaye Leigh that you and Jeff were brought
together for a reason that only God knows and He never makes
mistakes.” Kaye Leigh smiled at him.
“Thank you.”
She said.
On their way
out to the truck Kaye Leigh asked, “Now was that so bad?” she
asked.
“No, but I
think I am going to have to remind you again tonight just how
much I love you.” He said.
“I think I will
need reminding every night.” She said laughing.
“You know what
I want Jeff?” Kaye Leigh asked.
“What?” he
replied.
“I want some
ice cream, strawberry cheesecake, and peanut butter cup.” She
said.
“Together?” he
asked.
“Yes.” She
said. He laughed.
“Well then if
that’s what you want then that’s what you will have.” He told
her.
They had
stopped at the store and headed home.
“Hello
everyone.” Kaye Leigh said. “We brought ice cream.” The kids
came running into the kitchen.
“Cool what
kind?” Dan asked.
“About twenty,
your mom couldn’t make up her mind.” Jeff said. Curtis
laughed.
“You eat all
that Kaye Leigh and you are going to be really huge.” He said.
When everyone
sat had ice cream, they sat down in the living room and
watched a movie.
“That’s was
very good. Thank you.” Kaye Leigh said when she finished.
“You’re
welcome.” Jeff replied kissing her.
“I’ll take care
of the bowls.” Curtis said taking everyone’s bowls.
“Thank you.”
Kaye Leigh told him.
“I’ve had a
long day guys so I am going to go up to bed now. I will see
you in the morning. Love you guys.” Kaye Leigh said.
“Night mom.”
The kids said.
“Night Kaye
Leigh.” Curtis and Becki said.
“You know
Curtis you might as well move in here, you’re here more than
you are at your house.” Kaye Leigh said smiling at him.
“I might take
you up on that offer.” He said laughing.