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At the age of five in
1975, I was in a tragic gasoline explosion that doctors and surgeons said
I would not survive. They said I would not live through the night, then
they said three days, then they said it would just be a matter of time.
After surviving the tragedy the doctors then said that I would not be able
to talk, not be able to walk, not be able to use my right arm, that I
could not be in direct sunlight, and that I wouldn't be able to do
anything strenuous. Since that time, God has saved my soul, brought me
through more than 40 major operations, allowed me to be a champion
power lifter, and motor crosser, ordained me a minister of the Gospel as an
evangelist and not only can I talk but I can shout, not only can I walk
but I can run, and not only can I use my right arm but I can lift it
towards the Heavens in Praise and Worship. I love the Lord Jesus Christ
and though I still struggle and even often times question I believe in Him
with all my heart. All Praise, Glory, & Honor be to God Almighty!!! My
desire is to reach as many souls as possible through the experiences
that God has brought me through and is still bringing me through.
BUT IT WAS NOT AS QUICK OR AS EASY
AS THE BRIEF INTRODUCTION I HAVE GIVEN YOU. IN BETWEEN IS WHAT IS
KNOWN AS THE CHRISTIAN WALK. WE WILL ALL STUMBLE AS WE PROCEED DOWN
THIS CHRISTIAN WALK FOR ONLY THE WORM IS FREE FROM THE WORRY OF
STUMBLE. WE ALL FALL DOWN.
SAINTS, ARE JUST THE SINNERS THAT
FALL DOWN .... AND GET UP.
I AM NOT HERE TO TICKLE YOUR EARS
AND TELL YOU HOW WONDERFUL THE LIFE OF A CHRISTIAN IS. I AM HERE TO
TELL THE TRUTH OF MY CHRISTIAN WALK AND HOW WE ARE TO BE BROUGHT
THROUGH FIRE AS PETER SAID IN:
1
Peter 4:12
"Beloved, think it not strange
concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some
strange thing happened unto you"
JUST AS THE PROPHET ZECHARIAH
PROPHESIED:
Zechariah 13:9
And I will bring the third part through the fire, and will refine
them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they
shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my
people: and they shall say, The LORD is my God.
DURING THESE FIERY
TRIALS SATAN WILL SEND SPIRITS TO CONSTANTLY ATTACK AND LURE YOU. WE
MAY GET CAUGHT UP IN THE TRAP. WE MAY EVEN ALLOW THESE IMPS TO ENTER
OUR MIND, SOUL AND HEART AND PLAY OUT WHAT THEY PLACED WITHIN US. WE
MAY FALL DOWN BUT WE GET UP. WE CALL OUT TO OUR FATHER AND BEG FOR
HIS GRACE IN THE NAME OF JESUS. WE ARE CLEANSED WITH THE BLOOD OF
JESUS AND WE CARRY ON.
WE FIGHT THE
GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH
(1
Timothy 6:12)
BUT THEN ...
AS JESUS SAID IN:
Matthew
12:43-45
When the unclean spirit is gone out of a man, he
(the unclean spirit) walketh
through dry places seeking rest, and findeth none. Then he
(the unclean spirit) saith, I
will return into my house (The
person he was just evicted from)
from whence I came out; and when he is come,
(the unclean spirit)
he findeth it empty, swept, and
garnished (Cleansed by God's
Grace). Then goeth he,
(the unclean spirit)
and taketh with himself seven other spirits more wicked than
himself, and they enter in and dwell there:
(The unclean spirit returns to the
host with more powerful evil spirits and enter back in to the person
by way of lures) and the last
state of that man is worse than the first.
WE FALL DOWN
AGAIN ... WE GET UP AGAIN
SAINTS, ARE JUST THE SINNERS THAT
FALL DOWN .... AND GET UP.
THIS IS CALLED SPIRITUAL WARFARE
AND LIKE IT OR NOT ...
YOU ARE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT.
IT IS A BATTLE FOR SOULS.
YOURS
BUT FEAR NOT THESE IMPS OF THE
ENEMY FOR WE ARE ALSO TOLD BY JESUS:
Luke 10:19
Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions,
and over all the power of the enemy: and nothing shall by any means
hurt you.
MAYBE ... JUST MAYBE
YOU TOO ARE EXPERIENCING SOME
SIMILAR TRIALS IN YOUR CHRISTIAN WALK AND WHAT I AM SHARING CAN BE
USED AS A CANDLE IN THE TIMES OF DARKNESS.
HERE IS THE REST OF MY TESTIMONY
...
My first years of life here on
earth were filled with devastation from the tragedy at age five,
but the suffering I was yet to experience was a direct result of
bad decisions made by me.
I was an alcoholic by the age of
8 and selling caffeine speed pills and marijuana by the age of
ten. By the age of sixteen I was in such distress that suicide was
often on my mind and attempted three times by this time. Then this
girl was brought into my life while I was a Junior in High School.
She was the daughter of missionary parents who had just came back
to the U.S. from their missionary journeys in the Philippines. She
invited me to go to Church with her and her family and I accepted
the invitation and thus was being led back towards the right
direction. This girl was very special and we kept going to Church
and school together and thus a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship
was born. I left the drugs behind, at least for a time. I was
working a real job at the age of sixteen as a bag boy in a small
grocery store but my criminal past kept haunting me.
I resisted for years and was used of God as He did His work
through me. I was invited to share my testimony at one of
our youth group meetings. We went from the missionaries house
across a large yard to a neighbor's house where I for the first
time in this type of setting gave my testimony to a group of
about fifteen people and after giving my testimony and answering
the questions that followed, we went back to my girlfriends house
where we held youth meetings on a regular basis every Monday
evening. My girlfriend, her sister and little brother all went
upstairs to talk and say our "good nights" when there was a voice
calling up to us from downstairs. It was the voice of a young boy
named Joey. He wanted to know if he could come up and talk with me
and of course I said yes and I was very curious what was on his
mind. What he said blew my mind. He said that he never really
believed in God before but that after hearing the testimony of
Jesus Christ in my life, that he now believed and wanted to be
saved and didn't know how. He asked if I would lead Him to the
Lord and I answered Him that God was already doing that but that
"yes" I could help him through prayer. I asked him if he was ready
to pray and meet the Lord and to acknowledge that he we was a
sinner in need of being saved and to ask the Lord to come into his
heart and save his soul and to give him strength to not turn back
to his old ways of living that he may live his life for the
Lord. Joey's answer was "yes" as we move closer to one another on
our knees and we both went to the Lord in prayer and as we did
Joey broke out in tears pleading with the Lord, confessing his
sin, and verbally expressing his desire to be saved and come to
know Jesus as Lord. He pleaded for help and his plea was answered
unmistakably and very clearly "YES" and he was saved and thus
another child of the king was born. It was one of the most
incredible experiences I had ever been blessed to be a part of. It
was truly amazing and breath taking.
Sometime later I was invited to
give this same testimony to our Church of about 200 who were
mostly all moved to tears and into awe as they heard first hand
from the mouth of the one who had lived this testimony and the
evidence was right in front of them. There was a pouring out of
the spirit like I had never experienced before. The congregation
was moved by the invisible hand of God. The way God was using me I
had never dreamed of. Suicide was far from me. They asked me then
to be the youth group leader and God moved us all to pull together
as one and great things happened. Reflecting back I can still to
this day scarcely believe what God done through our lives combined
as one body yet individual spiritual growth was something we were
not focusing on as we were being grown by God and he did the
weeding, the watering, the cooling off, the chastising (ouch), the
blessing, and the saving.
This went on for about three
very full years. Then I must tell it, as it is the truth, satan
entered into the picture and began sewing terrible thoughts and
even deeper thoughts into the minds of one young boy that I should
have seen. I walked with this young boy and talked with him he was
a few years younger than I. He was about 14 and we were at my
girlfriends house and got a phone call that I will never forget.
My girlfriends mom and dad took the call then cam in and gave us
the news. This young boy that had been a part of our group and
that went to the same school as I did had hung himself and was
found in hanging in his garage but still had some vital signs. Her
mom and dad rushed to the hospital and asked me to stay there at
the house with their children. We waited patiently for an answer
to come. I made the statement that he was going to be fine and
that he probably hadn't really tried to kill himself. Those words
were so far from right. My girlfriends dad called and asked to
talk to me. He gave me the news and asked me to break the news to
the family and pray with them and for the family of this young
life that had been so early in life abruptly and harshly taken.
The hurt was so deep that I could feel it in my bones. My words
were also now hurting me and as I hung up the phone I had to face
the group that I had assured he was going to be fine and break the
news to them in the best way a sixteen year old boy led of God
could. I had them all join with me on their knees in a tight
circle on the living room floor. and as I reached my arms around
them and they in turn reached their arms around as far as they
could and we all leaned inward and I looked each one in the eyes
and they knew already now what I was going to say and tears began
to flow even before I said Scott is gone. The hurt was deep and
like my heart was in a vice. My girlfriend was overflowing with
pain and hurt as she and her sisters cried for hours; all of us
together sharing this pain and hurt for hours. So many questions,
so many why's? So much to be learned from this. But how would we
continue to move forward as we had been. Well the reality was set
in rather quickly.....we would not continue as we had. This
changed things, this awoke in us new knowledge and understanding
that we never thought of before. Chastisement came soon
thereafter. So many times we were all together and Scott with us
and yet was in a terrible inward battle that none of us knew but
was being shown by his behaviors while he was with us. Looking
back I can remember how he pulled away from the forefront and
began to talk more secluded with a couple of others and I
remember that the behavior did strike my heart as odd and
something that was out of order. I wish I would have took more
heed to what God was showing me. That poor soul didn't have to
walk alone. He had available to him the power from the Omnipotent
God we serve and we as a group were plugged into it, but when
satan infiltrated our group through doors that, some of which I
myself had opened, that snake slithered among us and began to take
hold on one of ours that we had not held on to tightly enough.
We could have been praying for him, we could have asked what is
troubling you. His odd behaviors continued on for many weeks
before this happened. And I was right there . Please teach me
Lord I cry to be more sensitive to you and all around me. The
group was never the same after that. We had to acknowledge it as
it was all in God's hands and we were no more than wretched little
children who could do nothing without God allowing it. And
sometimes God just moves in a situation and all we his children
and the spectators can do is move with His Spirit or shy away. I
chose to move with His Spirit though terrified and uncertain what
lay ahead. We became more involved in the church and we all
bonded together tightly but some were now not coming and then
there would be a new person who would stay for a while and then
they would soon leave. Things were definitely now different.
My girlfriend's family were
getting ready to move to Pennsylvania and her and I were engaged
to be married but were yet to young to get married it seemed. She
wanted to keep a long distance relationship and our song became
"Somewhere out there". Our relationship did not last long being
so far apart because of my rebellious nature began to drive me. Oh
I am so sorry I allowed that to happen. I went back into drugs and
guns and criminal activity. How could I do this? Why? I was almost
eighteen and about to receive $73, 496.00 as soon as I turned
eighteen. The fight that was next was incredible and caught me so
off guard and unexpected.
Just months before I turned
eighteen, my mother and father who were divorced became
entangled in a bitter battle over the money I was about to
receive upon turning eighteen. The dollar amount was $73,496.00.
My dad had been the guardian of my account from the time I was
five up until I was nearly eighteen and now my mom was wanting
him removed as guardian because of expenditures that she felt
were inappropriate. To my surprise a sheriff showed up at my
school with an attorney for my dad to subpoena me to court to
testify on my dad's behalf. Oh, I was so humiliated. I had
always tried to keep family problems away from school as school
was difficult enough as it was, but this was something that I
couldn't hide from school as many of my friends and peers seen
the sheriff cruiser and the man in a suit pull up at the school
and enter the building and then I was promptly paged over the PA
system to come to the office. They issued me the subpoena, which
I had to sign for, and then they left. Then, just when I thought
my day couldn't have gotten any worse, shortly after I arrived
home from school another sheriff showed up at our residence and
again it was for me. Another subpoena, this time for me testify
on behalf of my mother. A court date had been set and both my
mom & dad were expecting to take their side. Upon arriving to
court at the appointed time I suddenly had this idea of how I
might avoid taking sides against one of my parents. I asked the
bailiff to let the Judge know that I would like to talk to him,
which he did. The judge came out of his chambers and inquired of
me what I would like to talk to him about and I told him that it
would be best if we could speak in his chambers to which both
the attorneys insisted on being present in chambers with
us. Upon entering the judges chambers I let him know the dilemma
as I seen it. I explained to him that no amount of money was
worth me choosing one of my parents sides over the other and
that I had a suggestion that would prevent this. He asked what I
had in mind and I explained my position which was that I felt
that he could appoint someone else other than my mom or dad to
be the guardian of my account for the remaining few months until
I was eighteen. I asked him if he knew any city officials in
Circleville that he could appoint as guardian who would be
willing to accept the responsibility. Both the attorneys began
to argue this idea and became very irate, and that is when I
used the opportunity to let them both know that I did not
appreciate at all that either of them had tried to put me
against either one of my parents over money or for any other
reason for that matter. That it was I who had been burned
literally to death and had to suffer these scars all my life and
this money had been raised for my continued health care and that
it should not be a tool used to put division between me and my
parents. The attorneys then tried to find fault with me for what
I had just said and the judge kicked them out of his chambers.
He then told me that it was a good idea and that I could go
ahead and return to the court room. He soon came out of his
chambers and without a trial ever beginning he issued his
decision, which is what we had discussed in chambers, slammed
his gavel and dismissed court. My mom and dad were both in a
little shock as this was not at all what they expected to
happen.
I turned eighteen, received my
money and another new journey began. Have you ever heard the
saying that a fool and his money will soon part? Well, I can
tell you from personal experience thatit is very true. I went
deeper into drug trafficking and criminal activity and also
opened a sports bar with my grandfather. Grandfather never knew
of my criminal side and I kept hid pretty well. Four years
running the bar was all I could take. I knew if I didn't get out
that I was going to wind up dead, or killing someone, or in
prison. So I left the bar scene but was still very deep in sin
and was now living with a new girlfriend in a house that I had
purchased from her family's estate. She kept wanting to have a
baby and I kept telling her that i wanted to wait until we were
married. ABout three months later she let me know she was
pregnant and that she had intentionally quit taking her
birthcontrol to become pregnant. She insisted we get married but
I was hurt by what she had intentionally done even knowing that
I wanted to wait. She suggested I move out for a couple weeks
and that i would then see how much I loved her and would then be
ready to marry her. It sounded sensible but that is far from
what happened. She soon had someone else living in my house with
her unbeknownst to me until very early in the morning hours when
a friend of mine needed a ride to his friends house which I soon
found out was right behind my house that my girlfriend was
living in. It was about 4a.m. and out front of my house was a
strange car and so I went to my house to check on my girlfriend
and to make sure she was okay. She was more than okay, she had
another guy in the house with her and tried to get me to leave
immediately but me being young and full of pride refused to
leave and told her to go into the living room where the
hide-away bed was layed out and tell him to leave. She went in
there and talked for a while but he wasn't leaving. So I entered
the room, set down at the foot of the bed by his feet, turned on
my TV and just set there for a few moments before turning around
towards him and asking him if he was crazy. He said "crazy,
why?" I answered "well, you are in my house, with my girlfriend,
who is pregnant with my child, you are in my bed, and now you
are watching TV with me." He began apologizing and soon left.
She was very angry with me because he left and so when I left to
go back to the house behind my house to say goodbye to my
friend, she called the police. The police came and when I seen a
police car pull up I went over and knocked on the front door and
an officer friend of mine stepped out and asked me what had
happened. I answered him as I described above and then he said
that's what she said but that she had added that I had pulled a
gun and threatened her and the other guy. He had to arrest me
and take me to jail because a gun was allegedly involved. I went
to court the next morning and plead "not guilty" and spent the
next three years preparing to go to trial over this criminal
matter. I had no idea until the day we were to finally go to
trial that I was facing ten years in prison for what any average
person would get a slap on the wrist for and possibly a fine.
The charge was aggravated menacing, two counts, five years for
each count, which is typically a misdemeanor that one typically
never has to go to court over but because my now ex-girlfriend
had told of my criminal past and added quite a bit to it, I was
facing a felony charge, two counts because they believed they
could prove that the threat allegedly made was so severe that it
warranted the penalty of prison. Living a sinful life one can
never be certain just where they might find themselves nor in
what circumstances. All thanks be to God, the truth did come out
during the trial and I was found "not guilty" on both charges.
Though I was not innocent by any stretch of the imagination. My
sinful life had caused much harm to many people, myself
included. I had met the girl who would several years later
become my wife while going through this very trying time in my
life. My new girlfriend and I were engaged within a couple years
and her and I both were living in sin. She had two sons that
somehow reached right through my tough, thick, skin to my heart
and my heart softened. Finally, I wanted to do something good
for someone other than myself for the first time in a long time.
Her oldest son was five and her youngest nine months old when we
met. The oldest is now 20 and the youngest 15 and we are now
married after many years of living a very sinful life together.
We had gotten into cocaine and it really took us way down. God
allowed me to go so far that I realized that unless I turned to
Him that I was going to die as I was a slave to this poisonous
drug. After being up all night one night from using the drug, I
was at my wits end and knew I needed help if I was to ever be
free from the hold satan had on me through this drug and so I
got dressed and went to Church looking for God to set me free
from this strong hold the devil had on me. I arrived at a little
country Church in Massievill, Ohio where my great Aunt Mary goes
to church and testified that satan had a strong hold on me and
that I wanted that hold broken and so I asked if the elders of
the Church along with the Pastor would lay hands on me and pray
for this hold to be broken and God did just that. The strong
hold was broken "Thank you Jesus!". I went home and told my wife
about it but she didn't yet want to quit using cocaine.
Overtime, I gave in a couple of times and used along with her,
but I repented of it and made up my mind that I didn't want the
devil to get a strong hold on me again through the cocaine and
so I don't use it nor do I have any desire to do so. God set me
free from the bonds and free I wanted to stay. My wife too
eventually reached the point where she wanted set free from it
as well and we prayed together and I asked God to take the
addiction away from her too and He did! Praise His Holy name. We
began going to Church on a regular basis and a friend that I
worked with was a Pastor and invited me to his Church. I went
and was truly blessed. My wife and sons began attending there
with me and we remained there for about three years. We were
growing in the Lord and we soon found out that this Christian
walk is far from being easy, but it is essential, and we have
the Holy Spirit to count on to give us guidance and strength
along the way. Our journey didn't end there and neither did the
trials, failures, and victories. We are still on our Christian
walk and glad that we are. Our physical bodies are in quite bad
shape, partly from the drug abuse, partly from accidents, partly
from getting older, and partly from just living through this
life. I am thankful that these bodies are only temporary and
that someday we will be given new glorified ones.
And now I am in the toughest
fight of my spiritual life that I have ever been in thus far. I
have come under fear that I have committed the unpardonable sin,
the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost(Mark 3:29). I am sure that
I have not committed this sin but the adversary of my soul is
trying to convince me that I have and that I am hopelessly lost.
The devil is clever but He cannot defeat God and soon God will
put him in a place prepared just for him and all those that do
not accept Jesus as Lord and Savior.
How it came about that I began
to believe I had committed this most dreadful sin was one Friday
night back in October of 2005. I had gotten off work and went to
pick up two of my nephews from roller skating because their mom
was in not very good shape. I took them home to our house and
got them settled in and then to bed. But I couldn't sleep. At 4:
00a.m. I walked out into the middle of our street, which is
desolate at the time in the morning, and was looking up at the
stars. I had been talking with an attorney just the day
before as I was contemplating having myself put in prison for a
past crime that is nearly ten years old. I've never killed
anyone but I did commit some pretty bad crimes during my
drug use. Anyway, as I stared up at the stars all I wanted to do
was go to Heaven right then and there. Without even realizing it
I was being the most selfish person I have ever known. I wasn't
thinking about my wife, kids, any of my family or friends, I was
only thinking about me. I actually tried to somehow just by will
power to come out of this body so that I could go on to
Heaven. Let me tell you what, IT DOES NOT WORK LIKE THAT! No
way, not at all, that is not the way. Jesus is the way the truth
and the life and no one can come unto the Father (God) except by
Him (Jesus). Oh I definitely was being misled. That was not God
that had me out there in the street at 4am trying to come out of
my body. I confess that I messed up big time and I have repented
of trying to do such things. The devil was telling me I had
messed up, and that was true, the devil was telling me that I
had failed, and that was true, then he said I had no hope, and
that was a lie. God has shown me through the storms of my life
that even when it appears as if all hope is gone, like the times
I was literally dead, that even then there is hope, the proof is
here I sit typing this testimony. I admit my faith wavered and
and I was in unbelief but I confess that Jesus is Lord and that
He saved me and that I am trusting in Him to get me through this
trial as well. If you would my friend, whoever you are that is
reading this right now, please stop and take a moment to say a
prayer for me. Please also say a prayer for my family as this
has had quite an impact on them as well. I want to be a beacon
of light for the God to shine on the path that leads to
salvation through faith in Jesus Christ,
I would like to pray for
you as well right now.
"Dear Heavenly Father, I ask
in Jesus name that you would bless the one who is reading this
testimony of you and that you would speak to their heart the
words of love that come only from you. I ask that you would meet
whatever specific need they have in their life right now and
that as you answer this prayer in their life that they would
recognize it as you and your hand working it out for them. I
pray that you would be glorified in their lives through this
time of intimacy with you and your awesomeness. In the precious
name of Jesus I pray, Amen!"
Thank you friend for giving
the time to the reading of this piece of the testimony of Jesus
Christ in my life. I hope that in some way this will be of help
and encouragement to you. This is just a tidbit of what God has
brought me through.
God has also made me a
preacher, husband, father, son, uncle, cousin, friend,
successful employee at a Robotics Company, champion powerlifter,
motorcrosser, billiards player, a soon to be graduate from Ohio
University as I have only one more class to take (literature),
mechanic, and most importantly of all, I know Jesus Christ as
Lord!
"And the best is yet to
come!!!!"
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