FORGIVING YOURSELF

Welcome back to ...

THE PATH

WELCOME BACK MY FRIEND ...

It is great to have you back on THE PATH. In order to lay down our next STEPPING STONE, we are going to have to get a little dirt on our hands today. The weeds in this area of your garden have are very deep rooted, so it is going to take a little extra effort on your part. These weeds have been there for a very long time, so you will have to dig deep as to remove them, but once they are gone, you are definitely going to sense the enLIGHTening difference.

If you ever feel the need to take a step back to the previous STEPPING STONE to remove a weed that has sprung up near it, by all means do so. You don’t have to count that as one of your 14 days, it is maintenance, like we discussed at THE GARDEN GATE.

As you recall, yesterday we learned of GOD'S GRACE and how forgiving our Father is.

Today, as you stand on the third STEPPING STONE in your garden, we’re going to talk about forgiving yourself and share with you some ways to forgive yourself.

I realize we haven't talked about your specific problem yet, but we will soon. Think of it this way ... If you step on a bunch of little weeds to get to a big one, you'll break them off at the stem and when you go back to clear them out, you may not know the roots are still underground.

Have you ever noticed that sometimes a big weed is easier to pull than the little ones, and there is usually a whole lot of little weeds, but only a few big ones? Our spiritual garden is the same way. If we get rid of all the little weeds first, you'll find that the big ones are really easy to get rid of, so don't underestimate the importance of each step, even though they may seem insignificant, but in time they will be making a huge difference within you.

Hmmmmm, that’s a tough one, isn’t it? Most of the time, this is our biggest problem. As Christians, we know and understand that God forgives us, and we don’t (usually) have a problem forgiving others ... But, ourselves we just can’t seem to get the hang of it, now can we?

I have another TRUTH to share with you. Way down deep inside many of us, there’s a twisted misconception that if we hold on to feelings of guilt, it somehow justifies us in God’s eyes. This is totally the opposite of what your Father wants for you. He didn’t sacrifice His precious Son so that we would harbor feelings of guilt. He did it so that your mind and heart would be TOTALLY FREE of that.

Guilt is a bad seed. As long as it’s buried down deep, it WILL grow. Unattended, it will become a big problem in your garden, because it will bloom and go to seed, and soon you’ll have a whole bunch of little problems that grow into big problems and it just keeps getting worse.

Once God forgives you, He doesn’t remember it as we discussed in the King David story. You are cleansed of it. Pure as a little baby. And that’s how your Father sees you ... As His CHILD!

Look at this from God’s point of view. Let’s say you’re a loving parent, whose child has done something wrong. You may chasten the child, or some other circumstances may arise that bring him to repentance. Your precious child comes to you to confess, and asks forgiveness. Then you forgive him lovingly, and all is well. Later on, you’re walking past the closed door of your child’s room and you hear your little child crying and rapping his head on the wall, because he STILL feels badly for what he’s done.

How would that make you feel? Maybe it would make you feel like he doubts your forgiveness. It would make us want to console the child and make them HEAR and UNDERSTAND that we truly DO forgive them.

But ... What if they ran away?

What if they did not BELIEVE that they were forgiven or did not forgive themselves? That is what we do when we do not forgive ourselves when God has forgiven us. Now, knowing that you are God’s child, how can you serve the Lord effectively and efficiently, as long as you carry guilt inside of you?

FORGIVING YOURSELF IS ESSENTIAL
THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

As adult Christians, we understand that God forgives us, so the bad feelings of guilt that we store up inside are in TRUTH, self pity. You’re wasting your time feeling guilty. You’re wasting precious time that you could be using toward God’s plans for your life. Lose the guilt, and get on with the God business. Put on your garden gloves, get a good hold on that weed, and eliminate it from your life once and forever.

IT IS A LIE

Replace it with this Step Four seed of TRUTH by BELIEVING this TRUTH.

When you ask our loving, merciful Father to forgive you for a sin in the name of Jesus ...

That sin is as far away as the East is from the West ...

Once sin is removed ... It is gone.

God did the job.

You don’t have to go and clean up after Him.

At the risk of being repetitive, let me just say once again ...

FORGIVING YOURSELF THROUGH GRACE
GOD PROVIDES WAYS TO FORGIVE YOURSELF

We’re going on a FIELD TRIP now. The first one is a lesson about forgiveness. We’ve talked about God’s forgiveness ... That lovely blessing called Grace, and we’ve talked about forgiving yourself. This FIELD TRIP on forgiveness is about forgiving others for we must forgive all ... To be forgiven.

Forgiveness has different meanings for different people depending on what's being "forgiven". Actually, most believe there are various levels of forgiveness. Oft times, it depends on who is being forgiven. The question is, what would Jesus consider as being forgiveness? While you let that question simmer in your mind for a bit, let us look at what Jesus said about it.

In the book of James we get a clear picture of what happens when you gain your brother.

Let's do a little digging and find out who we really are today, shall we? Remember when we said that the meaning of forgiveness differs from person to person and circumstance to circumstance? Well, the reason we seem to have given the act of forgiveness different levels, is so that we can say we've forgiven, without really finishing the job. We feel like as long as we've achieved or performed any given level of forgiveness, we can take credit for the total act of this very important virtue.

We're gonna take a look at the different levels that we've divided forgiveness up into and you can decide for yourself, which level(s) you've chosen to grant to the people in your life. Some of these may sound the same to you, but many people don't like to admit to something (even to themselves) unless every word in the description are the very words they would use. These aren't in any order of importance.

• You cease to feel resentment against an offender, but you really don't trust them anymore whether you should or should not in some cases, causing you not to be able to trust others for this particular offense caused by one soul.
• You can forgive but you can't forget. You store a record of the offence in the back of your mind just in case you need to bring it up at a later date for any reason.
• You claim to forgive, but your relationship has never been quite the same with the person ... and never will be. You tolerate the offender as much and as you can bear to, because Jesus said to forgive. Sometimes you rarely speak, if ever again, and the relationship virtually ends after the so-called forgiveness.
• You excuse the offense, but you ridicule, deride, mock, taunt or rally the offender, sometimes in anger and other times in humor.
• You forgive outwardly for appearances, but inside you just can't seem to forgive.
• Some things you forgive, some things ya don't, it's complicated y'know.

and finally

Maybe the level of forgiveness that you use isn’t included here. If it’s not, go ahead and add them in, because there are bound to be millions of conditions and levels that fall in between these categories, or have additional little addendums. It’s okay, we’re all guilty of it.

Ah, here’s one I forgot:

• As long as you’re in a good mood, your forgiveness abounds, but wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and anyone who has ever sinned against you is a scoundrel until your mood changes.

Now, let's look at the word forgive. The prefix for means before and the word give, in this case, means commit. So, perhaps to forgive ... To really forgive is to think of things as they were before the offense was committed. You may say, That's a tough thing to do, until you think about it this way: Have you ever done anything that you wish you had never done? Is there something that if you could, you would totally erase it from your life, that it would be forgotten totally from anyone's memory who knows about it? It won't happen unless you forgive others the same way.

FORGIVING YOURSELF AND ALL OTHERS
WAYS TO FORGIVE YOURSELF BY FORGIVING OTHERS

Now, that the tables have been turned, and your own forgiveness of others is involved ... You can probably relate a lil better to the phrase "forgive and forget." It's hard on both the offender and the victim of a sin, when forgiveness is not granted. For the offender, they feel untrusted and ashamed. It can weaken a person's soul to live with knowing that they're not forgiven for something that they're so sorry for.

It's as if there's an invisible net around them that they can't escape. To repent for something we've done, and not to be forgiven, is an experience that God didn't want us to bear, and that's the whole reason why we have the New Testament, and why Jesus died for us. It's a shame that we've defiled this beautiful gift of grace by putting it into levels. Forgive others the way you want to be forgiven by God for things that you've done.

What about if you’re the victim of a sin? Let’s say someone has committed a sin against you and you don’t forgive them. How can being unforgiving hurt you? It's in your subconscious mind if you haven't completely forgiven someone for something. Your mind knows what level you've assigned to each act of forgiveness you've granted. You don't think about it all the time, but the knowledge of it is there. This can cause bitterness in your spirit that can affect other parts of your life. Your faith will feel like it's tainted with guilt.

That's because you're being measured by God with the same forgiveness scale that you're using. Your lack of trust in your offender can cause you to be untrusting of others as well. If your offender is a loved one, you can become blameful of them for unrelated things that happen in your life. When we are hurt very deeply, we sometimes fail to forgive and rebuild the trust with our family or friends that hurt us.

Now, obviously this does not mean that you MUST trust ALL of those who have hurt you, in particular when terrible crimes were committed and allow what occurred to happen again ... God forbid. It means that you should not let the lack of trust in them, establish a habit within you and have you walk in fear, unable to trust anyone else.

In a perfect world, when we forgive someone, it would really truly be as if the offense never happened. We would be able to love, communicate, befriend, trust, and continue in our relationships with one another as if the offense was erased from time. My friend, that is the description of how it is in heaven and this earth is not a perfect world. Where we fear continued abuse from an offender, we must forgive the best way we know how. If you are facing circumstances that require forgiveness that risks your physical or psychological safety, prayer is essential. Ask Jesus how to completely forgive and release someone from offenses where communication seems impossible afterward.

FORGIVING YOURSELF WARNING
WAYS TO FORGIVE YOURSELF ARE AVAILABLE - CHOOSE THEM.

The point is ... Being unforgiving can cause a chain of circumstances that prevent you from being fruitful for God. Until you completely release your offender from his sin, you'll remain in the same net that you've put that soul in.

We've done a pretty thorough job of putting forgiveness into levels, now let's look at the levels that we've put sin into. What about people? Do you find it easier to forgive a loved one than an acquaintance or a stranger for the same offense? Are there sins that we simply find unforgivable and others that we have no problem whatsoever forgetting? To that, I have to ask you, are there some sins that you’ve committed that you think God should hold you accountable for, or do you want Him to forgive all of your sins?